Wedding Vows-Setting Up Your Emotional Bank Account

When you begin writing your wedding or commitment vows you are actually setting up your emotional bank account against which everything you do as a couple will either be a deposit or a withdrawal.

The balance in your account will be a huge determining factor on how intimate, easy and fun your relationship is.

The promises you write into your vows are the guidelines that you can use to keep the currency flowing into instead of flowing out.

I want you to write your vows in such a way that you are depositing emotional dollars into your accounts on a daily basis. That way when there are some challenges that arise you will have the emotional capital to draw on.

If you wrote your vows as a result of outlining the dream you each have for your life and the life of your marriage, then wrote down what it is you are going to do to keep the dream alive, you have set up the parameters of your account.

By reading those vows every day, following the 10 Commandments of Marriage, and remembering you are both in it for the long haul, you set up automatic deposits.

“Every experience we have with our spouse, be it positive or negative, affects the love and balance of our relationship, says Willard F. Harley, writing in his popular book “Love Bank”. He says, we are either making deposits or withdrawals in our love bank account each day. . . Should negative feelings and bad habits dominate in a couple’s relationship, the account can be seriously overdrawn. The couple can begin to hate each other and the relationship goes into a serious deficit.”

He identifies the four most destructive habits:

1. Nagging-Nagging includes persistent faultfinding. As one comedian quips,”Women always marry a man and hope he’ll change. Men always marry a woman and hope she’ll never change.”
2. Angry Outbursts-Outbursts of anger often takes the form of shouting, put-downs, criticism, or sarcastic name-calling or attempts to punish partners because they have done something that displeases.
3. Criticism-Constant criticism of the partner is the strongest predictor of separation and divorce.
4. Irritating habits and annoying behaviors- In spite of the fact that a woman is motivated by love to change and improve her partner, her mate might perceive it not as love but as rejection and manipulation.

I think that you can take all the habits and roll them into one thing, and that’s not following commandment #2, Honoring each other.

If you are reading your vows every day and reading them together at least once a week, this is the opportunity to bring up habits and actions that each of you find annoying.

By making deposits into your emotional bank account, then these discussions can be entered into and concluded in a positive way, which automatically puts more emotional dollars into your account.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT HAVE TO BE DIFFICULT OR HARD IF YOU ATTEND TO THE LITTLE THINGS AND CONTINUE TO PUT EMOTIONAL DOLLARS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

Pick up your FREE copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage, put them in an in-your-face place, read them occasionally, practice #10 over and over and over and over again: Lighten up and laugh often!

If you only follow this one practice, your emotional bank account will be so full you’ll have to start giving some of your dividends away. People will line up to receive them. Then you have dividends coming from everyplace.

You will be rich beyond measure!

So begin writing your wedding vows with the idea that they are your banking rules. Then consciously continue making deposits.

You can download a totally free copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage by following this link. They are totally free because they are my gift to you. 10 Commandments

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

Rev. Linda has an innovative and revolutionary philosophy about the importance of writing your own personal wedding or commitment vows. It will change the way you think of vows, your relationship, and the ease with which you can do this thing called ‘marriage.’ Read more: www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com