Writing wedding or commitment vows is the opportunity each of you have to talk about the highest and best intentions that you can imagine for yourself and for your partner.
Your vows are the place where you promise to support yourself and your partner in becoming the highest and best each of you can be.
The first of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is Honor Yourself. The second commandment is Honor Each Other.
It may seem strange that the first commandment is about yourself. Yet if you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust each other absolutely.
This trust is the basis for everything else that defines your life and your marriage.
Write this in your wedding vows: “I promise to hold myself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise my values.”
When you stay ‘high’ from living out of your core values and practice doing what makes you come alive, you have more patience, more love, more compassion for everyone including your partner
Here’s a priceless quote from Marianne Williamson:
“Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to support another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives. They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves.”
You are meant to access the highest parts of who you are and in the process learn to see the best in your partner.
Constantly strive to expand your capacities for learning, playing, loving, trusting, praying (whatever that means to you) and playing.
The strongest relationship develops when each partner can hold the ‘high watch’ for the other.
This means that when your partner has forgotten who they are, where they are, what they are doing, or where they are going, you remember for them.
You continue to treat them as though they were still present in their fullness.
You continue to see the best in them.
You practice forgiveness!
This may not be easy to do. That’s why it’s important to keep reading your vows over and over and over again.
Every day affirm that you are awake, aware, and living your highest and greatest good.
Write this in your vows and then put it on a card in the present moment so you have to look at it every morning:
“Everyday I will remember to live my life from the highest perspective I can imagine.”
It helps you remember every day who you are, who your partner is, where you are going and how to recognize when you are off the path.
Can you see what an amazing tool writing your own wedding or commitment vows can be? They are your compass, your map, and your course correction.
Look and read them often and you will never get lost; you will be able to continue to see the best in yourself, and the best in your partner.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows and how to keep living the dream! You can read more at www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com.
Be sure to download a copy of the FREE ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I originally wrote this for people who show up at the web site looking for help but they have only a few days or minutes to write their vows. The phrases, words, poems and other materials are helpful to everyone. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--"Jumping the Shark"
When you write your unique wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation infusing a dream into them and promising what you will do to keep that dream alive, you are ‘jumping the shark.’
‘Jumping the shark,’ is a phrase that came as a result of an old Fonzie episode on TV.
It’s accepted meaning is to do something radical and unusual to get back on course. But there are negative connotations also. Some definitions would say that it’s all over ‘when the Fonz has jumped.”
However, what those descriptions do not seem to take into account is that after that episode where the Fonz actually jumped on water skies over a shark contained in an enclosure, the show went on to produce 100 more episodes!
I want you to ‘jump the shark’ even before a jump is needed.
I want you to get very clear about the dream you have for your marriage. (That’s the core of my philosophy.) But I also want you to talk about an experience that sooner or later is going to come up in your marriage:
You are going to find yourself going off course . . .
You are going to realize that your relationship is in danger of becoming mediocre . . .
You will realize that your relationship needs an infusion of intimacy, energy, laughter, and conversation.
Take all this into account when you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your marriage. Be honest with each other that sooner or later your relationship is going to need a little reinvigoration; that you are going to need to give it a little boost.
I am suggesting that you to ‘jump the shark’ now and build that course correction into the writing your wedding vows.
“But, Rev. Linda,” you say. “We are so madly in love. That’s not going to change!”
I want remind you that divorce statistics prove otherwise: Fifty percent of 1st time marriages will end within 4 years.
Somehow those couples who were madly and gladly in love fell sadly and madly out of love!
If you spend some time up front that won’t happen to you. Here’s what I want you to do:
* Write your wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation.
* Talk about the dream you have for your life together.
* Be honest that the dream you gave voice to will sometimes get a little flat and the core values you established may be compromised.
* Promise to be the first to take the initiative to get things back on course.
* Write that promise into your vows: “I promise that I will be mindful our our promises to each other and take the initiative if I realize that things are not measuring up to our standards.”
* Reread your vows every day even after the ceremony. This keeps the dream and the promises right in front of you. You will be more able to recognize when things are veering off course.
What you want to do is to ‘jump the shark’ before there’s even a shark to jump. Having fun and being intimate on an ongoing basis will help you keep your dream alive and thriving.
* Make love on the kitchen floor!
* Go out for a long walk.
* Hold hands for 1 minute every day.
* Take a ’sleepover’ trip even if it is only for one night in a hotel close to home.
* I had a friend who wrapped herself in saran wrap and waited at the front door with a scissors in her hand!
* This same friend had a picnic on the living room floor in winter complete with bathing suits and an ant farm.
By writing your own vows, reviewing those vows, taking time to have fun and talk, your marriage or partnership will continue to so strong that there will be no fish big enough to need jumping!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows. See more on her web site and pick up the FREE Ebook and the totally original, 10 Commandments of Marriage.www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
‘Jumping the shark,’ is a phrase that came as a result of an old Fonzie episode on TV.
It’s accepted meaning is to do something radical and unusual to get back on course. But there are negative connotations also. Some definitions would say that it’s all over ‘when the Fonz has jumped.”
However, what those descriptions do not seem to take into account is that after that episode where the Fonz actually jumped on water skies over a shark contained in an enclosure, the show went on to produce 100 more episodes!
I want you to ‘jump the shark’ even before a jump is needed.
I want you to get very clear about the dream you have for your marriage. (That’s the core of my philosophy.) But I also want you to talk about an experience that sooner or later is going to come up in your marriage:
You are going to find yourself going off course . . .
You are going to realize that your relationship is in danger of becoming mediocre . . .
You will realize that your relationship needs an infusion of intimacy, energy, laughter, and conversation.
Take all this into account when you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your marriage. Be honest with each other that sooner or later your relationship is going to need a little reinvigoration; that you are going to need to give it a little boost.
I am suggesting that you to ‘jump the shark’ now and build that course correction into the writing your wedding vows.
“But, Rev. Linda,” you say. “We are so madly in love. That’s not going to change!”
I want remind you that divorce statistics prove otherwise: Fifty percent of 1st time marriages will end within 4 years.
Somehow those couples who were madly and gladly in love fell sadly and madly out of love!
If you spend some time up front that won’t happen to you. Here’s what I want you to do:
* Write your wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation.
* Talk about the dream you have for your life together.
* Be honest that the dream you gave voice to will sometimes get a little flat and the core values you established may be compromised.
* Promise to be the first to take the initiative to get things back on course.
* Write that promise into your vows: “I promise that I will be mindful our our promises to each other and take the initiative if I realize that things are not measuring up to our standards.”
* Reread your vows every day even after the ceremony. This keeps the dream and the promises right in front of you. You will be more able to recognize when things are veering off course.
What you want to do is to ‘jump the shark’ before there’s even a shark to jump. Having fun and being intimate on an ongoing basis will help you keep your dream alive and thriving.
* Make love on the kitchen floor!
* Go out for a long walk.
* Hold hands for 1 minute every day.
* Take a ’sleepover’ trip even if it is only for one night in a hotel close to home.
* I had a friend who wrapped herself in saran wrap and waited at the front door with a scissors in her hand!
* This same friend had a picnic on the living room floor in winter complete with bathing suits and an ant farm.
By writing your own vows, reviewing those vows, taking time to have fun and talk, your marriage or partnership will continue to so strong that there will be no fish big enough to need jumping!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows. See more on her web site and pick up the FREE Ebook and the totally original, 10 Commandments of Marriage.www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-The Sneaky Approach
Getting your partner to agree to and participate in writing wedding or commitment vows might seem like a stretch of your imagination but I can give you a way to make writing your vows fun and he/she won’t even know that you are doing it until it’s too late to turn back.
This may be a bit sneaky and shameless but considering that writing your wedding vows can be one of the most important things you can ever to do to ensure the longevity, passion and intimacy of your relationship, I know you want to do everything you can to get this into motion.
Here’s what you are going to do. You and your partner are going to create a vision board!
This is just one of the idea generators you can find in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages.
A vision board is where you paste pictures and phrases that represent the dreams and goals you each have for yourselves and the dream you have for your marriage. Your vows will reflect those dreams. Maybe we could call your marriage or commitment vows ‘vision vows!’
Because that’s really what your vows are. The more energy in your vows, the more power there is to attract to you everything that you want and need to support your perfect dream.
Start collecting magazines on all sorts of subjects including travel, houses, furniture, family, fitness, etc. Make sure that you have the sort of print media that your partner is interested in. You should know him or her well enough to get the perfect stuff.
You can go to Google and click on ‘Images’ then keyword in what you are looking for, find something you can print out and you have instant images of your life together. Maybe you have phrases in mind. You can print out these also.
Ask your friends for magazines. If you are in a dentist or doctor’s office and the magazines are really old ask if you can have the one that you want.
Get together pictures taken of the two of you doing fun things and pictures that represent the emotional and physical closeness that is the cornerstone of a relationship and marriage.
You will need glue and scissors and poster board or foam board (for longevity). The pictures and words will represent aspects of your life.
Don’t get too bossy or direct the outcome. Just tell your partner that the two of you are going to cut out and glue pictures and words that represent what it is that you want to attract into your life and let the process unfold. Have fun. Don’t be too serious.
When you have finished the board each of you explain to the other the meaning of the pictures and phrases. Between the two of you most subjects will be covered.
Here’s where some of the sneaky stuff comes in. When your partner talks about the meaning of the images and words on the board ask questions to get to the heart of the overall dream for the marriage.
“What does that mean to you? How do you see ‘us’ in that picture?”
“What do you think we can do to make that happen?”
“There are no children in the picture. Don’t you want children?”
“Who will handle the money? How can we share this responsibility so that we are saving to be able to have what we want?”
That will give you some idea. You can come up with your own.
What I am asking you to do is to get to the essence of the dream for your life together.
That dream is what you build into your vows. You wedding vows are not the dream explained; they are the foundation that the vows are build on.
Your vows are for the purpose of making promises to each other explaining what you will do to support the dream.
Now it’s time to tell your partner what you have done.
Use reason here. Don’t get cocky and say something like, “Ha, Ha, I tricked you into telling me your secrets.”
Tell him or her that you want to write vows based around what you just talked about. Get out some paper and then begin to write down those promises. If you can do it right then and there that is best because the emotion and expectations of and for the dream are at their peak.
Here is what you can say: “Let’s write down what we are going to do to keep our dreams alive?”
“I promise to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy for both our sakes.”
“I will love you by encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.”
“I promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream alive and active.”
You can find more helpful phrases in the FREE Ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I wrote this for couples who don’t have time to use my longer version. It would be helpful for you using this ‘vision board’ process.
There you have it. Your ‘vision vows.’
Was that fun or what!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
This may be a bit sneaky and shameless but considering that writing your wedding vows can be one of the most important things you can ever to do to ensure the longevity, passion and intimacy of your relationship, I know you want to do everything you can to get this into motion.
Here’s what you are going to do. You and your partner are going to create a vision board!
This is just one of the idea generators you can find in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages.
A vision board is where you paste pictures and phrases that represent the dreams and goals you each have for yourselves and the dream you have for your marriage. Your vows will reflect those dreams. Maybe we could call your marriage or commitment vows ‘vision vows!’
Because that’s really what your vows are. The more energy in your vows, the more power there is to attract to you everything that you want and need to support your perfect dream.
Start collecting magazines on all sorts of subjects including travel, houses, furniture, family, fitness, etc. Make sure that you have the sort of print media that your partner is interested in. You should know him or her well enough to get the perfect stuff.
You can go to Google and click on ‘Images’ then keyword in what you are looking for, find something you can print out and you have instant images of your life together. Maybe you have phrases in mind. You can print out these also.
Ask your friends for magazines. If you are in a dentist or doctor’s office and the magazines are really old ask if you can have the one that you want.
Get together pictures taken of the two of you doing fun things and pictures that represent the emotional and physical closeness that is the cornerstone of a relationship and marriage.
You will need glue and scissors and poster board or foam board (for longevity). The pictures and words will represent aspects of your life.
Don’t get too bossy or direct the outcome. Just tell your partner that the two of you are going to cut out and glue pictures and words that represent what it is that you want to attract into your life and let the process unfold. Have fun. Don’t be too serious.
When you have finished the board each of you explain to the other the meaning of the pictures and phrases. Between the two of you most subjects will be covered.
Here’s where some of the sneaky stuff comes in. When your partner talks about the meaning of the images and words on the board ask questions to get to the heart of the overall dream for the marriage.
“What does that mean to you? How do you see ‘us’ in that picture?”
“What do you think we can do to make that happen?”
“There are no children in the picture. Don’t you want children?”
“Who will handle the money? How can we share this responsibility so that we are saving to be able to have what we want?”
That will give you some idea. You can come up with your own.
What I am asking you to do is to get to the essence of the dream for your life together.
That dream is what you build into your vows. You wedding vows are not the dream explained; they are the foundation that the vows are build on.
Your vows are for the purpose of making promises to each other explaining what you will do to support the dream.
Now it’s time to tell your partner what you have done.
Use reason here. Don’t get cocky and say something like, “Ha, Ha, I tricked you into telling me your secrets.”
Tell him or her that you want to write vows based around what you just talked about. Get out some paper and then begin to write down those promises. If you can do it right then and there that is best because the emotion and expectations of and for the dream are at their peak.
Here is what you can say: “Let’s write down what we are going to do to keep our dreams alive?”
“I promise to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy for both our sakes.”
“I will love you by encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.”
“I promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream alive and active.”
You can find more helpful phrases in the FREE Ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I wrote this for couples who don’t have time to use my longer version. It would be helpful for you using this ‘vision board’ process.
There you have it. Your ‘vision vows.’
Was that fun or what!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--Whose Model is it Anyway?
You will write your own personal and unique wedding vows based on certain expectations you have for your life.
I refer to this as the dream you have for your life together. By being clear about the way your want your life together to be, writing it down as vows and then pledging and promising what you will do to keep those vows alive, thriving, vital and intimate you stand a better chance of living the life of your dreams.
Yet what if those dreams are almost entirely driven by the models you have had in your life? Your parents, your grandparents, your friends parents, and other couples close to you. All of them have influenced your life in ways you can’t imagine.
Those models drive the behaviors that run your relationships. Those behaviors are what I am referring to as your default operating system.
So I will ask you two questions: Are you repeating the behaviors of the people who came before you? Do you want to repeat those behaviors?
This is not a judgmental question. I ask it just so you will have to think about the answer.
Were your models strong, loving, supportive models or were they weak or dysfunctional?
That awareness and honesty can change your life!
I want you to get as clear as you can how you want your life to be like. Forget the ‘what is my purpose’ stuff. You can’t wait around to find out your purpose. Get clear about what you want your life to be like and create a dream from that. Your purpose will appear as you live your best life.
You do not have to throw out the baby with the bathwater, however. Be aware of what aspects of your models you want to keep. Forget about what you don’t want. You want to focus on the positive and life-enhancing attitudes and habits.
What you focus on is what you will reproduce! Which is why it is good if you train yourself to see only what supports the life you want to lead.
Review those vows over and over again. As you do that you keep that dream of the life you want to live in front of you. The way you react to life, to each other, to situations and experiences will begin to change because you begin to reprogram your default operating system.
You are going to add new emotional software that little by little erases and reprograms your life.
Then if anyone asks you, “Whose life is this anyway?” you will be able to answer, MINE!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
I refer to this as the dream you have for your life together. By being clear about the way your want your life together to be, writing it down as vows and then pledging and promising what you will do to keep those vows alive, thriving, vital and intimate you stand a better chance of living the life of your dreams.
Yet what if those dreams are almost entirely driven by the models you have had in your life? Your parents, your grandparents, your friends parents, and other couples close to you. All of them have influenced your life in ways you can’t imagine.
Those models drive the behaviors that run your relationships. Those behaviors are what I am referring to as your default operating system.
So I will ask you two questions: Are you repeating the behaviors of the people who came before you? Do you want to repeat those behaviors?
This is not a judgmental question. I ask it just so you will have to think about the answer.
Were your models strong, loving, supportive models or were they weak or dysfunctional?
That awareness and honesty can change your life!
I want you to get as clear as you can how you want your life to be like. Forget the ‘what is my purpose’ stuff. You can’t wait around to find out your purpose. Get clear about what you want your life to be like and create a dream from that. Your purpose will appear as you live your best life.
You do not have to throw out the baby with the bathwater, however. Be aware of what aspects of your models you want to keep. Forget about what you don’t want. You want to focus on the positive and life-enhancing attitudes and habits.
What you focus on is what you will reproduce! Which is why it is good if you train yourself to see only what supports the life you want to lead.
Review those vows over and over again. As you do that you keep that dream of the life you want to live in front of you. The way you react to life, to each other, to situations and experiences will begin to change because you begin to reprogram your default operating system.
You are going to add new emotional software that little by little erases and reprograms your life.
Then if anyone asks you, “Whose life is this anyway?” you will be able to answer, MINE!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Monday, October 20, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-A One Page Miracle in Disguise
Your wedding or commitment vows are actually a dream in disguise. They have the potential to attract to you, with absolute precision, what you really, really want, in your individual lives and the life of the marriage.
That won’t happen if you don’t have a clear and powerful dream and vision:
* For yourself
* For your spouse or partner
* For your marriage or partnership
This is what I want you to know about why you must write your own wedding vows so they have a life beyond the end of the ceremony. . .
So they keep going and going and going . . .
So they live as long as the two of you do . . .
So they really can become a one page miracle!
You write your vows together in shared and inspired conversation, infusing the dream you have for your life together into every letter, word and sentence. You don’t actually write your dream word for word into your vows, however. Your vows are for the purpose of promising what it is you will do to keep the dream alive and sizzling. They are for the purpose of creating a one page miracle!
I want you to take a little time to get yourselves prepared before you sit down together to talk about your life and your vows.
Do you realize that most couples never take the time to talk about important things. Things like money and sex–the two most quoted reasons for divorce–and children and careers and spirituality or religion, or in-laws, or houses and cars and things are often never brought up.
Amazing!
Here’s a quote from someone who picked up one of the brochures for my one day event:
“I am going through a divorce right now. When I read your brochure I realized that my husband and I did not take any time to talk about important areas of our life. If we had a program like this I believe things would have been different!” Anne S.
Before you sit down together to write your vows take a little time to think about some of those areas of your married life.
Write each aspect or area out on a separate card. Then every once in a while pick up one card and carry it around with you. Place it in a conspicuous spot so you will be reminded of it. Then pay attention to the thoughts that pop into your head. Or the conversations you hear around you.
You may find articles in magazines, or turn on Oprah and right there is someone discussing that very topic. You will be surprised at where and how insights and thoughts or answers come to you.
When I say ‘you,’ I mean the two of you. This is not good if both of you are not engaged on some level in ‘big’ thinking.
I want you to come up with what some of the big thinkers refer to as Big Hairy Audacious Goals. You want your goals and your dreams to be too big for the two of you to effect on your own. I want you to tap into an invisible power that knows how to bring to you everything you need to be ‘living’ that BHAG.
You are going to have an amazing life that just keeps going and going and going and going because you are going to use one of the most important discoveries ever!
It’s this: Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined!
That one discovery about how the mind works has vast and very important implications for you because you can make your mind believe whatever you want.
You create a BIG dream, you write it into your vows by promising to do whatever it takes to live that dream, and then you keep reviewing those vows over and over and over until you have installed those vows as your personal operating system.
All that from your vows. I would call that a mega miracle in disguise!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples to write down the dream and then live it!
I help you to write down the dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages and Partnerships.
That won’t happen if you don’t have a clear and powerful dream and vision:
* For yourself
* For your spouse or partner
* For your marriage or partnership
This is what I want you to know about why you must write your own wedding vows so they have a life beyond the end of the ceremony. . .
So they keep going and going and going . . .
So they live as long as the two of you do . . .
So they really can become a one page miracle!
You write your vows together in shared and inspired conversation, infusing the dream you have for your life together into every letter, word and sentence. You don’t actually write your dream word for word into your vows, however. Your vows are for the purpose of promising what it is you will do to keep the dream alive and sizzling. They are for the purpose of creating a one page miracle!
I want you to take a little time to get yourselves prepared before you sit down together to talk about your life and your vows.
Do you realize that most couples never take the time to talk about important things. Things like money and sex–the two most quoted reasons for divorce–and children and careers and spirituality or religion, or in-laws, or houses and cars and things are often never brought up.
Amazing!
Here’s a quote from someone who picked up one of the brochures for my one day event:
“I am going through a divorce right now. When I read your brochure I realized that my husband and I did not take any time to talk about important areas of our life. If we had a program like this I believe things would have been different!” Anne S.
Before you sit down together to write your vows take a little time to think about some of those areas of your married life.
Write each aspect or area out on a separate card. Then every once in a while pick up one card and carry it around with you. Place it in a conspicuous spot so you will be reminded of it. Then pay attention to the thoughts that pop into your head. Or the conversations you hear around you.
You may find articles in magazines, or turn on Oprah and right there is someone discussing that very topic. You will be surprised at where and how insights and thoughts or answers come to you.
When I say ‘you,’ I mean the two of you. This is not good if both of you are not engaged on some level in ‘big’ thinking.
I want you to come up with what some of the big thinkers refer to as Big Hairy Audacious Goals. You want your goals and your dreams to be too big for the two of you to effect on your own. I want you to tap into an invisible power that knows how to bring to you everything you need to be ‘living’ that BHAG.
You are going to have an amazing life that just keeps going and going and going and going because you are going to use one of the most important discoveries ever!
It’s this: Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined!
That one discovery about how the mind works has vast and very important implications for you because you can make your mind believe whatever you want.
You create a BIG dream, you write it into your vows by promising to do whatever it takes to live that dream, and then you keep reviewing those vows over and over and over until you have installed those vows as your personal operating system.
All that from your vows. I would call that a mega miracle in disguise!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples to write down the dream and then live it!
I help you to write down the dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages and Partnerships.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows–Tap Into the Sizzle of the Universe
The time around your wedding or commitment ceremony and the writing of your personal vows is the most highly charged time you will ever experience as a couple and you can consciously use it.
What happens is that there is all this energy and creative excitement focused around you and You and YOU! The florist, the caterer, the cake maker, the wedding planner, the wedding attire people, your family, the guests, absolutely everyone is focused on your best life.
This creates an energy that sizzles like an electrical storm. It’s the entire world praying on your behalf with absolutely no doubt of the outcome. Whatever you introduce into this storm is what will get taken up and reproduced in magical and mystical ways. I want you to consciously tap into this spiritual or universal potential. I want you to create strong, powerful personal wedding vows.
Those vows are like a super strong magnet. They become synergistic. That means that 1 + 1 does not equal 2 it equals 11!
There will only be a few times in your life as a couple that will carry the same positive attention and energy of so many people. This highly charged energy can be consciously directed to create a powerful future.
The power and potential that I am talking about comes from sitting down and having a shared conversation about what is important: To the marriage and to each of you individually. Do not go off into corners to write vows and surprise each other. I want you to weave magic by creating a strong and powerful intention and that has to be done together!
When you are mindful about what it is that you want to experience in your relationship and marriage, talk it out, play with it, shape it a bit, and write it into your vows. When you do that your vows become a powerful blueprint or intention for the future. You literally explode the probability of that dream being true.
Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is true and what isn’t–science has proven this–your mind and Higher Power goes to work bringing in people, things and experiences that support those powerful desires.
Please . . . do not squander this time.
Write powerful wedding or commitment vows. Dream BIG. Give the Universe something splendid to unfold for you. It’s just waiting for you to choose.
I can help you do that with my guidelines for writing ‘vows that create powerful marriages.” Check out the Secret Life of Wedding Vows.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
What happens is that there is all this energy and creative excitement focused around you and You and YOU! The florist, the caterer, the cake maker, the wedding planner, the wedding attire people, your family, the guests, absolutely everyone is focused on your best life.
This creates an energy that sizzles like an electrical storm. It’s the entire world praying on your behalf with absolutely no doubt of the outcome. Whatever you introduce into this storm is what will get taken up and reproduced in magical and mystical ways. I want you to consciously tap into this spiritual or universal potential. I want you to create strong, powerful personal wedding vows.
Those vows are like a super strong magnet. They become synergistic. That means that 1 + 1 does not equal 2 it equals 11!
There will only be a few times in your life as a couple that will carry the same positive attention and energy of so many people. This highly charged energy can be consciously directed to create a powerful future.
The power and potential that I am talking about comes from sitting down and having a shared conversation about what is important: To the marriage and to each of you individually. Do not go off into corners to write vows and surprise each other. I want you to weave magic by creating a strong and powerful intention and that has to be done together!
When you are mindful about what it is that you want to experience in your relationship and marriage, talk it out, play with it, shape it a bit, and write it into your vows. When you do that your vows become a powerful blueprint or intention for the future. You literally explode the probability of that dream being true.
Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is true and what isn’t–science has proven this–your mind and Higher Power goes to work bringing in people, things and experiences that support those powerful desires.
Please . . . do not squander this time.
Write powerful wedding or commitment vows. Dream BIG. Give the Universe something splendid to unfold for you. It’s just waiting for you to choose.
I can help you do that with my guidelines for writing ‘vows that create powerful marriages.” Check out the Secret Life of Wedding Vows.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows is Like Putting Money in the Bank!
Wedding or commitment vows are for the purpose of creating dreams that give a couple passion for life and each other, according to Linda Bardes, ‘The Wedding Vow Coach’
The reason a couple writes their own personal wedding or commitment vows is to create an opportunity to sit down together and have what may well be the most important conversation the couple could ever have in their entire married life.
What I’m asking you to do is take a little time to create a mental picture of the life you want to lead. I want you to dream the biggest dream you can think of then deposit that into the treasury of your subconscious mind to create a Law of Attraction.
By talking about money and sex, careers, children , in-laws, religion or spirituality, houses and cars, travel, food, health, and philanthropy or any aspect of their marriage that will be of importance in the next 5-10 years, you will begin to infuse that dream into what could be called the operating system of your lives.
As you talk about the dream write it down on paper. This is for the purpose of getting it out and down on paper.
The dream is not the vows. The vows are a result of the dream. The vows are the promises you make to each other saying what each of you will do to keep that dream alive.”
I want you to be so inspired by the dream or vision you have of your life together that you will be willing to invest attention on making daily deposits into the emotional bank account of your marriage. Because, sooner or later you will have some challenges and if the bank account of your marriage is empty there will be nothing to draw on.”
Another aspect of writing vows that is is equally important is revisiting the vows.
When the ceremony is over, you are not finished with your vows. The power is in repeating those vows over and over and over again. Just like a pianist practices a symphony until it is installed in memory, so you will continues to review your vows every day until those vows becomes the chief operating system of your lives.
Sometimes you will read those vows alone and other times together. By reading them together you open doors for conversation. That way no problem or situation ever gets so completely off tract that you forget what the real problem is.
When you install your dream into your mind and your body so that it becomes a way of life, through the Law of Attraction everything you need to support your dream–the people, things, opportunities, ideas, and experiences–will show up almost effortlessly. Like a miracle.”
Indeed, you could call your vows a one-page-miracle because of the spiritual and emotional power infused in them.
I don’t want to tell you that there won’t be challenges. But if you keeps the vision or dream alive and vital, investing small amounts of physical and emotional currency, the marriage doesn’t have to be hard work. Intimacy thrives.
Reading those vows and putting attention on the little things, like saying ‘I love you’ every day, praising and complimenting each other often, never going to bed angry, holding hands for one minute every day, reading the vows every day, writing little notes, are all currency that will pay big dividends.”
You can find out more about Rev. Bardes and her work around writing wedding or commitment vows by following this link. or click on sign up on right.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Weddng Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
The reason a couple writes their own personal wedding or commitment vows is to create an opportunity to sit down together and have what may well be the most important conversation the couple could ever have in their entire married life.
What I’m asking you to do is take a little time to create a mental picture of the life you want to lead. I want you to dream the biggest dream you can think of then deposit that into the treasury of your subconscious mind to create a Law of Attraction.
By talking about money and sex, careers, children , in-laws, religion or spirituality, houses and cars, travel, food, health, and philanthropy or any aspect of their marriage that will be of importance in the next 5-10 years, you will begin to infuse that dream into what could be called the operating system of your lives.
As you talk about the dream write it down on paper. This is for the purpose of getting it out and down on paper.
The dream is not the vows. The vows are a result of the dream. The vows are the promises you make to each other saying what each of you will do to keep that dream alive.”
I want you to be so inspired by the dream or vision you have of your life together that you will be willing to invest attention on making daily deposits into the emotional bank account of your marriage. Because, sooner or later you will have some challenges and if the bank account of your marriage is empty there will be nothing to draw on.”
Another aspect of writing vows that is is equally important is revisiting the vows.
When the ceremony is over, you are not finished with your vows. The power is in repeating those vows over and over and over again. Just like a pianist practices a symphony until it is installed in memory, so you will continues to review your vows every day until those vows becomes the chief operating system of your lives.
Sometimes you will read those vows alone and other times together. By reading them together you open doors for conversation. That way no problem or situation ever gets so completely off tract that you forget what the real problem is.
When you install your dream into your mind and your body so that it becomes a way of life, through the Law of Attraction everything you need to support your dream–the people, things, opportunities, ideas, and experiences–will show up almost effortlessly. Like a miracle.”
Indeed, you could call your vows a one-page-miracle because of the spiritual and emotional power infused in them.
I don’t want to tell you that there won’t be challenges. But if you keeps the vision or dream alive and vital, investing small amounts of physical and emotional currency, the marriage doesn’t have to be hard work. Intimacy thrives.
Reading those vows and putting attention on the little things, like saying ‘I love you’ every day, praising and complimenting each other often, never going to bed angry, holding hands for one minute every day, reading the vows every day, writing little notes, are all currency that will pay big dividends.”
You can find out more about Rev. Bardes and her work around writing wedding or commitment vows by following this link. or click on sign up on right.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Weddng Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--It's Wake Up Time for Your Cells
In case you thought I was joking about biochemistry and how it drives our lives and how by writing your own wedding vows and continuing to review those vows on a regular basis you can actually affect and sustain the level of intimacy in your relationship, I am adding a little copy that came in an Email from Joe Vitale. He is promoting the book, Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton.
“The Biology of Belief” will forever change how you think about your own thinking. Stunning new scientific discoveries about the biochemical effects of the brain’s functioning show that all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.
Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D., a renowned cell biologist, describes the precise molecular pathways through which this occurs. Using simple language, illustrations, humor, and everyday examples, he demonstrates how the new science of Epigenetics is revolutionizing our understanding of the link between mind and matter and the profound effects it has on our personal lives and the collective life of our species.
And writing your own personal wedding or commitment vows!
The line to pay attention to is the line ” all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.”
Remember that silly song, “Every little cell of my body is happy. Every little cell of my body is fine?” You can wake up your cells, introduce some positive affirmations (your wedding or commitment vows) and permanently live the life you have imagined.
I am suggesting that you write your wedding or commitment vows as a result of a shared conversation. Talk about your life together and visit aspects of your marriage or partnership, such as money, sex, family, careers, houses, cars, etc. Get emotional, exaggerate your dream.
What you are doing is energizing, entertaining and installing an actual physical chemical pattern. When you continue to revisit and reinvigorate that pattern by rereading your vows over and over and over and over again eventually it becomes permanent. At some point, just like learning to play the piano, you will have committed that pattern to memory and you will be playing, or living, it with ease.
I am asking you to consciously give voice to a dream or vivid vision that you pledge or promise to support in your vows and then continue to review those vows over and over and over and over.
In your case you are not so much trying to change your thoughts as to take the passion and persistence that you arrived at in your relationship and maintain it, heighten it and expand it in beautiful and measurable ways that then becomes your every day experience. With ease. That’s what I mean about your vows affecting your biochemistry.
This is incredible stuff.
As Jeff Herrick, the Article Guy says, “Go use this stuff!” (GUTS)
Here’s a link to my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS. This will help you get that cell transforming dream down on paper. Check out the blog for lots more articles.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
“The Biology of Belief” will forever change how you think about your own thinking. Stunning new scientific discoveries about the biochemical effects of the brain’s functioning show that all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.
Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D., a renowned cell biologist, describes the precise molecular pathways through which this occurs. Using simple language, illustrations, humor, and everyday examples, he demonstrates how the new science of Epigenetics is revolutionizing our understanding of the link between mind and matter and the profound effects it has on our personal lives and the collective life of our species.
And writing your own personal wedding or commitment vows!
The line to pay attention to is the line ” all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.”
Remember that silly song, “Every little cell of my body is happy. Every little cell of my body is fine?” You can wake up your cells, introduce some positive affirmations (your wedding or commitment vows) and permanently live the life you have imagined.
I am suggesting that you write your wedding or commitment vows as a result of a shared conversation. Talk about your life together and visit aspects of your marriage or partnership, such as money, sex, family, careers, houses, cars, etc. Get emotional, exaggerate your dream.
What you are doing is energizing, entertaining and installing an actual physical chemical pattern. When you continue to revisit and reinvigorate that pattern by rereading your vows over and over and over and over again eventually it becomes permanent. At some point, just like learning to play the piano, you will have committed that pattern to memory and you will be playing, or living, it with ease.
I am asking you to consciously give voice to a dream or vivid vision that you pledge or promise to support in your vows and then continue to review those vows over and over and over and over.
In your case you are not so much trying to change your thoughts as to take the passion and persistence that you arrived at in your relationship and maintain it, heighten it and expand it in beautiful and measurable ways that then becomes your every day experience. With ease. That’s what I mean about your vows affecting your biochemistry.
This is incredible stuff.
As Jeff Herrick, the Article Guy says, “Go use this stuff!” (GUTS)
Here’s a link to my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS. This will help you get that cell transforming dream down on paper. Check out the blog for lots more articles.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows–Guidelines for Keeping Intimacy Alive and Well
This is a post about writing wedding vows. But it’s also a post about keeping intimacy alive. Because intimacy is the emotional ‘glue’ that keeps a relationship fresh, and sizzling. Writing personal wedding or commitment vows is a way for a couple outline what they will do to keep and maintain the intimate life of their marriage and relationship.
A while ago I wrote a post about keeping a marriage or relationship alive by activating biochemicals through sex.
I still think sex is an important topic and what I have been trying to get across to couples is that through taking the time to sit down together and get very clear about the dream they have for their marriage by discussing aspects of their life like money, and sex, and children, and in-laws, careers, fun activities, houses, cars, philanthropy, etc. they are better equipped to keep intimacy and their sex life alive.
Intimacy is a big loaded word. I did research a while ago about what women want and what men want and what I found is that men and women want the same things–intimacy. According to the sources I read, women want emotional intimacy and men want sexual intimacy.
However, after reading some of the commentary from a TV show that Oprah did with marriage counselor, M Gary Neuman, author of The Truth About Cheating, it became obvious to me that the reason men equate intimacy with sex is that they don’t know how to go about establishing a truly emotional and intimate connection with their partner.
Here’s a quote from the show: “It’s not just about having sex; it’s about emotional attachments. It’s about showing your private self to others. It’s about going to another person for what you should be holding personal for your wife, and continuing to put your energy somewhere else draws you that much more away and [makes it] harder to get back to your spouse.”
Women don’t really know how to go about creating intimacy either. There seems to be some built-in genetic something or other–that mother thing–that is helpful but women are as hard pressed as men to ‘know’ what or how to do this thing called intimacy.
Writing wedding vows together, however, forces a couple to actually think about, talk about, write about and then pledge what they will do to keep the ‘dream’ alive. That dream has a lot of elements such as money and sex, careers, houses and cars, but it is even more about establishing a conscious intimate connection that they can then build on and keep nourishing.
Writing and pledging wedding or commitment vows is not the end all and be all, but it is a beginning, and by repeating and rereading those vows over and over and over again the couple locks in their dream and it becomes their life operating system.
Rereading their vows together also creates opportunities for conversation so that problems can be solved almost before they begin.
The real work comes in setting up some guidelines to follow. That is what writing wedding or commitment vows are for. To establish guidelines that help a couple create a powerful, intimate, and sustainable marriage.
I want you to have the best life possible and not to have to ‘work’ at it so hard, because working at putting a marriage or relationship back together after it has cracked is where the ‘hard’ work really is.
Create a dream for your life and the life of your marriage, infuse that dream with excitement and passion, getting clear about all the important aspects and elements of what makes up a successful life and relationship. Tell your partner what you need from him or her to help you keep those dreams alive. That should be included in your vows.
Because your vows are all about what you are going to do to keep the dream alive.
See my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows, to help you in your quest for the most amazing life ever!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
A while ago I wrote a post about keeping a marriage or relationship alive by activating biochemicals through sex.
I still think sex is an important topic and what I have been trying to get across to couples is that through taking the time to sit down together and get very clear about the dream they have for their marriage by discussing aspects of their life like money, and sex, and children, and in-laws, careers, fun activities, houses, cars, philanthropy, etc. they are better equipped to keep intimacy and their sex life alive.
Intimacy is a big loaded word. I did research a while ago about what women want and what men want and what I found is that men and women want the same things–intimacy. According to the sources I read, women want emotional intimacy and men want sexual intimacy.
However, after reading some of the commentary from a TV show that Oprah did with marriage counselor, M Gary Neuman, author of The Truth About Cheating, it became obvious to me that the reason men equate intimacy with sex is that they don’t know how to go about establishing a truly emotional and intimate connection with their partner.
Here’s a quote from the show: “It’s not just about having sex; it’s about emotional attachments. It’s about showing your private self to others. It’s about going to another person for what you should be holding personal for your wife, and continuing to put your energy somewhere else draws you that much more away and [makes it] harder to get back to your spouse.”
Women don’t really know how to go about creating intimacy either. There seems to be some built-in genetic something or other–that mother thing–that is helpful but women are as hard pressed as men to ‘know’ what or how to do this thing called intimacy.
Writing wedding vows together, however, forces a couple to actually think about, talk about, write about and then pledge what they will do to keep the ‘dream’ alive. That dream has a lot of elements such as money and sex, careers, houses and cars, but it is even more about establishing a conscious intimate connection that they can then build on and keep nourishing.
Writing and pledging wedding or commitment vows is not the end all and be all, but it is a beginning, and by repeating and rereading those vows over and over and over again the couple locks in their dream and it becomes their life operating system.
Rereading their vows together also creates opportunities for conversation so that problems can be solved almost before they begin.
The real work comes in setting up some guidelines to follow. That is what writing wedding or commitment vows are for. To establish guidelines that help a couple create a powerful, intimate, and sustainable marriage.
I want you to have the best life possible and not to have to ‘work’ at it so hard, because working at putting a marriage or relationship back together after it has cracked is where the ‘hard’ work really is.
Create a dream for your life and the life of your marriage, infuse that dream with excitement and passion, getting clear about all the important aspects and elements of what makes up a successful life and relationship. Tell your partner what you need from him or her to help you keep those dreams alive. That should be included in your vows.
Because your vows are all about what you are going to do to keep the dream alive.
See my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows, to help you in your quest for the most amazing life ever!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-Using the 7 Tools of Creation
When writing personal weddings or commitment vows, there is a way to do it so that those vows can be the template for something spectacular. By using the 7 tools of creation, an individual, or a couple, can create something of lasting value that can defy all the odds. And do it easily.
The seven tools of creation to use when writing your wedding or commitment vows are:
* Thought or contemplation
* Writing
* Talking
* Pledging or promising
* Review and repetition
* Affirmations and prayer
* Saying ‘Thank you!’
Thinking-By taking a question, or a particular idea you need clarification on, in this case the life of a marriage or committed relationship, and allowing it to roll around in your mind and in your life, you open yourself to expanding your thoughts to arrive at new and bigger ways of living your life. You are not trying to make anything happen. You are open to a higher way of thinking that can come in many ways through books, magazines, radio or TV, casual conversations, intuition, etc.
By making a conscious decision that you want a higher perspective and answer, and voicing that to yourself, you set in motion a process of ‘allowing’ where information, ideas, and awarenesses just sort of ’show up.’
Writing-Writing allow you to ’see’ your thoughts. They become more real and you have a greater perspective because you are outlining, describing, or concluding. The process helps you to access many parts of your brain. By writing an idea out you can more easily decide if you are actually clear about your thoughts on a particular subject. I’ve been at workshops where the answers to important questions were written with the non-dominant hand. This bypasses some judgmental thought processes to get to a raw essence of an idea.
You may write about your wedding vows and the dream you have for your life together more than once. By writing about your life and your dreams, for yourself or your relationship, you can get into the feeling, the picture and the emotion of the thing, thereby driving the energetic pattern into the cells of your body. In metaphysics we call this ‘embodying an idea.’ This means that you have ingrained the idea or made it your operating system so that you will automatically do, be, and say what it is that supports the dream you have crafted for your life together.
Talking-Talking takes your thoughts to a higher level and accesses other parts of your brain. By actually hearing your dream for your life explained or expressed in words you speak, your vision is amplified. It becomes more real. The template you have created, becomes what can be called the Law of Attraction. As it is impressed into a unified field of awareness that field, or God, or the Universe, or Spirit, or whatever you want to call it, begins to go to work for you on your behalf. Bring you to people, things, experiences, ideas and awarenesses that support your dream or your vision.
By talking about your life together as you work through the process of writing your wedding vows, you are establishing an intimacy for each other and the dream you have for your marriage or partnership that you can easily return to.
Pledging or promising-When you promise to do whatever it takes for you to stay on purpose and in passion of and for the dream you wrote into your wedding vows you are becoming a decision maker. There is power in a decision. You activate an energy that helps keep you going even when there are tough times. Robert Schuller has a great phrase he made into a book: ‘Tough times never last, but tough people do.’ Promising to stick with something until you have made it your operating system, or your way of life, activates will power, right thinking and right action.
Reviewing-When you have written and pledged your vows you are not finished with them. You are going to take those wedding vows, and read them over and over and over again. Every day! The more you read those vows, the more real they become. The more real they feel, the stronger a magnet they are. Everything you need to be living your dream shows up, almost magically and mystically. So keep rereading them over and over and over and over!
You are learning to play the symphony of your life. Every great master of any subject practiced it over and over and over again until they had that skill ingrained in their minds and bodies and the very fabric of their lives.
Affirmation/prayer-This is where you ask for help! In affirmation or prayer you are affirming that there is something bigger than you are, call it a Higher Power, that can take some of the load off, that knows how to do anything, and is delighting in ‘pressing down to overflowing’ everything you want and need to make your life extraordinary, passionate, creative, prosperous, meaningful, and fulfilling. This is where you stop trying to make things happen and allow them to happen to you by reminding yourself that you are worthy, that you deserve to be living your dream, that there is nothing that can block, hinder, slow down or other wise keep your good from you.
This is where you get out of your own way!
Saying ‘Thank You’-The bible says that before Jesus prayed he would say,’ Thank you, Father, for answering my prayer.” He ‘knew’ before he even finished the prayer that the outcome was a given. So every day you begin your day by saying ‘thank you:’ to yourself, to Higher Power, the Universe, your family, your life, and everything in your world. You are in effect opening your arms, your mind and your life for good to come from everywhere in every form.
Another way of saying ‘thank you’ is to give voice for all the good things that show. This includes, parking spots, someone who went out of their way to be helpful, for a good idea, for your partner. In fact, for everything that shows up. Get in the habit of saying ‘thank you’ for just about everything. You are also saying to the Universe, ‘I appreciate all I have and you can bring me more.’ The more you have the more you can give away, which is another way of saying ‘thank you!’
I want you to have the most amazing life possible. If you take a little time once in a while to stop, think, write, speak, pledge, review, pray or affirm and say ‘thank you,’ you will have retooled your life to seeing, experiencing and sharing the spirit of possibility.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples and individuals write down the dream and then live it!
www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
The seven tools of creation to use when writing your wedding or commitment vows are:
* Thought or contemplation
* Writing
* Talking
* Pledging or promising
* Review and repetition
* Affirmations and prayer
* Saying ‘Thank you!’
Thinking-By taking a question, or a particular idea you need clarification on, in this case the life of a marriage or committed relationship, and allowing it to roll around in your mind and in your life, you open yourself to expanding your thoughts to arrive at new and bigger ways of living your life. You are not trying to make anything happen. You are open to a higher way of thinking that can come in many ways through books, magazines, radio or TV, casual conversations, intuition, etc.
By making a conscious decision that you want a higher perspective and answer, and voicing that to yourself, you set in motion a process of ‘allowing’ where information, ideas, and awarenesses just sort of ’show up.’
Writing-Writing allow you to ’see’ your thoughts. They become more real and you have a greater perspective because you are outlining, describing, or concluding. The process helps you to access many parts of your brain. By writing an idea out you can more easily decide if you are actually clear about your thoughts on a particular subject. I’ve been at workshops where the answers to important questions were written with the non-dominant hand. This bypasses some judgmental thought processes to get to a raw essence of an idea.
You may write about your wedding vows and the dream you have for your life together more than once. By writing about your life and your dreams, for yourself or your relationship, you can get into the feeling, the picture and the emotion of the thing, thereby driving the energetic pattern into the cells of your body. In metaphysics we call this ‘embodying an idea.’ This means that you have ingrained the idea or made it your operating system so that you will automatically do, be, and say what it is that supports the dream you have crafted for your life together.
Talking-Talking takes your thoughts to a higher level and accesses other parts of your brain. By actually hearing your dream for your life explained or expressed in words you speak, your vision is amplified. It becomes more real. The template you have created, becomes what can be called the Law of Attraction. As it is impressed into a unified field of awareness that field, or God, or the Universe, or Spirit, or whatever you want to call it, begins to go to work for you on your behalf. Bring you to people, things, experiences, ideas and awarenesses that support your dream or your vision.
By talking about your life together as you work through the process of writing your wedding vows, you are establishing an intimacy for each other and the dream you have for your marriage or partnership that you can easily return to.
Pledging or promising-When you promise to do whatever it takes for you to stay on purpose and in passion of and for the dream you wrote into your wedding vows you are becoming a decision maker. There is power in a decision. You activate an energy that helps keep you going even when there are tough times. Robert Schuller has a great phrase he made into a book: ‘Tough times never last, but tough people do.’ Promising to stick with something until you have made it your operating system, or your way of life, activates will power, right thinking and right action.
Reviewing-When you have written and pledged your vows you are not finished with them. You are going to take those wedding vows, and read them over and over and over again. Every day! The more you read those vows, the more real they become. The more real they feel, the stronger a magnet they are. Everything you need to be living your dream shows up, almost magically and mystically. So keep rereading them over and over and over and over!
You are learning to play the symphony of your life. Every great master of any subject practiced it over and over and over again until they had that skill ingrained in their minds and bodies and the very fabric of their lives.
Affirmation/prayer-This is where you ask for help! In affirmation or prayer you are affirming that there is something bigger than you are, call it a Higher Power, that can take some of the load off, that knows how to do anything, and is delighting in ‘pressing down to overflowing’ everything you want and need to make your life extraordinary, passionate, creative, prosperous, meaningful, and fulfilling. This is where you stop trying to make things happen and allow them to happen to you by reminding yourself that you are worthy, that you deserve to be living your dream, that there is nothing that can block, hinder, slow down or other wise keep your good from you.
This is where you get out of your own way!
Saying ‘Thank You’-The bible says that before Jesus prayed he would say,’ Thank you, Father, for answering my prayer.” He ‘knew’ before he even finished the prayer that the outcome was a given. So every day you begin your day by saying ‘thank you:’ to yourself, to Higher Power, the Universe, your family, your life, and everything in your world. You are in effect opening your arms, your mind and your life for good to come from everywhere in every form.
Another way of saying ‘thank you’ is to give voice for all the good things that show. This includes, parking spots, someone who went out of their way to be helpful, for a good idea, for your partner. In fact, for everything that shows up. Get in the habit of saying ‘thank you’ for just about everything. You are also saying to the Universe, ‘I appreciate all I have and you can bring me more.’ The more you have the more you can give away, which is another way of saying ‘thank you!’
I want you to have the most amazing life possible. If you take a little time once in a while to stop, think, write, speak, pledge, review, pray or affirm and say ‘thank you,’ you will have retooled your life to seeing, experiencing and sharing the spirit of possibility.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples and individuals write down the dream and then live it!
www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
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