A primary part of my philosophy about writing wedding and commitment vows is that when you are talking about, writing about, pledging, thinking, etc., (7 tools of creation) you are creating a pathway that can be recreated every time you reread your vows.
This is mental science stuff.
In other words, it’s proven! Science has done tests and tests and experiments up one side and down the other.
Now, that is really good news for you. Here’s why.
MRIs reveal that doing something good, like making a donation, or doing something for someone else activates the brain’s reward center–giving you a boost of dopamine, which is a natural drug that makes you feel good.
So, when you help others, the primitve part of your brain lights up to experience pleasure.
OH, boy, don’t you love it.
What’s that got to do with writing wedding or commitment vows, you ask?
Just this. When you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your life and the dream you have for your marriage, then listen to your partner tell you what it he or she needs you to do to help him or her achieve that dream, you get into a schmushy, mushy, feel-good place.
You have already given before you actually ‘do’ anything. You get that dopamine flowing.
Then, when you reread those vows (remember, your vows are the promises of what you are going to do to keep your relationship and marriage alive and thriving) you go back in time, and once again feel all warm and fuzzy.
This is just one more reason why writing your own vows are so important.
If you haven’t already written your vows go on over to the main web page and pick up a copy of the Secret Ebook. You can do this anytime, even after the ceremony.
Get into the feeling of the dream you have for your life, the life of your partner, and the life of your marriage, get high on expectation and delight, and set a tone, a ’scientific feel-good pattern.’ Then keep it alive.
Dopamine is about feeling personally powerful (as in ‘I can do anything!), connecting to your partner on a heart level, and an intimate level and keeping the dream going and going and going.
Here’s a link to the main web site where you’ll find the 2 for $2 offer.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow and Life Vow Coach
PS: Don’t forget to sign up for the RSS feed to stay on top of new articles.
Helping people live life to the fullest!
Tags: commitment vows, dopamine, life vows, vows, wedding vows
Showing posts with label law of attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label law of attraction. Show all posts
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--Keeping the 'High Watch'
Writing wedding or commitment vows is the opportunity each of you have to talk about the highest and best intentions that you can imagine for yourself and for your partner.
Your vows are the place where you promise to support yourself and your partner in becoming the highest and best each of you can be.
The first of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is Honor Yourself. The second commandment is Honor Each Other.
It may seem strange that the first commandment is about yourself. Yet if you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust each other absolutely.
This trust is the basis for everything else that defines your life and your marriage.
Write this in your wedding vows: “I promise to hold myself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise my values.”
When you stay ‘high’ from living out of your core values and practice doing what makes you come alive, you have more patience, more love, more compassion for everyone including your partner
Here’s a priceless quote from Marianne Williamson:
“Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to support another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives. They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves.”
You are meant to access the highest parts of who you are and in the process learn to see the best in your partner.
Constantly strive to expand your capacities for learning, playing, loving, trusting, praying (whatever that means to you) and playing.
The strongest relationship develops when each partner can hold the ‘high watch’ for the other.
This means that when your partner has forgotten who they are, where they are, what they are doing, or where they are going, you remember for them.
You continue to treat them as though they were still present in their fullness.
You continue to see the best in them.
You practice forgiveness!
This may not be easy to do. That’s why it’s important to keep reading your vows over and over and over again.
Every day affirm that you are awake, aware, and living your highest and greatest good.
Write this in your vows and then put it on a card in the present moment so you have to look at it every morning:
“Everyday I will remember to live my life from the highest perspective I can imagine.”
It helps you remember every day who you are, who your partner is, where you are going and how to recognize when you are off the path.
Can you see what an amazing tool writing your own wedding or commitment vows can be? They are your compass, your map, and your course correction.
Look and read them often and you will never get lost; you will be able to continue to see the best in yourself, and the best in your partner.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows and how to keep living the dream! You can read more at www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com.
Be sure to download a copy of the FREE ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I originally wrote this for people who show up at the web site looking for help but they have only a few days or minutes to write their vows. The phrases, words, poems and other materials are helpful to everyone. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Your vows are the place where you promise to support yourself and your partner in becoming the highest and best each of you can be.
The first of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is Honor Yourself. The second commandment is Honor Each Other.
It may seem strange that the first commandment is about yourself. Yet if you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust each other absolutely.
This trust is the basis for everything else that defines your life and your marriage.
Write this in your wedding vows: “I promise to hold myself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise my values.”
When you stay ‘high’ from living out of your core values and practice doing what makes you come alive, you have more patience, more love, more compassion for everyone including your partner
Here’s a priceless quote from Marianne Williamson:
“Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to support another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives. They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves.”
You are meant to access the highest parts of who you are and in the process learn to see the best in your partner.
Constantly strive to expand your capacities for learning, playing, loving, trusting, praying (whatever that means to you) and playing.
The strongest relationship develops when each partner can hold the ‘high watch’ for the other.
This means that when your partner has forgotten who they are, where they are, what they are doing, or where they are going, you remember for them.
You continue to treat them as though they were still present in their fullness.
You continue to see the best in them.
You practice forgiveness!
This may not be easy to do. That’s why it’s important to keep reading your vows over and over and over again.
Every day affirm that you are awake, aware, and living your highest and greatest good.
Write this in your vows and then put it on a card in the present moment so you have to look at it every morning:
“Everyday I will remember to live my life from the highest perspective I can imagine.”
It helps you remember every day who you are, who your partner is, where you are going and how to recognize when you are off the path.
Can you see what an amazing tool writing your own wedding or commitment vows can be? They are your compass, your map, and your course correction.
Look and read them often and you will never get lost; you will be able to continue to see the best in yourself, and the best in your partner.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows and how to keep living the dream! You can read more at www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com.
Be sure to download a copy of the FREE ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I originally wrote this for people who show up at the web site looking for help but they have only a few days or minutes to write their vows. The phrases, words, poems and other materials are helpful to everyone. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Monday, October 27, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--"Jumping the Shark"
When you write your unique wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation infusing a dream into them and promising what you will do to keep that dream alive, you are ‘jumping the shark.’
‘Jumping the shark,’ is a phrase that came as a result of an old Fonzie episode on TV.
It’s accepted meaning is to do something radical and unusual to get back on course. But there are negative connotations also. Some definitions would say that it’s all over ‘when the Fonz has jumped.”
However, what those descriptions do not seem to take into account is that after that episode where the Fonz actually jumped on water skies over a shark contained in an enclosure, the show went on to produce 100 more episodes!
I want you to ‘jump the shark’ even before a jump is needed.
I want you to get very clear about the dream you have for your marriage. (That’s the core of my philosophy.) But I also want you to talk about an experience that sooner or later is going to come up in your marriage:
You are going to find yourself going off course . . .
You are going to realize that your relationship is in danger of becoming mediocre . . .
You will realize that your relationship needs an infusion of intimacy, energy, laughter, and conversation.
Take all this into account when you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your marriage. Be honest with each other that sooner or later your relationship is going to need a little reinvigoration; that you are going to need to give it a little boost.
I am suggesting that you to ‘jump the shark’ now and build that course correction into the writing your wedding vows.
“But, Rev. Linda,” you say. “We are so madly in love. That’s not going to change!”
I want remind you that divorce statistics prove otherwise: Fifty percent of 1st time marriages will end within 4 years.
Somehow those couples who were madly and gladly in love fell sadly and madly out of love!
If you spend some time up front that won’t happen to you. Here’s what I want you to do:
* Write your wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation.
* Talk about the dream you have for your life together.
* Be honest that the dream you gave voice to will sometimes get a little flat and the core values you established may be compromised.
* Promise to be the first to take the initiative to get things back on course.
* Write that promise into your vows: “I promise that I will be mindful our our promises to each other and take the initiative if I realize that things are not measuring up to our standards.”
* Reread your vows every day even after the ceremony. This keeps the dream and the promises right in front of you. You will be more able to recognize when things are veering off course.
What you want to do is to ‘jump the shark’ before there’s even a shark to jump. Having fun and being intimate on an ongoing basis will help you keep your dream alive and thriving.
* Make love on the kitchen floor!
* Go out for a long walk.
* Hold hands for 1 minute every day.
* Take a ’sleepover’ trip even if it is only for one night in a hotel close to home.
* I had a friend who wrapped herself in saran wrap and waited at the front door with a scissors in her hand!
* This same friend had a picnic on the living room floor in winter complete with bathing suits and an ant farm.
By writing your own vows, reviewing those vows, taking time to have fun and talk, your marriage or partnership will continue to so strong that there will be no fish big enough to need jumping!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows. See more on her web site and pick up the FREE Ebook and the totally original, 10 Commandments of Marriage.www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
‘Jumping the shark,’ is a phrase that came as a result of an old Fonzie episode on TV.
It’s accepted meaning is to do something radical and unusual to get back on course. But there are negative connotations also. Some definitions would say that it’s all over ‘when the Fonz has jumped.”
However, what those descriptions do not seem to take into account is that after that episode where the Fonz actually jumped on water skies over a shark contained in an enclosure, the show went on to produce 100 more episodes!
I want you to ‘jump the shark’ even before a jump is needed.
I want you to get very clear about the dream you have for your marriage. (That’s the core of my philosophy.) But I also want you to talk about an experience that sooner or later is going to come up in your marriage:
You are going to find yourself going off course . . .
You are going to realize that your relationship is in danger of becoming mediocre . . .
You will realize that your relationship needs an infusion of intimacy, energy, laughter, and conversation.
Take all this into account when you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your marriage. Be honest with each other that sooner or later your relationship is going to need a little reinvigoration; that you are going to need to give it a little boost.
I am suggesting that you to ‘jump the shark’ now and build that course correction into the writing your wedding vows.
“But, Rev. Linda,” you say. “We are so madly in love. That’s not going to change!”
I want remind you that divorce statistics prove otherwise: Fifty percent of 1st time marriages will end within 4 years.
Somehow those couples who were madly and gladly in love fell sadly and madly out of love!
If you spend some time up front that won’t happen to you. Here’s what I want you to do:
* Write your wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation.
* Talk about the dream you have for your life together.
* Be honest that the dream you gave voice to will sometimes get a little flat and the core values you established may be compromised.
* Promise to be the first to take the initiative to get things back on course.
* Write that promise into your vows: “I promise that I will be mindful our our promises to each other and take the initiative if I realize that things are not measuring up to our standards.”
* Reread your vows every day even after the ceremony. This keeps the dream and the promises right in front of you. You will be more able to recognize when things are veering off course.
What you want to do is to ‘jump the shark’ before there’s even a shark to jump. Having fun and being intimate on an ongoing basis will help you keep your dream alive and thriving.
* Make love on the kitchen floor!
* Go out for a long walk.
* Hold hands for 1 minute every day.
* Take a ’sleepover’ trip even if it is only for one night in a hotel close to home.
* I had a friend who wrapped herself in saran wrap and waited at the front door with a scissors in her hand!
* This same friend had a picnic on the living room floor in winter complete with bathing suits and an ant farm.
By writing your own vows, reviewing those vows, taking time to have fun and talk, your marriage or partnership will continue to so strong that there will be no fish big enough to need jumping!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows. See more on her web site and pick up the FREE Ebook and the totally original, 10 Commandments of Marriage.www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-The Sneaky Approach
Getting your partner to agree to and participate in writing wedding or commitment vows might seem like a stretch of your imagination but I can give you a way to make writing your vows fun and he/she won’t even know that you are doing it until it’s too late to turn back.
This may be a bit sneaky and shameless but considering that writing your wedding vows can be one of the most important things you can ever to do to ensure the longevity, passion and intimacy of your relationship, I know you want to do everything you can to get this into motion.
Here’s what you are going to do. You and your partner are going to create a vision board!
This is just one of the idea generators you can find in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages.
A vision board is where you paste pictures and phrases that represent the dreams and goals you each have for yourselves and the dream you have for your marriage. Your vows will reflect those dreams. Maybe we could call your marriage or commitment vows ‘vision vows!’
Because that’s really what your vows are. The more energy in your vows, the more power there is to attract to you everything that you want and need to support your perfect dream.
Start collecting magazines on all sorts of subjects including travel, houses, furniture, family, fitness, etc. Make sure that you have the sort of print media that your partner is interested in. You should know him or her well enough to get the perfect stuff.
You can go to Google and click on ‘Images’ then keyword in what you are looking for, find something you can print out and you have instant images of your life together. Maybe you have phrases in mind. You can print out these also.
Ask your friends for magazines. If you are in a dentist or doctor’s office and the magazines are really old ask if you can have the one that you want.
Get together pictures taken of the two of you doing fun things and pictures that represent the emotional and physical closeness that is the cornerstone of a relationship and marriage.
You will need glue and scissors and poster board or foam board (for longevity). The pictures and words will represent aspects of your life.
Don’t get too bossy or direct the outcome. Just tell your partner that the two of you are going to cut out and glue pictures and words that represent what it is that you want to attract into your life and let the process unfold. Have fun. Don’t be too serious.
When you have finished the board each of you explain to the other the meaning of the pictures and phrases. Between the two of you most subjects will be covered.
Here’s where some of the sneaky stuff comes in. When your partner talks about the meaning of the images and words on the board ask questions to get to the heart of the overall dream for the marriage.
“What does that mean to you? How do you see ‘us’ in that picture?”
“What do you think we can do to make that happen?”
“There are no children in the picture. Don’t you want children?”
“Who will handle the money? How can we share this responsibility so that we are saving to be able to have what we want?”
That will give you some idea. You can come up with your own.
What I am asking you to do is to get to the essence of the dream for your life together.
That dream is what you build into your vows. You wedding vows are not the dream explained; they are the foundation that the vows are build on.
Your vows are for the purpose of making promises to each other explaining what you will do to support the dream.
Now it’s time to tell your partner what you have done.
Use reason here. Don’t get cocky and say something like, “Ha, Ha, I tricked you into telling me your secrets.”
Tell him or her that you want to write vows based around what you just talked about. Get out some paper and then begin to write down those promises. If you can do it right then and there that is best because the emotion and expectations of and for the dream are at their peak.
Here is what you can say: “Let’s write down what we are going to do to keep our dreams alive?”
“I promise to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy for both our sakes.”
“I will love you by encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.”
“I promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream alive and active.”
You can find more helpful phrases in the FREE Ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I wrote this for couples who don’t have time to use my longer version. It would be helpful for you using this ‘vision board’ process.
There you have it. Your ‘vision vows.’
Was that fun or what!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
This may be a bit sneaky and shameless but considering that writing your wedding vows can be one of the most important things you can ever to do to ensure the longevity, passion and intimacy of your relationship, I know you want to do everything you can to get this into motion.
Here’s what you are going to do. You and your partner are going to create a vision board!
This is just one of the idea generators you can find in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages.
A vision board is where you paste pictures and phrases that represent the dreams and goals you each have for yourselves and the dream you have for your marriage. Your vows will reflect those dreams. Maybe we could call your marriage or commitment vows ‘vision vows!’
Because that’s really what your vows are. The more energy in your vows, the more power there is to attract to you everything that you want and need to support your perfect dream.
Start collecting magazines on all sorts of subjects including travel, houses, furniture, family, fitness, etc. Make sure that you have the sort of print media that your partner is interested in. You should know him or her well enough to get the perfect stuff.
You can go to Google and click on ‘Images’ then keyword in what you are looking for, find something you can print out and you have instant images of your life together. Maybe you have phrases in mind. You can print out these also.
Ask your friends for magazines. If you are in a dentist or doctor’s office and the magazines are really old ask if you can have the one that you want.
Get together pictures taken of the two of you doing fun things and pictures that represent the emotional and physical closeness that is the cornerstone of a relationship and marriage.
You will need glue and scissors and poster board or foam board (for longevity). The pictures and words will represent aspects of your life.
Don’t get too bossy or direct the outcome. Just tell your partner that the two of you are going to cut out and glue pictures and words that represent what it is that you want to attract into your life and let the process unfold. Have fun. Don’t be too serious.
When you have finished the board each of you explain to the other the meaning of the pictures and phrases. Between the two of you most subjects will be covered.
Here’s where some of the sneaky stuff comes in. When your partner talks about the meaning of the images and words on the board ask questions to get to the heart of the overall dream for the marriage.
“What does that mean to you? How do you see ‘us’ in that picture?”
“What do you think we can do to make that happen?”
“There are no children in the picture. Don’t you want children?”
“Who will handle the money? How can we share this responsibility so that we are saving to be able to have what we want?”
That will give you some idea. You can come up with your own.
What I am asking you to do is to get to the essence of the dream for your life together.
That dream is what you build into your vows. You wedding vows are not the dream explained; they are the foundation that the vows are build on.
Your vows are for the purpose of making promises to each other explaining what you will do to support the dream.
Now it’s time to tell your partner what you have done.
Use reason here. Don’t get cocky and say something like, “Ha, Ha, I tricked you into telling me your secrets.”
Tell him or her that you want to write vows based around what you just talked about. Get out some paper and then begin to write down those promises. If you can do it right then and there that is best because the emotion and expectations of and for the dream are at their peak.
Here is what you can say: “Let’s write down what we are going to do to keep our dreams alive?”
“I promise to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy for both our sakes.”
“I will love you by encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.”
“I promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream alive and active.”
You can find more helpful phrases in the FREE Ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I wrote this for couples who don’t have time to use my longer version. It would be helpful for you using this ‘vision board’ process.
There you have it. Your ‘vision vows.’
Was that fun or what!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows–Tap Into the Sizzle of the Universe
The time around your wedding or commitment ceremony and the writing of your personal vows is the most highly charged time you will ever experience as a couple and you can consciously use it.
What happens is that there is all this energy and creative excitement focused around you and You and YOU! The florist, the caterer, the cake maker, the wedding planner, the wedding attire people, your family, the guests, absolutely everyone is focused on your best life.
This creates an energy that sizzles like an electrical storm. It’s the entire world praying on your behalf with absolutely no doubt of the outcome. Whatever you introduce into this storm is what will get taken up and reproduced in magical and mystical ways. I want you to consciously tap into this spiritual or universal potential. I want you to create strong, powerful personal wedding vows.
Those vows are like a super strong magnet. They become synergistic. That means that 1 + 1 does not equal 2 it equals 11!
There will only be a few times in your life as a couple that will carry the same positive attention and energy of so many people. This highly charged energy can be consciously directed to create a powerful future.
The power and potential that I am talking about comes from sitting down and having a shared conversation about what is important: To the marriage and to each of you individually. Do not go off into corners to write vows and surprise each other. I want you to weave magic by creating a strong and powerful intention and that has to be done together!
When you are mindful about what it is that you want to experience in your relationship and marriage, talk it out, play with it, shape it a bit, and write it into your vows. When you do that your vows become a powerful blueprint or intention for the future. You literally explode the probability of that dream being true.
Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is true and what isn’t–science has proven this–your mind and Higher Power goes to work bringing in people, things and experiences that support those powerful desires.
Please . . . do not squander this time.
Write powerful wedding or commitment vows. Dream BIG. Give the Universe something splendid to unfold for you. It’s just waiting for you to choose.
I can help you do that with my guidelines for writing ‘vows that create powerful marriages.” Check out the Secret Life of Wedding Vows.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
What happens is that there is all this energy and creative excitement focused around you and You and YOU! The florist, the caterer, the cake maker, the wedding planner, the wedding attire people, your family, the guests, absolutely everyone is focused on your best life.
This creates an energy that sizzles like an electrical storm. It’s the entire world praying on your behalf with absolutely no doubt of the outcome. Whatever you introduce into this storm is what will get taken up and reproduced in magical and mystical ways. I want you to consciously tap into this spiritual or universal potential. I want you to create strong, powerful personal wedding vows.
Those vows are like a super strong magnet. They become synergistic. That means that 1 + 1 does not equal 2 it equals 11!
There will only be a few times in your life as a couple that will carry the same positive attention and energy of so many people. This highly charged energy can be consciously directed to create a powerful future.
The power and potential that I am talking about comes from sitting down and having a shared conversation about what is important: To the marriage and to each of you individually. Do not go off into corners to write vows and surprise each other. I want you to weave magic by creating a strong and powerful intention and that has to be done together!
When you are mindful about what it is that you want to experience in your relationship and marriage, talk it out, play with it, shape it a bit, and write it into your vows. When you do that your vows become a powerful blueprint or intention for the future. You literally explode the probability of that dream being true.
Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is true and what isn’t–science has proven this–your mind and Higher Power goes to work bringing in people, things and experiences that support those powerful desires.
Please . . . do not squander this time.
Write powerful wedding or commitment vows. Dream BIG. Give the Universe something splendid to unfold for you. It’s just waiting for you to choose.
I can help you do that with my guidelines for writing ‘vows that create powerful marriages.” Check out the Secret Life of Wedding Vows.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
Friday, August 29, 2008
When Writing Vows Keep in Mind You'll be Reviewing Them Over and Over
When you pledge your vows at your wedding ceremony you are not done with them. You are going to keep rereading them to pump the creative energy of the Universe into them and make them a Law of Attraction.
Keep that in mind when you write your personal wedding vows. I want you to put some substance into them. I want you to infuse them with a dream and a vivid vision for your marriage.
That means you are not going to write them just so they sound like some poet came to live with you for a week. Impressing your guests is the least of it. Because, when the ceremony is over no one is going to remember what you said.
Your vows are for the two of you. Period. If you write them together your vows reflect the dream you have for your lives and for your marriage.
“You remind me of the sun rising in the East on a clear morning,” may be poetic but it doesn’t MEAN ANYTHING!
Your vows have to mean something. They have to have some substance. They are the dream you have for your life together!
Because your marriage vows are the dream you have for your life together, you must write your vows together. Don’t go off into a dark corner and surprise your partner. Surprise is not good here. You want to literally be on the same page.
Sit down together and talk about the dream you have for yourself and your life together. First one of you shares the dream for your individual life apart from the marrriage. This is most likely your career. Then the other shares their dream. Then talk about the dream for your marriage. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, etc. Talk about sex, and money, and children, and religion or spirituality, about houses and cars, about travel, about philanthropy, and anything you can think about that will make up the reality and experience of the marriage.
(In my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages , I give you lots of help with this including a ‘living the dream’ workbook. www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
Talk about what you will each do to help the other achieve their dream and talk about what you will have to do to keep ‘living the dream.’
That’s the basis of your vows. It’s not the vows yet. But the essence.
Now put what you talked about into written vows.
“I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.”
“I vow to make our time together a priority in my life.”
“I promise to encourage your dreams and I promise to dream those dreams with you.”
“I promise never to go to bed angry.”
All these are great lines as long as you know what they mean.
Think BIG. Dream BIG. Live BIG!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘Live the Dream” at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Keep that in mind when you write your personal wedding vows. I want you to put some substance into them. I want you to infuse them with a dream and a vivid vision for your marriage.
That means you are not going to write them just so they sound like some poet came to live with you for a week. Impressing your guests is the least of it. Because, when the ceremony is over no one is going to remember what you said.
Your vows are for the two of you. Period. If you write them together your vows reflect the dream you have for your lives and for your marriage.
“You remind me of the sun rising in the East on a clear morning,” may be poetic but it doesn’t MEAN ANYTHING!
Your vows have to mean something. They have to have some substance. They are the dream you have for your life together!
Because your marriage vows are the dream you have for your life together, you must write your vows together. Don’t go off into a dark corner and surprise your partner. Surprise is not good here. You want to literally be on the same page.
Sit down together and talk about the dream you have for yourself and your life together. First one of you shares the dream for your individual life apart from the marrriage. This is most likely your career. Then the other shares their dream. Then talk about the dream for your marriage. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, etc. Talk about sex, and money, and children, and religion or spirituality, about houses and cars, about travel, about philanthropy, and anything you can think about that will make up the reality and experience of the marriage.
(In my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages , I give you lots of help with this including a ‘living the dream’ workbook. www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
Talk about what you will each do to help the other achieve their dream and talk about what you will have to do to keep ‘living the dream.’
That’s the basis of your vows. It’s not the vows yet. But the essence.
Now put what you talked about into written vows.
“I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.”
“I vow to make our time together a priority in my life.”
“I promise to encourage your dreams and I promise to dream those dreams with you.”
“I promise never to go to bed angry.”
All these are great lines as long as you know what they mean.
Think BIG. Dream BIG. Live BIG!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘Live the Dream” at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
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