Writing Wedding Vows–Don’t Squander Your Dreams on Nay Sayers

If you began by writing your wedding or commitment vows the way I suggest, which is to talk about the dream you have of your life together but stretch your imagination bigger than you ever thought you could, you may find that some of your friends and family will try to keep you down.

They’re what has been called ‘wet blankets,’ ‘nay-sayers,’ and ‘dream eaters.’ They want you to stay like them.

Did you ever get the, “Who do you think you are?” speech growing up. It’s sort of like that.

Here’s a quote that just showed up today in mailbox: “To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.” Theodore White

You are going to get on top of that right now. One of the areas of your life together to discuss is ‘friends’ and another is ‘family.’ Will your family support your dreams; your own dreams and the dreams you have for your marriage? Are the people you hang with critical, negative or valueless?Some family and friends are just sort of naturally pessimistic and negative. They may not mean anything personal but just being around them is a downer. Guard against them by deciding that you are going to be in charge of what you think and feel.

Talk it out. Be prepared. If you let them own their own stuff you won’t spend time being angry, frustrated, or doubt yourself. Pay attention to how you feel when you are around them.

Take nothing personally. You may have to practice this but it gets easier as you do.

Make a decision that the friends you have in your life are like-minded, share your values, and are supportive. You can release the rest of them to their highest and greatest good. In most cases they will just sort of drift away. No scenes. They just stop showing up.

Your family is another story. But again, decide how you are going to react to anyone in your family who is negative or tries to steal your dreams. You know who they are. They are probably scared, sad, lost or ashamed, never had any dreams or weren’t successful. They will want you to stay the same so they won’t have to look at themselves.

If you already know that cousin Joe is going to find fault with your hopes and dreams, for heavens sake don’t share them with him! Stay in control of your life.

Only share your dreams with those friends and family members that you know are going want the best for you and help you to get it!

Just a reminder. First you write down the dream you have for your lives and the life of your marriage or partnership, then you write your vows promising to do whatever it takes to keep that dream alive. Keep reading those vows even after the ceremony and watch people, things, and ideas show up that support your dreams. That’s the law of the universe!

Another law is that like finds like. If you know who you are, dream strong dreams, stick to them, then others like you will show up. It’s sort of like a magical master mind association!

Learn how to write beautiful, meaningful vows that have the potential to keep going and going and going. Click here.

Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!