Life Vows-There’s a Pony in the Pile

You sat down together and talked about your life together; you finished writing your personal wedding or commitment vows; you’ve read or recited them to each other at your ceremony; and now the honeymoon is over.

A shit-uation has arisen in your relationship that threatens to undermine your happiness.

Reality has set in. Except that I teach you to never accept reality. Only use what you are experiencing to grow into the dream you have for your lives. In order to get to the dream sometimes you have to shovel a pile.

This situation is pure manure. Pure gold.

And what does manure do?

IT FERTILIZES!

IT GROWS THINGS!

IT IS HIGHLY VALUABLE!

Organic gardeners prizes manure because it’s natural and organic. You pay dearly for organic food!

And your situation is a natural and organic element in your relationship. When you reach for something bigger than you know how to do shit-uations will come up.

It’s what you do with those shit-uations that counts. Because if you have dreamed a big dream when writing your vows and embedded that dream into your vows, then opportunities will arise to take you to the next level.

In other words, THERE’S A PILE WITH A PONY IN THERE SOMEWHERE!

Here’s the teaching story behind this idea:

A small boy who lived on a farm that had lots of cows wanted a pony for Christmas. Christmas morning came and went and there was no pony anywhere near the tree or the front door. Then the young boy disappeared and when he didn’t show up for dinner his mom went looking for him.

She found him in the barn shoveling a huge pile of manure. When she asked him what he was doing he replied, “With all this manure there’s got to be a pony in there somewhere!”

I want you to learn from every situation that shows up in your life. It’s a pile in disguise with a pony (gift) hidden in it.

I want you to master every situation by taking advantage of every ‘opportunity’ . . . which is another word for ’shit-uation.’

There are four questions to ask yourself here:

* How does this ’situation’ serve us/me?
* How can we/I learn from this?
* How to we/I use this to create a better life and stay true to our/my vows?
* What’s the bigger picture here that this is forcing us/me to look at?

You outlined your dream by writing meaningful wedding vows and creating a vision for what you want your life to be like.

Now you have an opportunity to realize how and when, and where you went off course and correct it quickly.

You’ll know you went off course because you can feel it. You’re angry, sad, feel let down, lonely, etc.

Tell yourself that you will recognize when you are off course. Then make a decision to correct it. Do not let it go for even one day.

Commandment #7 is “Never go to bed angry.” Those are powerful words you want to live by.

Resolve your differences before you go to bed or you’ll ’sleep on your differences.’

Not a good thing to do!

Remember, I have three main principles to follow when it comes to vows.

1. Write your vows as a result of meaningful shared conversation where you get very clear about the dream you each have for your life together and write that down. (Your vows are the promises that you make to each other stating what you will do to keep that dream alive.)
2. Read those vows every day.
3. Practice the 10 Commandments of Marriage.

There IS a gift in every shit-uation. And just like a present, you want to unwrap it quickly to find what is hidden inside.

Because, like the pile in a barn, IT WILL START TO SMELL IMMEDIATELY!

When you get to the pile before it multiplies you can shovel it easily and quickly and get on with ‘living the dream.’

You can find out more about my innovative and life-changing philosophy and about my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages, at www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda Bardes

The Wedding Vow and LifeVow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

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Love you!