I took the following from an Email from Joe Vitale. I felt it said very well what I have been trying to tell people about why you should write your own wedding or marriage vows.
He has a program he sells that he calls, Miracle Coaching, and he talks about the Law of Attraction, or Law of Cause and Effect. Or another way to put it is to say “You have to Decide.” You can check out his site at www.MrFire.com
“You are the masterpiece of your own life; you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is your life (your marriage).
What does that mean and why is it important to you?
It means that you do not have any limits as to what you can accomplish. You just need to have a plan and work it. But it is all up to you.
So now that you know what you would dare, what you would dare to be and what you would dare to have if there were no limits - you are ahead of 99.9% of people.
“What would you dare” is another way of saying that the two of you sculpt the form of your marriage the way you want. Not the way anyone in your family lived. Not how anyone on TV lives. Of course there are some good role models you want to look at for what they have to teach you , but your dream is your dream!
Now you need to simply put together a plan to get here. Believe me when I say this is not rocket science. In fact, you may be surprised at it simplicity.
What can you dare? How big can you dream? That’s the simple part.
But, Rev. Linda, we have to face reality.
No, never. Make your own! That is what you do when you write your wedding vows together and infuse them with your dreams.
That dream is your PLAN. That dream written into your personal wedding vows is your P LAN! You will have infused it with your imagination, creativity and energy. That plan takes on a life of its own and goes to work immediately to bring you the sculpting tools, the ideas, the experiences that manifest as your amazing marriage and partnership.
I give you everything you need in order to begin to think ‘big’ and dare to dream a big dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages. Follow this link or the one on the right–wedding vows- www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Why don’t you sign up to receive new postings as I write them. Follow the RSS feed.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘write the dream’ and then go and ‘live it.’
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Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Wedding Vows Create Key Memories
was thinking this morning, as I sipped my second cup of cold coffee, about wedding or marriage vows and how the subconscious mind works.
For most people, unless they have studied metaphysics or mental science or some such discipline, the concept of a subconscious or unconscious mind is vague at best.
Here is what came out of those cold cups of coffee, cold because of all the thinking that was going on in between sips.
And even though it was ‘hot' thinking I haven't yet learned how to motivate molecules to physically change form: like heating up coffee or bending spoons.
Well, anyway, the thought that came to me was the concept of memories.
More...
Why?
Because everything we think, do, or are has to do with memories. Memories that have been encoded into our cells.
Even the way our bodies function is as a result of memory; most of those functions we inherited from before we were born, way back to some universal idea of humans as we developed over time. We can call them DNA or genetics but when it comes right down to it those are all encoded memories.
On some level all our experiences are turned to memories that hang around in our personal physical and mental data bank. Every minute we are comparing what we are hearing, seeing, feeling, etc. with the information in that data bank.
Based on what we find that matches the memories we have, or doesn't match anything, our ‘subconscious' is giving us directions on what to do, what to say, what to think, where to go, and how to do it. Or how not to do or say or go or be.
That's what I call default thinking.
If we want our lives to be any different than they are we must change the energy or vibration of the memories. We must consciously choose or decide on the type of memories we want to store up in our data bank. And then go about experiencing them so we can add to the 'frame of reference.'
The idea of choosing to create memories seems a lot easier to me than trying to change our minds or our thinking.
Ask yourself:
"How do I want my life to be? What does it look like, feel like, taste like, smell look like?" Then create experiences that add new memories to the data bank. When there are more memories that match what you want, that becomes the dominant force factor, or attracting factor.
I am calling them ‘key' memories.
The idea of search, find, and show up works much like search engines. The more key words you have in your web site the more likely it is that the search engines will choose your web site to show up early in the search results.
Keep adding key memories. Those key memories have a dominant feeling, shape, color, sound, etc.
Create your vision and then keep adding ‘key' memories until you have more matches that support your dreams than ones that resist or even negate them.
Writing wedding vows from the conscious creation of a vision and dream that has power, passion and purpose behind them is like storing up key memories before they are actually experienced.
Because the subconscious, or your memories, doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
Is that a wedding gift without a priceag or what? See more at www.weddingvowsandceremonies where I have an amazing Ebook on writing wedding vows. Click on the RSS feed on the Weding Vow Blog to receive new postings.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
For most people, unless they have studied metaphysics or mental science or some such discipline, the concept of a subconscious or unconscious mind is vague at best.
Here is what came out of those cold cups of coffee, cold because of all the thinking that was going on in between sips.
And even though it was ‘hot' thinking I haven't yet learned how to motivate molecules to physically change form: like heating up coffee or bending spoons.
Well, anyway, the thought that came to me was the concept of memories.
More...
Why?
Because everything we think, do, or are has to do with memories. Memories that have been encoded into our cells.
Even the way our bodies function is as a result of memory; most of those functions we inherited from before we were born, way back to some universal idea of humans as we developed over time. We can call them DNA or genetics but when it comes right down to it those are all encoded memories.
On some level all our experiences are turned to memories that hang around in our personal physical and mental data bank. Every minute we are comparing what we are hearing, seeing, feeling, etc. with the information in that data bank.
Based on what we find that matches the memories we have, or doesn't match anything, our ‘subconscious' is giving us directions on what to do, what to say, what to think, where to go, and how to do it. Or how not to do or say or go or be.
That's what I call default thinking.
If we want our lives to be any different than they are we must change the energy or vibration of the memories. We must consciously choose or decide on the type of memories we want to store up in our data bank. And then go about experiencing them so we can add to the 'frame of reference.'
The idea of choosing to create memories seems a lot easier to me than trying to change our minds or our thinking.
Ask yourself:
"How do I want my life to be? What does it look like, feel like, taste like, smell look like?" Then create experiences that add new memories to the data bank. When there are more memories that match what you want, that becomes the dominant force factor, or attracting factor.
I am calling them ‘key' memories.
The idea of search, find, and show up works much like search engines. The more key words you have in your web site the more likely it is that the search engines will choose your web site to show up early in the search results.
Keep adding key memories. Those key memories have a dominant feeling, shape, color, sound, etc.
Create your vision and then keep adding ‘key' memories until you have more matches that support your dreams than ones that resist or even negate them.
Writing wedding vows from the conscious creation of a vision and dream that has power, passion and purpose behind them is like storing up key memories before they are actually experienced.
Because the subconscious, or your memories, doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
Is that a wedding gift without a priceag or what? See more at www.weddingvowsandceremonies where I have an amazing Ebook on writing wedding vows. Click on the RSS feed on the Weding Vow Blog to receive new postings.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Wedding Vows Make MARRIAGE Even More Special
I was reading a blog this morning about how writing personal wedding vows make a wedding even more special.
You can make you MARRIAGE even more special by writing your own vows!!
There is a little known secret about wedding vows: They have the potential to draw to a couple everything that they need to be 'living the dream' that they wrote into their vows. Their vows are sort of like a spiritual and mental plan that the Universe recognizes as a magnet and somehow sends the people, things, opportunities, experiences and ideas that support that plan.
But here's some of what is needed to create that Law of Attraction or grow a strong magnet: The plan, the vows, have to be reread and reread and reread until they become 'second nature.'
There are a couple of ways this can be done.
1. Print out two copies of the vows and put one copy by each side of the bed to be read each night by each individual. Once a month read them together.
2. Print out one copy that stays in the bedroom and both partners read the vows together every night.
3. Both partners read the vows together every morning before they leave the house.
By reading those vows every day they become infused into the minds, lives and spiritual activities of the couple. I call that document a one page miracle. See more about 'writing down the dream,' and 'keeping the dream alive,' in other blogs.
www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda.
You can make you MARRIAGE even more special by writing your own vows!!
There is a little known secret about wedding vows: They have the potential to draw to a couple everything that they need to be 'living the dream' that they wrote into their vows. Their vows are sort of like a spiritual and mental plan that the Universe recognizes as a magnet and somehow sends the people, things, opportunities, experiences and ideas that support that plan.
But here's some of what is needed to create that Law of Attraction or grow a strong magnet: The plan, the vows, have to be reread and reread and reread until they become 'second nature.'
There are a couple of ways this can be done.
1. Print out two copies of the vows and put one copy by each side of the bed to be read each night by each individual. Once a month read them together.
2. Print out one copy that stays in the bedroom and both partners read the vows together every night.
3. Both partners read the vows together every morning before they leave the house.
By reading those vows every day they become infused into the minds, lives and spiritual activities of the couple. I call that document a one page miracle. See more about 'writing down the dream,' and 'keeping the dream alive,' in other blogs.
www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Wedding Vows-The Little Things are the Big Things
In my wedding ceremonies, before we get to the wedding vows, I talk about the empty box (metaphor for the marriage or partnership) and relate it to a bank account.
This is from one of my wedding ceremonies.
"Binding two people in a spiritual atmosphere of love and trust is what makes this union a marriage. It is indeed a meeting and melding of hearts and lives. That love and trust is sort of like the ribbon that holds the two parts of a gift box together."
And, indeed, marriage is like a box. In order to take anything out of it you must first put something into it.
Another way of putting it is that this box is a kind of spiritual bank account.
Put love, joy, appreciation, compassion and support into the box and it will multiply so that when you need it there is something there to sustain you.
You can’t go to the bank and ask for money if you don’t have anything in your account. You can try but you’re not going to get anything.
It’s the same way with a marriage. If you haven’t put any energy, attention into the marriage, even in little ways, it won’t hold together when there are difficulties or challenges.
Here’s a little more from that ceremony:
Try to fall more head over heels in love with each other every day. Look for even the smallest thing to be grateful and excited about.
Every night before you go to bed and every morning find one thing to be grateful for and tell each other.
One of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is, “Do little things for each other.” All those little things, actions, words, and even thoughts all add up and like money, compound.
Find a way to add a few words to your wedding vows. Here is a suggestion: “I will remember to appreciate you in thought, word and deed, every day and support our marriage by not taking you for granted.”
Leave notes, say ‘thank you,’ ask what you can do to help, touch each other easily and often, say ‘I love you,’ for no reason at all.
Big expressions of love and attention are wonderful but in the long run it’s the little things that build up trust the most.
Just be natural and have fun.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
This is from one of my wedding ceremonies.
"Binding two people in a spiritual atmosphere of love and trust is what makes this union a marriage. It is indeed a meeting and melding of hearts and lives. That love and trust is sort of like the ribbon that holds the two parts of a gift box together."
And, indeed, marriage is like a box. In order to take anything out of it you must first put something into it.
Another way of putting it is that this box is a kind of spiritual bank account.
Put love, joy, appreciation, compassion and support into the box and it will multiply so that when you need it there is something there to sustain you.
You can’t go to the bank and ask for money if you don’t have anything in your account. You can try but you’re not going to get anything.
It’s the same way with a marriage. If you haven’t put any energy, attention into the marriage, even in little ways, it won’t hold together when there are difficulties or challenges.
Here’s a little more from that ceremony:
Try to fall more head over heels in love with each other every day. Look for even the smallest thing to be grateful and excited about.
Every night before you go to bed and every morning find one thing to be grateful for and tell each other.
One of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is, “Do little things for each other.” All those little things, actions, words, and even thoughts all add up and like money, compound.
Find a way to add a few words to your wedding vows. Here is a suggestion: “I will remember to appreciate you in thought, word and deed, every day and support our marriage by not taking you for granted.”
Leave notes, say ‘thank you,’ ask what you can do to help, touch each other easily and often, say ‘I love you,’ for no reason at all.
Big expressions of love and attention are wonderful but in the long run it’s the little things that build up trust the most.
Just be natural and have fun.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Wedding Vows Create Emotional and Sexual Intimacy
Last week I went searching for the answer to this question: What are the needs of men and women? I found they were the same.
Both men and women are looking for intimacy.
That's where the similarities end because women went emotional intimacy and men want physical intimacy.
It's a catch 22. Men, without actually saying so, are saying, "Give me sex and you'll get intimacy."
Women are saying, "Give me intimacy and I'll give you sex."
What a situation. But I can help. Your wedding vows, in particular, can help, because if you take time to write meaningful vows in shared conversation that sets the beginning of a pattern that can be sustained.
If you've been reading my blogs or the material on my web site you know that after you have read the vows at your wedding that is not the end of them.
You've got to make them into a Law of Attraction. Meaning that your vows have the potential to draw to you, almost effortlessly, everything you need to live the life of your dreams. That includes ideas, people, things, and experiences.
I'm going to say it again and again: You create a Law of Attraction by rereading your vows over and over and over until they have imprinted themselves into your mind, your body and your life. It's your thinking and your beliefs that create your reality. Reading your vows over and over and over again are a habit well worth cultivating.
Set a copy of your vows next to each bedside table so that each of you can read them, even if only a few lines, every night before you go to sleep. That way they go to work on your subconscious, which is the real attractor factor because your subconscious is like your hard drive and you know that your computer won't do anything that it is not programmed to do.
What you are doing is reprogram your mind to create, to draw to you all the elements of the dream you have for yourself and your marriage, and to recognize them when they show up. You are going to override old patterns and install new ones.
When people ask you how you are you can honestly and with enthusiasm say, "I'm livin' the dream!"
As you live the dream there will be more energy for life, for each other, for the marriage, for everything. Passion soars, intimacy skyrockets and both of you get more what you want easily.
Once a month read those vows together. That opens conversation and builds trust and empathy, and even more intimacy. It also gives you both an opportunity to check in with each other before big problems arise.
Is it really that easy to maintain intimacy and even expand it so both partners get what they need?
Yes and no. Yes if you consciously build a dream into your vows, take them seriously and repeat them until they are installed on your personal operating system.
No, if you don't take them seriously.
I'm not saying that there will never be challenges or problems. What I'm saying is that you will be more equipped to grow through them instead of making them into walls.
There will be more love, more laughter, more emotional intimacy and more sex!
Sounds simple but then I believe that most answers are simple. We tend to try to make them bigger than they are.
You can see more blogs and access my Ebook on The Secret Life of Wedding Vows-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
Both men and women are looking for intimacy.
That's where the similarities end because women went emotional intimacy and men want physical intimacy.
It's a catch 22. Men, without actually saying so, are saying, "Give me sex and you'll get intimacy."
Women are saying, "Give me intimacy and I'll give you sex."
What a situation. But I can help. Your wedding vows, in particular, can help, because if you take time to write meaningful vows in shared conversation that sets the beginning of a pattern that can be sustained.
If you've been reading my blogs or the material on my web site you know that after you have read the vows at your wedding that is not the end of them.
You've got to make them into a Law of Attraction. Meaning that your vows have the potential to draw to you, almost effortlessly, everything you need to live the life of your dreams. That includes ideas, people, things, and experiences.
I'm going to say it again and again: You create a Law of Attraction by rereading your vows over and over and over until they have imprinted themselves into your mind, your body and your life. It's your thinking and your beliefs that create your reality. Reading your vows over and over and over again are a habit well worth cultivating.
Set a copy of your vows next to each bedside table so that each of you can read them, even if only a few lines, every night before you go to sleep. That way they go to work on your subconscious, which is the real attractor factor because your subconscious is like your hard drive and you know that your computer won't do anything that it is not programmed to do.
What you are doing is reprogram your mind to create, to draw to you all the elements of the dream you have for yourself and your marriage, and to recognize them when they show up. You are going to override old patterns and install new ones.
When people ask you how you are you can honestly and with enthusiasm say, "I'm livin' the dream!"
As you live the dream there will be more energy for life, for each other, for the marriage, for everything. Passion soars, intimacy skyrockets and both of you get more what you want easily.
Once a month read those vows together. That opens conversation and builds trust and empathy, and even more intimacy. It also gives you both an opportunity to check in with each other before big problems arise.
Is it really that easy to maintain intimacy and even expand it so both partners get what they need?
Yes and no. Yes if you consciously build a dream into your vows, take them seriously and repeat them until they are installed on your personal operating system.
No, if you don't take them seriously.
I'm not saying that there will never be challenges or problems. What I'm saying is that you will be more equipped to grow through them instead of making them into walls.
There will be more love, more laughter, more emotional intimacy and more sex!
Sounds simple but then I believe that most answers are simple. We tend to try to make them bigger than they are.
You can see more blogs and access my Ebook on The Secret Life of Wedding Vows-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
Friday, July 25, 2008
Wedding Vows Create Good Marriages
I’m taking a line from Wilfred Peterson’s poem, The Art of Marriage: A good marriage has to be created.
This states my basic philosophy of why a couple must write their own personal wedding vows: You write your own wedding vows to create a vision or a dream for your life together. And for the ‘biggest bang for your buck’ write them in shared conversation!
When a couple writes their own wedding vows together it is a fantastic opportunity to use this highly charged time to begin to craft–consciously and specifically–a good marriage much as one would create a work of art, which is what you want your marriage to be–a work of art!
Only this one you don’t hang on the wall, you’re living it.
Maybe that’s not true. Maybe you do hang a good marriage on the wall. Photographs can tell the true story! They are memories in living color.
By sitting down together and talking about important aspects of your marriage you are directing your thought for the specific purpose of creating a dream, a vision, a beautiful marriage with substance. This has more sticking power than casual conversation.
When you sit down together to engage in crafting a dream for your life together that you will put into the form of wedding vows, some of that dialog can be as specific as the question, “What is your and my idea of what the term, ‘good marriage’ means?
It’s OK to look at what is ‘doesn’t’ mean but don’t spend too much time on this.Use it as a starting point only.
Almost all of our opinion and experience of what a marriage is has been developed by being exposed to parents, grandparents, friends, brothers and sisters, etc. There can be some emotional experiences that you do not want to get too deeply into.
Look at what your experience and exposure has told you didn’t work then say to yourselves, “Ok, I, we, don’t want to do that. Then what do we need to do, to know, to be aware of that is the opposite of what didn’t work?
You’ve most likely also seen couples who had very good marriages. Verbally visit those and try to put into words what the elements were that made up those marriages.
It’s also well worth your time to ask those people how they created such wonderful marriages. If you don’t have time before you write your vows, then do it after the wedding.
In fact, it’s a good habit to keep watching, listening, and inquiring into the habits that comprise strong marriages and apply those examples into your lives.
Define what you believe a good marriage to be, write it down in your vows and pledge to keep working at it until you are living that dream!
You can see more blogs and access my Ebook on The Secret Life of Wedding Vows-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
This states my basic philosophy of why a couple must write their own personal wedding vows: You write your own wedding vows to create a vision or a dream for your life together. And for the ‘biggest bang for your buck’ write them in shared conversation!
When a couple writes their own wedding vows together it is a fantastic opportunity to use this highly charged time to begin to craft–consciously and specifically–a good marriage much as one would create a work of art, which is what you want your marriage to be–a work of art!
Only this one you don’t hang on the wall, you’re living it.
Maybe that’s not true. Maybe you do hang a good marriage on the wall. Photographs can tell the true story! They are memories in living color.
By sitting down together and talking about important aspects of your marriage you are directing your thought for the specific purpose of creating a dream, a vision, a beautiful marriage with substance. This has more sticking power than casual conversation.
When you sit down together to engage in crafting a dream for your life together that you will put into the form of wedding vows, some of that dialog can be as specific as the question, “What is your and my idea of what the term, ‘good marriage’ means?
It’s OK to look at what is ‘doesn’t’ mean but don’t spend too much time on this.Use it as a starting point only.
Almost all of our opinion and experience of what a marriage is has been developed by being exposed to parents, grandparents, friends, brothers and sisters, etc. There can be some emotional experiences that you do not want to get too deeply into.
Look at what your experience and exposure has told you didn’t work then say to yourselves, “Ok, I, we, don’t want to do that. Then what do we need to do, to know, to be aware of that is the opposite of what didn’t work?
You’ve most likely also seen couples who had very good marriages. Verbally visit those and try to put into words what the elements were that made up those marriages.
It’s also well worth your time to ask those people how they created such wonderful marriages. If you don’t have time before you write your vows, then do it after the wedding.
In fact, it’s a good habit to keep watching, listening, and inquiring into the habits that comprise strong marriages and apply those examples into your lives.
Define what you believe a good marriage to be, write it down in your vows and pledge to keep working at it until you are living that dream!
You can see more blogs and access my Ebook on The Secret Life of Wedding Vows-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
Wedding Vows-Never too Late to Hold Hands
One of the things that I sometimes see that cause me to smile and feel very, very glad, is when I see people holding hands.
That simple act seems to speak volumes without one single spoken word. It might be a good idea to promise this in your wedding vows.
Holding hands means you are special to me. It means I forgive you. It means we are partners. It means that we are living in possibilities. It means that we are walking together in life, not in separate directions.
I’m almost considering rewriting the 10 Commandments of Marriage and adding, “Hold hands for one minute every day.”
Just imagine taking 1 minute to reach out and touch each other by making a purposeful connection? Maybe you just stand still somewhere and take each other’s hands and look at each other. I am right now feeling the power in that 1 minute.
That one minute could change everything. It lines both of you up on the same page, or the same promise, or the same dream or however you might want to express it.
That one minute says I love you, I forgive you, I want the best for you, I want the best for us, I want the best for everyone else.
This simple 1 minute connection, if done in the morning could set your entire day in a positive and light way.
What if, for one minute, the entire world held hands? A whistle blew and everyone reached out and took the hand of someone close. What if no one noticed each other’s differences? Just one hand holding another hand. No requirements. Nothing else to do. Just holding hands for 1 minute.
I challenge you. Reach out and hold your partner’s hand for 1 minute today. And one minute tomorrow. And one minute the next day, and the next and the next.
Without one spoken word your life and the world is changed.
Powerful stuff, yes? Remember that your wedding vows are a fabulous vehicle for creating the life you want.
You can see more blogs and access my Ebook on The Secret Life of Wedding Vows-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
That simple act seems to speak volumes without one single spoken word. It might be a good idea to promise this in your wedding vows.
Holding hands means you are special to me. It means I forgive you. It means we are partners. It means that we are living in possibilities. It means that we are walking together in life, not in separate directions.
I’m almost considering rewriting the 10 Commandments of Marriage and adding, “Hold hands for one minute every day.”
Just imagine taking 1 minute to reach out and touch each other by making a purposeful connection? Maybe you just stand still somewhere and take each other’s hands and look at each other. I am right now feeling the power in that 1 minute.
That one minute could change everything. It lines both of you up on the same page, or the same promise, or the same dream or however you might want to express it.
That one minute says I love you, I forgive you, I want the best for you, I want the best for us, I want the best for everyone else.
This simple 1 minute connection, if done in the morning could set your entire day in a positive and light way.
What if, for one minute, the entire world held hands? A whistle blew and everyone reached out and took the hand of someone close. What if no one noticed each other’s differences? Just one hand holding another hand. No requirements. Nothing else to do. Just holding hands for 1 minute.
I challenge you. Reach out and hold your partner’s hand for 1 minute today. And one minute tomorrow. And one minute the next day, and the next and the next.
Without one spoken word your life and the world is changed.
Powerful stuff, yes? Remember that your wedding vows are a fabulous vehicle for creating the life you want.
You can see more blogs and access my Ebook on The Secret Life of Wedding Vows-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
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