You might want to use the idea I present in this post as a way to begin to consciously craft a dream for your life together. It can be a basis for the vows that you write. It’s an exercise in thinking BIG that becomes a powerful intention. Most personal motivators have used this and continue to use it on a regular basis because it forces them to keep expanding their expectations.
This simple exercise is going to give you an opportunity to let your imagination fly free. Don’t be afraid to dream big. Imagine things that you can’t possibly think will ever come about. In the imagining of a thing is the potential for it’s success.
You could begin to fill in the blanks some evening over dinner and make it an ongoing monthly event. Just imagine how this can open up conversation about the impossible becoming possible.
In a notebook (that you can keep) write down the following headings on separate pages and number your page from 1-101:
WHAT WE WANT TO BE
WHAT WE WANT TO DO
WHAT WE WANT TO HAVE.
You are not trying to fill it all in at one time but enter as much as you can think of.
Remember this is not about practicality, it’s about thinking out of the box.
Include physical, mental and spiritual aspects.
Again, everything and anything is possible so let your imagination soar. You are stretching your believability arms.
If your intention is clear and you’re passionately involved in your vision, the means for achieving it will come to you. The how-to’s will simply begin to manifest in ways more magnificent than you can imagine.
Write your vows to support the dreams that you wrote. Include a line something like this: “I promise to always dream with you and imagine the most that is possible.”
Then, of course, keep reading and reading those vows over and over and over. You will begin to see those ‘impossible’ people, places, things, ideas, situations, experiences and opportunities show up in magical and mystical ways.
THINK BIG!!
(Use this exercise for your own personal life as well as the life of your marriage.)
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
See, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-How Compatible Are You Anyway?
When I give my seminars for writing your own personal wedding vows, I take it as a success if a couple decides that they are not compatible enough to follow through with their wedding.
Truthfully, it hasn’t happened yet, but it could and is probably only a matter of time.
What I want to share with you today is some material I heard from a marriage coach on a TV show that I listened in on too late to get everything. She was talking about the 7 questions to ask yourselves when it comes to whether or not you are compatible.
I only got 5. But these five are still very important. Here they are:
1. Have I set my own separate identity? Do you have other friends and activities outside the relationship that give you a strong sense of self. Times have changed. It used to be that a woman married her husband and took on his identity and his dreams and goals. It’s vastly different these days.
2. Are your financial personalities compatible? How do you handle money? Is one of you a spender and the other a saver? How do you handle debt? Who pays the bills? All these are questions that should be answered early on.
3. What are your goals and your career aspirations? Do you both want children? Will someone stay home with them? Who? If the opportunity came up would you move somewhere else if you didn’t know anyone there?
4. What are your spiritual needs? What is the role of religion in your life?
5. Are your ideas of fun compatible? Does your partner like physical activities like backpacking and you would rather go to the movies? Is your partner a sportsaholic and you don’t care who is playing what or where or when? Does you partner like to engage in activities like golf but you aren’t interested.
That’s the end of my notes. I’m going to add two of my own. These are questions that I have my couples spend some time with at the seminars and when getting ready to write their own personal wedding or marriage or commitment.
6. What are your values? Values are more than not lying and cheating. Some of them you will have covered in the above questions. Here are a few to think about: money, sex, self acceptance, religion and spirituality, competition, community, extended family, team work, knwledge, loyalty, beauty, philanthropy, etc. On a score of 1-10, how do you rate the importance of each topic?
Here is a quote from the 10 Commandments of Marriage: Commandment #1-Honor Yourself- “When you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust other people, your partner, and the universe at large. it’s the basis for everything else that defines your life.” (Go to the wedding vow eBook page link and follow the link for a totally free copy of 10 Commandments or go to www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com )
7. What makes you come alive? What do you love? Here’s a quote by Howard Thurston, “Do not ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and then go out and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” When you are loving what you do then life is a whole lot easier.
A lot to chew on, isn’t it? Take it all a bite at a time. Print out this article and then take one question at a time.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Truthfully, it hasn’t happened yet, but it could and is probably only a matter of time.
What I want to share with you today is some material I heard from a marriage coach on a TV show that I listened in on too late to get everything. She was talking about the 7 questions to ask yourselves when it comes to whether or not you are compatible.
I only got 5. But these five are still very important. Here they are:
1. Have I set my own separate identity? Do you have other friends and activities outside the relationship that give you a strong sense of self. Times have changed. It used to be that a woman married her husband and took on his identity and his dreams and goals. It’s vastly different these days.
2. Are your financial personalities compatible? How do you handle money? Is one of you a spender and the other a saver? How do you handle debt? Who pays the bills? All these are questions that should be answered early on.
3. What are your goals and your career aspirations? Do you both want children? Will someone stay home with them? Who? If the opportunity came up would you move somewhere else if you didn’t know anyone there?
4. What are your spiritual needs? What is the role of religion in your life?
5. Are your ideas of fun compatible? Does your partner like physical activities like backpacking and you would rather go to the movies? Is your partner a sportsaholic and you don’t care who is playing what or where or when? Does you partner like to engage in activities like golf but you aren’t interested.
That’s the end of my notes. I’m going to add two of my own. These are questions that I have my couples spend some time with at the seminars and when getting ready to write their own personal wedding or marriage or commitment.
6. What are your values? Values are more than not lying and cheating. Some of them you will have covered in the above questions. Here are a few to think about: money, sex, self acceptance, religion and spirituality, competition, community, extended family, team work, knwledge, loyalty, beauty, philanthropy, etc. On a score of 1-10, how do you rate the importance of each topic?
Here is a quote from the 10 Commandments of Marriage: Commandment #1-Honor Yourself- “When you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust other people, your partner, and the universe at large. it’s the basis for everything else that defines your life.” (Go to the wedding vow eBook page link and follow the link for a totally free copy of 10 Commandments or go to www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com )
7. What makes you come alive? What do you love? Here’s a quote by Howard Thurston, “Do not ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and then go out and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” When you are loving what you do then life is a whole lot easier.
A lot to chew on, isn’t it? Take it all a bite at a time. Print out this article and then take one question at a time.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-What We Can Learn From Political Speeches
I was thinking last night, after listening to the vice president candidate for the Republican Party, Sarah Palin, about how the format of electoral speeches is a bit like the format for writing wedding or marriage vows.
There seems to be three main parts to the speech.
1. Who am I, where did I come from and what do I stand for
2. What is the dream I’m trying to sell you on
3. This is what I’m willing to do to make that dream come true
Let’s see how this translates into the writing of your vows.
Let’s start with ‘who I am.’ You could write something like this: “I am the most lucky woman in the world to be marrying my soul mate, my love, the light of my life. You have added a dimension to my life that I cherish. With you I have dreamed bigger than I ever thought I could and believed in myself with more passion than ever before.”
Then the dream. I suggest that to get the most out of your vows you sit down together and talk about the life you want to live together. (I give you more guidelines and idea generators in my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
What are the elements that will make it an amazing life? What will it look like, feel like (as in a hand resting on your shoulder or holding hands), feel like (energy, passion, and comfort), taste like (late night spaghetti dinners by candlelight with wine after the kids are tucked tight in bed-if you want kids and have you talked about that?) sound like (lots of laughter, singing, encouraging conversation and affirmations), look like (where are you living, what are the ‘things’ that compliment your family). “We have created a dream that will give us the energy to keep striving for the best in ourselves and in each other. We have affirmed that we will seek to grow together, to keep our passion alive, to be models for our children and others and make a difference in the world.”
Next the promise. What are you willing to do to keep the dream alive? Some of the answer to this question has to do with your own sweet self. “I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.” “I will honor who I am by living from my values and my integrity and be impeccable with my word.”
“I will love you by always making our relationship a priority in my life.” “I will love you be encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.” “I will promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream we have crafted alive and growing.”
That should just about do it for today.
Except for this. Political speeches usually seem to be pointing fingers at others and throwing cold water on who they are and what they are offering. That is not an option in your life.
You life is about supporting each other, building each other up when there are times your partner doesn’t know who they are or whether they are even living up to their own expectations of themselves.
Your life is about sometimes seeing more than is visible and continuing to affirm that the dream is alive and well!
Keep living the dream. Follow the RSS feed to sign up to receive postings as they appear.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach-Helping couples ‘live the dream.’
“Email me. I want to know what you’re thinking.” RevLinda@weddingvowsandceremonies.com
There seems to be three main parts to the speech.
1. Who am I, where did I come from and what do I stand for
2. What is the dream I’m trying to sell you on
3. This is what I’m willing to do to make that dream come true
Let’s see how this translates into the writing of your vows.
Let’s start with ‘who I am.’ You could write something like this: “I am the most lucky woman in the world to be marrying my soul mate, my love, the light of my life. You have added a dimension to my life that I cherish. With you I have dreamed bigger than I ever thought I could and believed in myself with more passion than ever before.”
Then the dream. I suggest that to get the most out of your vows you sit down together and talk about the life you want to live together. (I give you more guidelines and idea generators in my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
What are the elements that will make it an amazing life? What will it look like, feel like (as in a hand resting on your shoulder or holding hands), feel like (energy, passion, and comfort), taste like (late night spaghetti dinners by candlelight with wine after the kids are tucked tight in bed-if you want kids and have you talked about that?) sound like (lots of laughter, singing, encouraging conversation and affirmations), look like (where are you living, what are the ‘things’ that compliment your family). “We have created a dream that will give us the energy to keep striving for the best in ourselves and in each other. We have affirmed that we will seek to grow together, to keep our passion alive, to be models for our children and others and make a difference in the world.”
Next the promise. What are you willing to do to keep the dream alive? Some of the answer to this question has to do with your own sweet self. “I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.” “I will honor who I am by living from my values and my integrity and be impeccable with my word.”
“I will love you by always making our relationship a priority in my life.” “I will love you be encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.” “I will promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream we have crafted alive and growing.”
That should just about do it for today.
Except for this. Political speeches usually seem to be pointing fingers at others and throwing cold water on who they are and what they are offering. That is not an option in your life.
You life is about supporting each other, building each other up when there are times your partner doesn’t know who they are or whether they are even living up to their own expectations of themselves.
Your life is about sometimes seeing more than is visible and continuing to affirm that the dream is alive and well!
Keep living the dream. Follow the RSS feed to sign up to receive postings as they appear.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach-Helping couples ‘live the dream.’
“Email me. I want to know what you’re thinking.” RevLinda@weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-Vow to Never Go to Bed Angry
One of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is to Never Go To Bed Angry. It’s a good line to add to your vows when writing your own vows. But the commandments are not the only resource to use that phrase.
I’ve been casually going through Wilfred Peterson’s poem, The Art of Marriage and today I want to talk about the line, “Never go to bed angry.”
I thought this idea was so important I put it into the 10 Commandments of Marriage. It’s #7. I’m going to move it up to #5 and follow it with ‘Do little things for each other.” and 8, “Go out on dates.” (You can get a free copy at my website) www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
The reason I’m moving it up in importance is that I realize that if you don’t clear the air before you go to sleep then it’s harder to do little things for each other the next day because there is a tension that interferes with your thinking.
That tension is there because if you go to bed with all those unresolved emotions that is what you sleep on. That is what you wake up to. You’ll probably not even read your vows as I have suggested you do every night.
Reading your vows every night is powerful but not a magic elixor if you ignore the tension between the two of you.
Make no bones about it, if you have unresolved issues between the two of you then you will not put your focus where it needs to be the next day. You will be caught in distraction that really could be dangerous. Or you miss opportunities.
But the worst of it is that whatever distance the situation caused will continue to grow wider and wider until it seems cavernous, like the Grand Canyon.
At some point you will begin to add other things and annoyances to the situation and even forget what the real problem was.
One of the reasons why I want you and your partner to write your vows together is for more than giving voice to a dream of your life together. It is to set in motion a remembered intimate situation that was totally nonthreatening.
Before you even get into bed resolve your differences.
Talking out your frustration, anger, sadness, or disappointment at night will save you time, energy and mistakes the next day.
Read more about vows, marriage, 'writing down the dream' and 'living the dream'at my website, www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com and www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples ‘write down the dream’ and then live it!
I’ve been casually going through Wilfred Peterson’s poem, The Art of Marriage and today I want to talk about the line, “Never go to bed angry.”
I thought this idea was so important I put it into the 10 Commandments of Marriage. It’s #7. I’m going to move it up to #5 and follow it with ‘Do little things for each other.” and 8, “Go out on dates.” (You can get a free copy at my website) www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
The reason I’m moving it up in importance is that I realize that if you don’t clear the air before you go to sleep then it’s harder to do little things for each other the next day because there is a tension that interferes with your thinking.
That tension is there because if you go to bed with all those unresolved emotions that is what you sleep on. That is what you wake up to. You’ll probably not even read your vows as I have suggested you do every night.
Reading your vows every night is powerful but not a magic elixor if you ignore the tension between the two of you.
Make no bones about it, if you have unresolved issues between the two of you then you will not put your focus where it needs to be the next day. You will be caught in distraction that really could be dangerous. Or you miss opportunities.
But the worst of it is that whatever distance the situation caused will continue to grow wider and wider until it seems cavernous, like the Grand Canyon.
At some point you will begin to add other things and annoyances to the situation and even forget what the real problem was.
One of the reasons why I want you and your partner to write your vows together is for more than giving voice to a dream of your life together. It is to set in motion a remembered intimate situation that was totally nonthreatening.
Before you even get into bed resolve your differences.
Talking out your frustration, anger, sadness, or disappointment at night will save you time, energy and mistakes the next day.
Read more about vows, marriage, 'writing down the dream' and 'living the dream'at my website, www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com and www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples ‘write down the dream’ and then live it!
Friday, August 29, 2008
When Writing Vows Keep in Mind You'll be Reviewing Them Over and Over
When you pledge your vows at your wedding ceremony you are not done with them. You are going to keep rereading them to pump the creative energy of the Universe into them and make them a Law of Attraction.
Keep that in mind when you write your personal wedding vows. I want you to put some substance into them. I want you to infuse them with a dream and a vivid vision for your marriage.
That means you are not going to write them just so they sound like some poet came to live with you for a week. Impressing your guests is the least of it. Because, when the ceremony is over no one is going to remember what you said.
Your vows are for the two of you. Period. If you write them together your vows reflect the dream you have for your lives and for your marriage.
“You remind me of the sun rising in the East on a clear morning,” may be poetic but it doesn’t MEAN ANYTHING!
Your vows have to mean something. They have to have some substance. They are the dream you have for your life together!
Because your marriage vows are the dream you have for your life together, you must write your vows together. Don’t go off into a dark corner and surprise your partner. Surprise is not good here. You want to literally be on the same page.
Sit down together and talk about the dream you have for yourself and your life together. First one of you shares the dream for your individual life apart from the marrriage. This is most likely your career. Then the other shares their dream. Then talk about the dream for your marriage. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, etc. Talk about sex, and money, and children, and religion or spirituality, about houses and cars, about travel, about philanthropy, and anything you can think about that will make up the reality and experience of the marriage.
(In my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages , I give you lots of help with this including a ‘living the dream’ workbook. www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
Talk about what you will each do to help the other achieve their dream and talk about what you will have to do to keep ‘living the dream.’
That’s the basis of your vows. It’s not the vows yet. But the essence.
Now put what you talked about into written vows.
“I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.”
“I vow to make our time together a priority in my life.”
“I promise to encourage your dreams and I promise to dream those dreams with you.”
“I promise never to go to bed angry.”
All these are great lines as long as you know what they mean.
Think BIG. Dream BIG. Live BIG!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘Live the Dream” at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Keep that in mind when you write your personal wedding vows. I want you to put some substance into them. I want you to infuse them with a dream and a vivid vision for your marriage.
That means you are not going to write them just so they sound like some poet came to live with you for a week. Impressing your guests is the least of it. Because, when the ceremony is over no one is going to remember what you said.
Your vows are for the two of you. Period. If you write them together your vows reflect the dream you have for your lives and for your marriage.
“You remind me of the sun rising in the East on a clear morning,” may be poetic but it doesn’t MEAN ANYTHING!
Your vows have to mean something. They have to have some substance. They are the dream you have for your life together!
Because your marriage vows are the dream you have for your life together, you must write your vows together. Don’t go off into a dark corner and surprise your partner. Surprise is not good here. You want to literally be on the same page.
Sit down together and talk about the dream you have for yourself and your life together. First one of you shares the dream for your individual life apart from the marrriage. This is most likely your career. Then the other shares their dream. Then talk about the dream for your marriage. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, etc. Talk about sex, and money, and children, and religion or spirituality, about houses and cars, about travel, about philanthropy, and anything you can think about that will make up the reality and experience of the marriage.
(In my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages , I give you lots of help with this including a ‘living the dream’ workbook. www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
Talk about what you will each do to help the other achieve their dream and talk about what you will have to do to keep ‘living the dream.’
That’s the basis of your vows. It’s not the vows yet. But the essence.
Now put what you talked about into written vows.
“I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.”
“I vow to make our time together a priority in my life.”
“I promise to encourage your dreams and I promise to dream those dreams with you.”
“I promise never to go to bed angry.”
All these are great lines as long as you know what they mean.
Think BIG. Dream BIG. Live BIG!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘Live the Dream” at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Writing Personal Wedding Vows-You are 99.9% Ahead of Everyone Else
I took the following from an Email from Joe Vitale. I felt it said very well what I have been trying to tell people about why you should write your own wedding or marriage vows.
He has a program he sells that he calls, Miracle Coaching, and he talks about the Law of Attraction, or Law of Cause and Effect. Or another way to put it is to say “You have to Decide.” You can check out his site at www.MrFire.com
“You are the masterpiece of your own life; you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is your life (your marriage).
What does that mean and why is it important to you?
It means that you do not have any limits as to what you can accomplish. You just need to have a plan and work it. But it is all up to you.
So now that you know what you would dare, what you would dare to be and what you would dare to have if there were no limits - you are ahead of 99.9% of people.
“What would you dare” is another way of saying that the two of you sculpt the form of your marriage the way you want. Not the way anyone in your family lived. Not how anyone on TV lives. Of course there are some good role models you want to look at for what they have to teach you , but your dream is your dream!
Now you need to simply put together a plan to get here. Believe me when I say this is not rocket science. In fact, you may be surprised at it simplicity.
What can you dare? How big can you dream? That’s the simple part.
But, Rev. Linda, we have to face reality.
No, never. Make your own! That is what you do when you write your wedding vows together and infuse them with your dreams.
That dream is your PLAN. That dream written into your personal wedding vows is your P LAN! You will have infused it with your imagination, creativity and energy. That plan takes on a life of its own and goes to work immediately to bring you the sculpting tools, the ideas, the experiences that manifest as your amazing marriage and partnership.
I give you everything you need in order to begin to think ‘big’ and dare to dream a big dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages. Follow this link or the one on the right–wedding vows- www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Why don’t you sign up to receive new postings as I write them. Follow the RSS feed.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘write the dream’ and then go and ‘live it.’
RSS Trackback URL 27. August 2008 (14:29)
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He has a program he sells that he calls, Miracle Coaching, and he talks about the Law of Attraction, or Law of Cause and Effect. Or another way to put it is to say “You have to Decide.” You can check out his site at www.MrFire.com
“You are the masterpiece of your own life; you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is your life (your marriage).
What does that mean and why is it important to you?
It means that you do not have any limits as to what you can accomplish. You just need to have a plan and work it. But it is all up to you.
So now that you know what you would dare, what you would dare to be and what you would dare to have if there were no limits - you are ahead of 99.9% of people.
“What would you dare” is another way of saying that the two of you sculpt the form of your marriage the way you want. Not the way anyone in your family lived. Not how anyone on TV lives. Of course there are some good role models you want to look at for what they have to teach you , but your dream is your dream!
Now you need to simply put together a plan to get here. Believe me when I say this is not rocket science. In fact, you may be surprised at it simplicity.
What can you dare? How big can you dream? That’s the simple part.
But, Rev. Linda, we have to face reality.
No, never. Make your own! That is what you do when you write your wedding vows together and infuse them with your dreams.
That dream is your PLAN. That dream written into your personal wedding vows is your P LAN! You will have infused it with your imagination, creativity and energy. That plan takes on a life of its own and goes to work immediately to bring you the sculpting tools, the ideas, the experiences that manifest as your amazing marriage and partnership.
I give you everything you need in order to begin to think ‘big’ and dare to dream a big dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages. Follow this link or the one on the right–wedding vows- www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Why don’t you sign up to receive new postings as I write them. Follow the RSS feed.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘write the dream’ and then go and ‘live it.’
RSS Trackback URL 27. August 2008 (14:29)
Filed under: General
Write a Comment
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