Writing Wedding Vows--"Jumping the Shark"

When you write your unique wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation infusing a dream into them and promising what you will do to keep that dream alive, you are ‘jumping the shark.’

‘Jumping the shark,’ is a phrase that came as a result of an old Fonzie episode on TV.

It’s accepted meaning is to do something radical and unusual to get back on course. But there are negative connotations also. Some definitions would say that it’s all over ‘when the Fonz has jumped.”

However, what those descriptions do not seem to take into account is that after that episode where the Fonz actually jumped on water skies over a shark contained in an enclosure, the show went on to produce 100 more episodes!

I want you to ‘jump the shark’ even before a jump is needed.

I want you to get very clear about the dream you have for your marriage. (That’s the core of my philosophy.) But I also want you to talk about an experience that sooner or later is going to come up in your marriage:

You are going to find yourself going off course . . .

You are going to realize that your relationship is in danger of becoming mediocre . . .

You will realize that your relationship needs an infusion of intimacy, energy, laughter, and conversation.

Take all this into account when you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your marriage. Be honest with each other that sooner or later your relationship is going to need a little reinvigoration; that you are going to need to give it a little boost.

I am suggesting that you to ‘jump the shark’ now and build that course correction into the writing your wedding vows.

“But, Rev. Linda,” you say. “We are so madly in love. That’s not going to change!”

I want remind you that divorce statistics prove otherwise: Fifty percent of 1st time marriages will end within 4 years.

Somehow those couples who were madly and gladly in love fell sadly and madly out of love!

If you spend some time up front that won’t happen to you. Here’s what I want you to do:

* Write your wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation.
* Talk about the dream you have for your life together.
* Be honest that the dream you gave voice to will sometimes get a little flat and the core values you established may be compromised.
* Promise to be the first to take the initiative to get things back on course.
* Write that promise into your vows: “I promise that I will be mindful our our promises to each other and take the initiative if I realize that things are not measuring up to our standards.”
* Reread your vows every day even after the ceremony. This keeps the dream and the promises right in front of you. You will be more able to recognize when things are veering off course.

What you want to do is to ‘jump the shark’ before there’s even a shark to jump. Having fun and being intimate on an ongoing basis will help you keep your dream alive and thriving.

* Make love on the kitchen floor!
* Go out for a long walk.
* Hold hands for 1 minute every day.
* Take a ’sleepover’ trip even if it is only for one night in a hotel close to home.
* I had a friend who wrapped herself in saran wrap and waited at the front door with a scissors in her hand!
* This same friend had a picnic on the living room floor in winter complete with bathing suits and an ant farm.

By writing your own vows, reviewing those vows, taking time to have fun and talk, your marriage or partnership will continue to so strong that there will be no fish big enough to need jumping!

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows. See more on her web site and pick up the FREE Ebook and the totally original, 10 Commandments of Marriage.www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com