Writing Wedding Vows--Dogs Can Teach Us What About Marriage?

Writing your own personal and unique wedding or commitment vows can be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if you take the experience seriously and write your vows as though your married life depended on it. Because it very possibly could.

Since half of all first time marriages end in divorce, you’ve got to do everything you can to create an atmosphere of fun, trust, intimacy, and growth without making it hard or difficult.

Because we don’t have time to do things the ‘hard way.’

Infuse the dream you have for your life into your vows. Then write down and promise what you will do to keep those vows alive and thriving and growing.

You can use many resources to find ways to script those vows. I gave you 10 in the 10 Commandments of Marriage and here I offer you many more examples for you to build inspiration and truth from.

The source comes from a veternarian. The name didn’t come through the resource where I found it so I can’t give credit where it is due.

There is a short story behind it though. It seems that the beloved dog of a family with a young son had to be euthanized. The parents were concerned that the boy would be traumatized by the event. They tried to console the boy by telling him that they didn’t know why the dog had to die but that there was a reason and they couldn’t know what it was.

The young son already had it figured out, and announced, “I know why.”

His explanation was pure simplicity. He said: “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life—like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right? Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

The veterinarian who cared for this dear family pet, offered some other lessons that dogs can teach us:

* When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Dogs treat us like celebrities when we come home. There’s nothing wrong with showing people that we care about them.
* Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. On warm days, there’s nothing wrong with stopping to lie on your back on the grass. I think of Richard Gere’s character in the movie Pretty Woman. He was so busy working—doing big business deals—that he never stopped to enjoy walking barefoot in green grass until Julia Roberts showed him.
* Take naps. Many of us are on overload, so in life you have to know when to throttle up and throttle down. If you can’t take a nap, at least take a break. It will improve your disposition.
* Run, romp, and play daily. If you have a chance to have fun, go for it. Life presents plenty of difficult times, and we all need a break every now and then. My motto: work hard and play hard.
* Let people touch you. Don’t be aloof. Allow people to get close to you.
* Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. Just make sure your bark isn’t as bad as your bite. It’s okay to warn people that you’re upset or even angry, but keep your temper in check.
* When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Happiness is the American way. After all, the Declaration of Independence says we are endowed “with certain unalienable rights that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” So we have a right to be happy!
* Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Exercise is always good. I’ve been doing it all my life. It just makes me feel better, gives me energy to work more productively and, I hope, live longer. My philosophy is: Exercise doesn’t take time; it makes time.
* Be loyal. In a recent column about loyalty, I wrote that one of the first qualities that I look for in both employees and friends is loyalty. And my friends know they can expect my loyalty in return.
* If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. I’m constantly asked what the secret of success is, and persistence is at the top of the list. When you study truly successful people, you’ll see that they have made plenty of mistakes, but when they were knocked down, they kept getting up … and up … and up.
* When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. People remember two things in life—who kicked them when they were down, and who helped them on the way up.

You might write something like this into your vows: “I promise to pay attention to what nature and animals have to teach us about love and acceptance and use what I learn.”

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding and commitment vows. She believes that if a couple takes a little time to get very clear about the dream they have for their marriage, then write their vows as promises based on that dream, they have created the most important tool they can ever have in their marriage or relationship toolbox. See her website for more information and to get a FREE copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage.