Wedding Vows-The Little Things are the Big Things

In my wedding ceremonies, before we get to the wedding vows, I talk about the empty box (metaphor for the marriage or partnership) and relate it to a bank account.

This is from one of my wedding ceremonies.

"Binding two people in a spiritual atmosphere of love and trust is what makes this union a marriage. It is indeed a meeting and melding of hearts and lives. That love and trust is sort of like the ribbon that holds the two parts of a gift box together."

And, indeed, marriage is like a box. In order to take anything out of it you must first put something into it.

Another way of putting it is that this box is a kind of spiritual bank account.

Put love, joy, appreciation, compassion and support into the box and it will multiply so that when you need it there is something there to sustain you.

You can’t go to the bank and ask for money if you don’t have anything in your account. You can try but you’re not going to get anything.

It’s the same way with a marriage. If you haven’t put any energy, attention into the marriage, even in little ways, it won’t hold together when there are difficulties or challenges.

Here’s a little more from that ceremony:

Try to fall more head over heels in love with each other every day. Look for even the smallest thing to be grateful and excited about.

Every night before you go to bed and every morning find one thing to be grateful for and tell each other.

One of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is, “Do little things for each other.” All those little things, actions, words, and even thoughts all add up and like money, compound.

Find a way to add a few words to your wedding vows. Here is a suggestion: “I will remember to appreciate you in thought, word and deed, every day and support our marriage by not taking you for granted.”

Leave notes, say ‘thank you,’ ask what you can do to help, touch each other easily and often, say ‘I love you,’ for no reason at all.

Big expressions of love and attention are wonderful but in the long run it’s the little things that build up trust the most.

Just be natural and have fun.

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda