You are going to base writing your wedding or commitment vows on a BHAG, or dream. What you want to do is to infuse this BHAG into every letter, word and phrase and create a huge Law of Attraction in the process.
BHAG stands for Big Hairy Audacious Goals! (I heard a famous and successful person use that term. I love it!) You want to live the most amazing life possible. That won’t happen if you don’t have BHAG’s for your own life and your life together as a couple.
This simple exercise is going to give you an opportunity to let your imagination fly free. Don’t be afraid to dream big. Imagine things that you can’t possibly think will ever come about. In the imagining of a thing is the potential for it’s success.
You could begin to fill in the blanks some evening over dinner and make it an ongoing monthly event. Just imagine how this can open up conversation about the impossible becoming possible. Above all, have fun with this!
In a notebook (that you can keep) write down the following headings on separate pages and number your page from 1-101:
WHAT WE WANT TO BE
WHAT WE WANT TO DO
WHAT WE WANT TO HAVE.
Why 101? No reason except it’s out of the box. Most people use 100. You can use 115, or 155, or 205. You choose.
You are not trying to fill up your notebook in one sitting. Start by entering as much as you can think of. Then be aware when new ideas come up. You might carry a small notebook and jot them down as you are aware of them. Then transfer them to your ‘big’ idea book!
Title your notebook: “____ and ___ Big Hairy Audacious Goal Book.”
Remember this is not about practicality, it’s about thinking out of the box.
Include physical, mental and spiritual aspects.
Again, everything and anything is possible so let your imagination soar. You are stretching your believability arms.
You are going for BHAG’s! Not you everyday garden variety.
If your intention is clear and you’re passionately involved in your vision, the means for achieving it will come to you. The how-to’s will simply begin to manifest in ways more magnificent than you can imagine.
Write your vows to support the dreams that you wrote. Include a line something like this: “I promise to always dream with you and imagine big goals.”
Then, of course, keep reading and reading those vows over and over and over. You will begin to see those ‘impossible’ people, places, things, ideas, situations, experiences and opportunities show up in magical and mystical ways.
THINK BIG!!
(Use this exercise for your own personal life as well as the life of your marriage.)
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes is a non-traditional minister who refers to herself as The Wedding Vow Coach. She has an unusual and innovative perspective around the importance of writing personal wedding or commitment vows. http://www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies
A beautiful marriage or partnership doesn’t just happen. However, if you attend to the little things you will not have to ‘work hard’ at your relationship. It will keep going and going and going, with just a little course correction now and then. Your potential is in your vows!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--3 Ways to Keep Them Going and Going and Going
If you think that writing your personal wedding or commitment vows and then pledging those vows at your ceremony is the end of them, think again. The power in your vows is partly in the writing, partly in the pledging, and even more importantly in keeping them alive.
Here are 3 ways you can keep your vows in front of you and active.
1. Reread those vows every single day.
2. Once a month sit down together to review the previous month.
3. Follow the 10 Commandments of Marriage
If you take little steps to keep things alive and thriving, passionate and intimate, you will not get to the point of no return, or hard work, or struggle to make things work.
You see, I contribute much of the problems with relationships to the belief that marriage takes hard work.
What if the truth is that a little attention on an ongoing basis is the best recipe for a fantastic and fabulous marriage and relationship?
What you are going to do is to continue to reinforce the dream you have for your life together.
By keeping those vows in front of you, you are actually writing a strong life operating system.
You are going to make that dream so alive that you will automatically be drawn to those things, people, opportunities, experiences and ideas that support the dream that you took time to write down as vows.
Read your vows every day. Laminate 2 copies of your vows. This way they won’t wear out.
Here are some ways to make reading your vows a habit:
* Read your vows by yourself every night before going to bed. That way you ’sleep’ on them and infuse them into your dreams.
* Read your vows by yourself every morning before going off to work. This is a great way to start your day.
* Read your vows together every night or every morning.
* If you read your vows by yourself then at least once or twice a month read them together. This opens the opportunity for meaningful conversation. Your challenges will never get away on you if you do this.
Once a month sit down and review the previous month.
If you read your vows together every day this will pretty much take care of itself. However, you might still choose to have a monthly check-in.
Choose a specific night each month and stick to it. You might have a list of questions that you answer.
Follow the 10 Commandments of Marriage.
You can print out a copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage on the WeddingVowsandCeremonies web site.
Post them in a place where you can see them often as an in-your-face reminder.
They are simple practical and easy to follow suggestions, such as ‘Live with appreciation for all things”–compliment each other often.
Since your personal wedding or commitment vows is the single most important tool that you have in your relationship toolbox, get them out and use them. They may literally save your marriage or partnership.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Here are 3 ways you can keep your vows in front of you and active.
1. Reread those vows every single day.
2. Once a month sit down together to review the previous month.
3. Follow the 10 Commandments of Marriage
If you take little steps to keep things alive and thriving, passionate and intimate, you will not get to the point of no return, or hard work, or struggle to make things work.
You see, I contribute much of the problems with relationships to the belief that marriage takes hard work.
What if the truth is that a little attention on an ongoing basis is the best recipe for a fantastic and fabulous marriage and relationship?
What you are going to do is to continue to reinforce the dream you have for your life together.
By keeping those vows in front of you, you are actually writing a strong life operating system.
You are going to make that dream so alive that you will automatically be drawn to those things, people, opportunities, experiences and ideas that support the dream that you took time to write down as vows.
Read your vows every day. Laminate 2 copies of your vows. This way they won’t wear out.
Here are some ways to make reading your vows a habit:
* Read your vows by yourself every night before going to bed. That way you ’sleep’ on them and infuse them into your dreams.
* Read your vows by yourself every morning before going off to work. This is a great way to start your day.
* Read your vows together every night or every morning.
* If you read your vows by yourself then at least once or twice a month read them together. This opens the opportunity for meaningful conversation. Your challenges will never get away on you if you do this.
Once a month sit down and review the previous month.
If you read your vows together every day this will pretty much take care of itself. However, you might still choose to have a monthly check-in.
Choose a specific night each month and stick to it. You might have a list of questions that you answer.
Follow the 10 Commandments of Marriage.
You can print out a copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage on the WeddingVowsandCeremonies web site.
Post them in a place where you can see them often as an in-your-face reminder.
They are simple practical and easy to follow suggestions, such as ‘Live with appreciation for all things”–compliment each other often.
Since your personal wedding or commitment vows is the single most important tool that you have in your relationship toolbox, get them out and use them. They may literally save your marriage or partnership.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Friday, November 14, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--What the Buddha Knows That You Don't
A quote from the Buddha came across my desk today and immediately I thought about writing personal wedding and commitment vows because what I have been trying to get through to everyone who reads my articles is this: Your thinking creates your reality!
This one discovery is the basis for my innovative philosophy around writing personal and unique wedding, marriage, commitment or life vows.
Here’s how the Buddha put it: “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our world.”
When I ask you to sit down together and talk consciously and deliberately about the life you want to live as a married couple, I am asking you to put into words exactly what it is that you want to experience in your marriage and your world.
Then I counsel you to write your vows as the promises you make to each other describing what you are willing to do to make that dream a reality.
I ask you to talk about money and sex, children, family, careers, friends, houses, cars, travel, etc. I ask you to do that so you have to actually look at what you want in your life and create a strong intention or mental picture.
You may think you know what you want but the truth is you really don’t because you drag, carry, and bring along all your old patterns, habits and thoughts.
By sitting down together and writing your own vows after consciously building a clear and focused dream for your life and the life of your marriage or partnership, you are ‘making your world with your thoughts‘ and doing it deliberately.
Deliberately, is the word.
When you craft a vision or dream deliberately you actually paint pictures in your mind. Those pictures have color, depth, sound, smell, touch and substance. When your pictures–your thoughts–are strong enough they become a magnet!
Here’s an important fact for you: Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
Your subconscious mind is that aspect of your body/mind that acts without thinking. It just does. It takes what has been programmed by our parents, extended family, culture, personal experiences, and religion, and goes about making that true. We don’t think about it we just do it.
When you take the time to sit down together and consciously and deliberately talk about the dream you have for your life and your marriage and then write it down, you are saying to Higher Power:
“Here’s the picture, here’s what we want, now go out and find things, people, experiences and ideas that match, thank you very much!”
Then when you are exposed to what matches you have the eyes and senses to recognize it.
You are ‘living the dream.’ And you didn’t even have to work hard at it.
You just had to keep it alive and in front of you.
* Reread your vows once every day.
* Do little things for each other.
* Say ‘thank you’ to each other at least once a day.
* Say ‘I love you’ every day.
* Never go to bed angry.
Let’s paraphrase what the Buddha said:
“Everything that shows up in our lives we put there. With a strong vision and powerful vows we make a world of our choice!”
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Rev. Linda Bardes is known as The Wedding Vow Coach. She has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding or commitment vows. You can read about her Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS--How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages and Partnerships, on her web site: www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
This one discovery is the basis for my innovative philosophy around writing personal and unique wedding, marriage, commitment or life vows.
Here’s how the Buddha put it: “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our world.”
When I ask you to sit down together and talk consciously and deliberately about the life you want to live as a married couple, I am asking you to put into words exactly what it is that you want to experience in your marriage and your world.
Then I counsel you to write your vows as the promises you make to each other describing what you are willing to do to make that dream a reality.
I ask you to talk about money and sex, children, family, careers, friends, houses, cars, travel, etc. I ask you to do that so you have to actually look at what you want in your life and create a strong intention or mental picture.
You may think you know what you want but the truth is you really don’t because you drag, carry, and bring along all your old patterns, habits and thoughts.
By sitting down together and writing your own vows after consciously building a clear and focused dream for your life and the life of your marriage or partnership, you are ‘making your world with your thoughts‘ and doing it deliberately.
Deliberately, is the word.
When you craft a vision or dream deliberately you actually paint pictures in your mind. Those pictures have color, depth, sound, smell, touch and substance. When your pictures–your thoughts–are strong enough they become a magnet!
Here’s an important fact for you: Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
Your subconscious mind is that aspect of your body/mind that acts without thinking. It just does. It takes what has been programmed by our parents, extended family, culture, personal experiences, and religion, and goes about making that true. We don’t think about it we just do it.
When you take the time to sit down together and consciously and deliberately talk about the dream you have for your life and your marriage and then write it down, you are saying to Higher Power:
“Here’s the picture, here’s what we want, now go out and find things, people, experiences and ideas that match, thank you very much!”
Then when you are exposed to what matches you have the eyes and senses to recognize it.
You are ‘living the dream.’ And you didn’t even have to work hard at it.
You just had to keep it alive and in front of you.
* Reread your vows once every day.
* Do little things for each other.
* Say ‘thank you’ to each other at least once a day.
* Say ‘I love you’ every day.
* Never go to bed angry.
Let’s paraphrase what the Buddha said:
“Everything that shows up in our lives we put there. With a strong vision and powerful vows we make a world of our choice!”
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Rev. Linda Bardes is known as The Wedding Vow Coach. She has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding or commitment vows. You can read about her Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS--How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages and Partnerships, on her web site: www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--No Guts, No Glory!
Writing personal wedding or commitment vows the way I suggest that you do, by sitting down together in inspired and conscious conversation, infusing the dream you have for yourself and for your life together into the vows, may take an act of courage.
Since I ask you to look at various aspects of your life together honestly and courageously as part of the process of writing your own vows, many of you most likely will have to step out of your comfort zone.
It will take courage (guts) to look at your life as you want it to be or as you imagine it to be. That’s what I call ‘the dream.’
Courage!
Maybe more people do not take the time to get clear about their life together, about their goals and what they want out of life because they are afraid that they are not actually compatible in the long run.
* They want different things
* Their values are not in alignment (She love to travel, he wants to sit home and watch sports.)
Courage!
ou will not be able to create a substantial and strong vision, or dream for your marriage if you don’t actually sit down and talk about your life together.That’s what writing wedding vows are all about: the opportunity of a lifetime!
Courage!
I want you to sit down together in conscious and inspired conversation and talk about careers, children, sex, money, in-laws, religion and spirituality, values, houses, cars, vacations, philanthropy, etc.
Get your thoughts down on paper where you have to look at them.
Courage!
You HAVE to talk about what you want. You have to get a sense if in the long term you both are on the same page.
* Do you both want the same things.
* Are your values in alignment
* Are your goals compatible
* Do your lifestyles support each other
If the match is really not there you can recognize it and talk about it. You can plan on how to create that compatibility, because you can; or you may realize that sex is all that holds you together and walk away.
Courage!
No guts, no glory!!!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Since I ask you to look at various aspects of your life together honestly and courageously as part of the process of writing your own vows, many of you most likely will have to step out of your comfort zone.
It will take courage (guts) to look at your life as you want it to be or as you imagine it to be. That’s what I call ‘the dream.’
Courage!
Maybe more people do not take the time to get clear about their life together, about their goals and what they want out of life because they are afraid that they are not actually compatible in the long run.
* They want different things
* Their values are not in alignment (She love to travel, he wants to sit home and watch sports.)
Courage!
ou will not be able to create a substantial and strong vision, or dream for your marriage if you don’t actually sit down and talk about your life together.That’s what writing wedding vows are all about: the opportunity of a lifetime!
Courage!
I want you to sit down together in conscious and inspired conversation and talk about careers, children, sex, money, in-laws, religion and spirituality, values, houses, cars, vacations, philanthropy, etc.
Get your thoughts down on paper where you have to look at them.
Courage!
You HAVE to talk about what you want. You have to get a sense if in the long term you both are on the same page.
* Do you both want the same things.
* Are your values in alignment
* Are your goals compatible
* Do your lifestyles support each other
If the match is really not there you can recognize it and talk about it. You can plan on how to create that compatibility, because you can; or you may realize that sex is all that holds you together and walk away.
Courage!
No guts, no glory!!!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Friday, November 7, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--Dogs Can Teach Us What About Marriage?
Writing your own personal and unique wedding or commitment vows can be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if you take the experience seriously and write your vows as though your married life depended on it. Because it very possibly could.
Since half of all first time marriages end in divorce, you’ve got to do everything you can to create an atmosphere of fun, trust, intimacy, and growth without making it hard or difficult.
Because we don’t have time to do things the ‘hard way.’
Infuse the dream you have for your life into your vows. Then write down and promise what you will do to keep those vows alive and thriving and growing.
You can use many resources to find ways to script those vows. I gave you 10 in the 10 Commandments of Marriage and here I offer you many more examples for you to build inspiration and truth from.
The source comes from a veternarian. The name didn’t come through the resource where I found it so I can’t give credit where it is due.
There is a short story behind it though. It seems that the beloved dog of a family with a young son had to be euthanized. The parents were concerned that the boy would be traumatized by the event. They tried to console the boy by telling him that they didn’t know why the dog had to die but that there was a reason and they couldn’t know what it was.
The young son already had it figured out, and announced, “I know why.”
His explanation was pure simplicity. He said: “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life—like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right? Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
The veterinarian who cared for this dear family pet, offered some other lessons that dogs can teach us:
* When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Dogs treat us like celebrities when we come home. There’s nothing wrong with showing people that we care about them.
* Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. On warm days, there’s nothing wrong with stopping to lie on your back on the grass. I think of Richard Gere’s character in the movie Pretty Woman. He was so busy working—doing big business deals—that he never stopped to enjoy walking barefoot in green grass until Julia Roberts showed him.
* Take naps. Many of us are on overload, so in life you have to know when to throttle up and throttle down. If you can’t take a nap, at least take a break. It will improve your disposition.
* Run, romp, and play daily. If you have a chance to have fun, go for it. Life presents plenty of difficult times, and we all need a break every now and then. My motto: work hard and play hard.
* Let people touch you. Don’t be aloof. Allow people to get close to you.
* Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. Just make sure your bark isn’t as bad as your bite. It’s okay to warn people that you’re upset or even angry, but keep your temper in check.
* When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Happiness is the American way. After all, the Declaration of Independence says we are endowed “with certain unalienable rights that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” So we have a right to be happy!
* Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Exercise is always good. I’ve been doing it all my life. It just makes me feel better, gives me energy to work more productively and, I hope, live longer. My philosophy is: Exercise doesn’t take time; it makes time.
* Be loyal. In a recent column about loyalty, I wrote that one of the first qualities that I look for in both employees and friends is loyalty. And my friends know they can expect my loyalty in return.
* If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. I’m constantly asked what the secret of success is, and persistence is at the top of the list. When you study truly successful people, you’ll see that they have made plenty of mistakes, but when they were knocked down, they kept getting up … and up … and up.
* When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. People remember two things in life—who kicked them when they were down, and who helped them on the way up.
You might write something like this into your vows: “I promise to pay attention to what nature and animals have to teach us about love and acceptance and use what I learn.”
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding and commitment vows. She believes that if a couple takes a little time to get very clear about the dream they have for their marriage, then write their vows as promises based on that dream, they have created the most important tool they can ever have in their marriage or relationship toolbox. See her website for more information and to get a FREE copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage.
Since half of all first time marriages end in divorce, you’ve got to do everything you can to create an atmosphere of fun, trust, intimacy, and growth without making it hard or difficult.
Because we don’t have time to do things the ‘hard way.’
Infuse the dream you have for your life into your vows. Then write down and promise what you will do to keep those vows alive and thriving and growing.
You can use many resources to find ways to script those vows. I gave you 10 in the 10 Commandments of Marriage and here I offer you many more examples for you to build inspiration and truth from.
The source comes from a veternarian. The name didn’t come through the resource where I found it so I can’t give credit where it is due.
There is a short story behind it though. It seems that the beloved dog of a family with a young son had to be euthanized. The parents were concerned that the boy would be traumatized by the event. They tried to console the boy by telling him that they didn’t know why the dog had to die but that there was a reason and they couldn’t know what it was.
The young son already had it figured out, and announced, “I know why.”
His explanation was pure simplicity. He said: “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life—like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right? Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
The veterinarian who cared for this dear family pet, offered some other lessons that dogs can teach us:
* When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Dogs treat us like celebrities when we come home. There’s nothing wrong with showing people that we care about them.
* Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. On warm days, there’s nothing wrong with stopping to lie on your back on the grass. I think of Richard Gere’s character in the movie Pretty Woman. He was so busy working—doing big business deals—that he never stopped to enjoy walking barefoot in green grass until Julia Roberts showed him.
* Take naps. Many of us are on overload, so in life you have to know when to throttle up and throttle down. If you can’t take a nap, at least take a break. It will improve your disposition.
* Run, romp, and play daily. If you have a chance to have fun, go for it. Life presents plenty of difficult times, and we all need a break every now and then. My motto: work hard and play hard.
* Let people touch you. Don’t be aloof. Allow people to get close to you.
* Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. Just make sure your bark isn’t as bad as your bite. It’s okay to warn people that you’re upset or even angry, but keep your temper in check.
* When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Happiness is the American way. After all, the Declaration of Independence says we are endowed “with certain unalienable rights that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” So we have a right to be happy!
* Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Exercise is always good. I’ve been doing it all my life. It just makes me feel better, gives me energy to work more productively and, I hope, live longer. My philosophy is: Exercise doesn’t take time; it makes time.
* Be loyal. In a recent column about loyalty, I wrote that one of the first qualities that I look for in both employees and friends is loyalty. And my friends know they can expect my loyalty in return.
* If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. I’m constantly asked what the secret of success is, and persistence is at the top of the list. When you study truly successful people, you’ll see that they have made plenty of mistakes, but when they were knocked down, they kept getting up … and up … and up.
* When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. People remember two things in life—who kicked them when they were down, and who helped them on the way up.
You might write something like this into your vows: “I promise to pay attention to what nature and animals have to teach us about love and acceptance and use what I learn.”
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding and commitment vows. She believes that if a couple takes a little time to get very clear about the dream they have for their marriage, then write their vows as promises based on that dream, they have created the most important tool they can ever have in their marriage or relationship toolbox. See her website for more information and to get a FREE copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--What Makes You Come Alive?
In my wedding vow and LifeVows one day events, I ask couples and individuals to answer three very important questions before writing their personal vows? The one I want to talk about right now is this one: “What makes you come alive?”
Too often one or the other of the couples will think that at some time an activity, career, or passion has to be abandoned.
While the premise might seem to be valid, due to circumstances, I want you to rethink that because if there is something in your life that has given you great passion and aliveness, driven your life on some gut level, and you give it up, you withdraw a spark and an energy that was a contributing element in your relationship.
And this is not good!
Let me tell you about a man I met today, which is what made me decide to write this article. His name is, well I’m not going to tell you so let’s just call him Jon. He’s from another country and played with a very well known rock band. I even looked it up on the Internet. This band is hot all over the world!
He fell in love with the American singer in the band, married her and moved to this country.
He has given up his career as a rock musician. I asked him whether or not he is going to see about finding another band. He said that now that he was married that wouldn’t work. He was going to ‘give up music.’
I suggested that there might be another way to channel that music and he replied to me that a baby was coming and then there would be no time, and no money to purchase musical ‘things.’ (You can see right there that I don’t know a whole lot about music.)
What I do know about is that as he withdraws his musical life and his passion for it, even if it is a legitimate exchange, he is going to bury, cut off, and supress a part of himself that is like breathing.
It is a chamber of his beating heart stuffed full of cotton!
His marriage and his child is going to suffer because the more he tries to hold that energy, that love, that passion in, the more he will become distant and unhappy.
So then, the message I have for you today about writing personal wedding vows is that when you ask yourself and each other the question: “What makes me (you) come alive” and you answer that, you must discuss how that will remain part of your lives.
I want you to write something like this into your vows: “I promise that I will encourage you to follow your passion; to help you find ways to integrate it into your life and the life of our marriage so that you will never lose your connection to yourself and your source.”
If you are reading this and you are already married make sure that you do not allow your partner to let go or break away from something that gives him or her great joy, passion and purpose. Everyone will lose.
You MUST find a way to ensure that whatever it is that makes each of you come alive will always be a part of your lives in some way.
It is true that it might have to shift gears and go in a different direction. My friend is probably reasoning rightly that at this time in his life his family is more important than playing with a band that travels all over the world.
That doesn’t mean that he can’t redirect that passion. If I have the occasion to talk to him again and the opportunity would come up I would say to him, “Block out at least 1-2 hours every week to engage in your music. Just put the word out into the Universe, ask your Higher Power, to help you find a way that will satisfy your passion.
Then watch for the ways that your desire will be fulfilled, because it will, if you are awake and aware.
It isn’t selfish.
Your marriage, your partnership and your family will benefit in untold ways by allowing that life force to flow free.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Rev. Linda Bardes is a non traditional minister with a unique and innovate philosophy about why a couple must write their own wedding or commitment vows. You can read more at her web site and on her blog. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Too often one or the other of the couples will think that at some time an activity, career, or passion has to be abandoned.
While the premise might seem to be valid, due to circumstances, I want you to rethink that because if there is something in your life that has given you great passion and aliveness, driven your life on some gut level, and you give it up, you withdraw a spark and an energy that was a contributing element in your relationship.
And this is not good!
Let me tell you about a man I met today, which is what made me decide to write this article. His name is, well I’m not going to tell you so let’s just call him Jon. He’s from another country and played with a very well known rock band. I even looked it up on the Internet. This band is hot all over the world!
He fell in love with the American singer in the band, married her and moved to this country.
He has given up his career as a rock musician. I asked him whether or not he is going to see about finding another band. He said that now that he was married that wouldn’t work. He was going to ‘give up music.’
I suggested that there might be another way to channel that music and he replied to me that a baby was coming and then there would be no time, and no money to purchase musical ‘things.’ (You can see right there that I don’t know a whole lot about music.)
What I do know about is that as he withdraws his musical life and his passion for it, even if it is a legitimate exchange, he is going to bury, cut off, and supress a part of himself that is like breathing.
It is a chamber of his beating heart stuffed full of cotton!
His marriage and his child is going to suffer because the more he tries to hold that energy, that love, that passion in, the more he will become distant and unhappy.
So then, the message I have for you today about writing personal wedding vows is that when you ask yourself and each other the question: “What makes me (you) come alive” and you answer that, you must discuss how that will remain part of your lives.
I want you to write something like this into your vows: “I promise that I will encourage you to follow your passion; to help you find ways to integrate it into your life and the life of our marriage so that you will never lose your connection to yourself and your source.”
If you are reading this and you are already married make sure that you do not allow your partner to let go or break away from something that gives him or her great joy, passion and purpose. Everyone will lose.
You MUST find a way to ensure that whatever it is that makes each of you come alive will always be a part of your lives in some way.
It is true that it might have to shift gears and go in a different direction. My friend is probably reasoning rightly that at this time in his life his family is more important than playing with a band that travels all over the world.
That doesn’t mean that he can’t redirect that passion. If I have the occasion to talk to him again and the opportunity would come up I would say to him, “Block out at least 1-2 hours every week to engage in your music. Just put the word out into the Universe, ask your Higher Power, to help you find a way that will satisfy your passion.
Then watch for the ways that your desire will be fulfilled, because it will, if you are awake and aware.
It isn’t selfish.
Your marriage, your partnership and your family will benefit in untold ways by allowing that life force to flow free.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Rev. Linda Bardes is a non traditional minister with a unique and innovate philosophy about why a couple must write their own wedding or commitment vows. You can read more at her web site and on her blog. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--Keeping the 'High Watch'
Writing wedding or commitment vows is the opportunity each of you have to talk about the highest and best intentions that you can imagine for yourself and for your partner.
Your vows are the place where you promise to support yourself and your partner in becoming the highest and best each of you can be.
The first of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is Honor Yourself. The second commandment is Honor Each Other.
It may seem strange that the first commandment is about yourself. Yet if you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust each other absolutely.
This trust is the basis for everything else that defines your life and your marriage.
Write this in your wedding vows: “I promise to hold myself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise my values.”
When you stay ‘high’ from living out of your core values and practice doing what makes you come alive, you have more patience, more love, more compassion for everyone including your partner
Here’s a priceless quote from Marianne Williamson:
“Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to support another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives. They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves.”
You are meant to access the highest parts of who you are and in the process learn to see the best in your partner.
Constantly strive to expand your capacities for learning, playing, loving, trusting, praying (whatever that means to you) and playing.
The strongest relationship develops when each partner can hold the ‘high watch’ for the other.
This means that when your partner has forgotten who they are, where they are, what they are doing, or where they are going, you remember for them.
You continue to treat them as though they were still present in their fullness.
You continue to see the best in them.
You practice forgiveness!
This may not be easy to do. That’s why it’s important to keep reading your vows over and over and over again.
Every day affirm that you are awake, aware, and living your highest and greatest good.
Write this in your vows and then put it on a card in the present moment so you have to look at it every morning:
“Everyday I will remember to live my life from the highest perspective I can imagine.”
It helps you remember every day who you are, who your partner is, where you are going and how to recognize when you are off the path.
Can you see what an amazing tool writing your own wedding or commitment vows can be? They are your compass, your map, and your course correction.
Look and read them often and you will never get lost; you will be able to continue to see the best in yourself, and the best in your partner.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows and how to keep living the dream! You can read more at www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com.
Be sure to download a copy of the FREE ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I originally wrote this for people who show up at the web site looking for help but they have only a few days or minutes to write their vows. The phrases, words, poems and other materials are helpful to everyone. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Your vows are the place where you promise to support yourself and your partner in becoming the highest and best each of you can be.
The first of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is Honor Yourself. The second commandment is Honor Each Other.
It may seem strange that the first commandment is about yourself. Yet if you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust each other absolutely.
This trust is the basis for everything else that defines your life and your marriage.
Write this in your wedding vows: “I promise to hold myself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise my values.”
When you stay ‘high’ from living out of your core values and practice doing what makes you come alive, you have more patience, more love, more compassion for everyone including your partner
Here’s a priceless quote from Marianne Williamson:
“Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to support another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives. They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves.”
You are meant to access the highest parts of who you are and in the process learn to see the best in your partner.
Constantly strive to expand your capacities for learning, playing, loving, trusting, praying (whatever that means to you) and playing.
The strongest relationship develops when each partner can hold the ‘high watch’ for the other.
This means that when your partner has forgotten who they are, where they are, what they are doing, or where they are going, you remember for them.
You continue to treat them as though they were still present in their fullness.
You continue to see the best in them.
You practice forgiveness!
This may not be easy to do. That’s why it’s important to keep reading your vows over and over and over again.
Every day affirm that you are awake, aware, and living your highest and greatest good.
Write this in your vows and then put it on a card in the present moment so you have to look at it every morning:
“Everyday I will remember to live my life from the highest perspective I can imagine.”
It helps you remember every day who you are, who your partner is, where you are going and how to recognize when you are off the path.
Can you see what an amazing tool writing your own wedding or commitment vows can be? They are your compass, your map, and your course correction.
Look and read them often and you will never get lost; you will be able to continue to see the best in yourself, and the best in your partner.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows and how to keep living the dream! You can read more at www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com.
Be sure to download a copy of the FREE ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I originally wrote this for people who show up at the web site looking for help but they have only a few days or minutes to write their vows. The phrases, words, poems and other materials are helpful to everyone. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Monday, October 27, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--"Jumping the Shark"
When you write your unique wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation infusing a dream into them and promising what you will do to keep that dream alive, you are ‘jumping the shark.’
‘Jumping the shark,’ is a phrase that came as a result of an old Fonzie episode on TV.
It’s accepted meaning is to do something radical and unusual to get back on course. But there are negative connotations also. Some definitions would say that it’s all over ‘when the Fonz has jumped.”
However, what those descriptions do not seem to take into account is that after that episode where the Fonz actually jumped on water skies over a shark contained in an enclosure, the show went on to produce 100 more episodes!
I want you to ‘jump the shark’ even before a jump is needed.
I want you to get very clear about the dream you have for your marriage. (That’s the core of my philosophy.) But I also want you to talk about an experience that sooner or later is going to come up in your marriage:
You are going to find yourself going off course . . .
You are going to realize that your relationship is in danger of becoming mediocre . . .
You will realize that your relationship needs an infusion of intimacy, energy, laughter, and conversation.
Take all this into account when you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your marriage. Be honest with each other that sooner or later your relationship is going to need a little reinvigoration; that you are going to need to give it a little boost.
I am suggesting that you to ‘jump the shark’ now and build that course correction into the writing your wedding vows.
“But, Rev. Linda,” you say. “We are so madly in love. That’s not going to change!”
I want remind you that divorce statistics prove otherwise: Fifty percent of 1st time marriages will end within 4 years.
Somehow those couples who were madly and gladly in love fell sadly and madly out of love!
If you spend some time up front that won’t happen to you. Here’s what I want you to do:
* Write your wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation.
* Talk about the dream you have for your life together.
* Be honest that the dream you gave voice to will sometimes get a little flat and the core values you established may be compromised.
* Promise to be the first to take the initiative to get things back on course.
* Write that promise into your vows: “I promise that I will be mindful our our promises to each other and take the initiative if I realize that things are not measuring up to our standards.”
* Reread your vows every day even after the ceremony. This keeps the dream and the promises right in front of you. You will be more able to recognize when things are veering off course.
What you want to do is to ‘jump the shark’ before there’s even a shark to jump. Having fun and being intimate on an ongoing basis will help you keep your dream alive and thriving.
* Make love on the kitchen floor!
* Go out for a long walk.
* Hold hands for 1 minute every day.
* Take a ’sleepover’ trip even if it is only for one night in a hotel close to home.
* I had a friend who wrapped herself in saran wrap and waited at the front door with a scissors in her hand!
* This same friend had a picnic on the living room floor in winter complete with bathing suits and an ant farm.
By writing your own vows, reviewing those vows, taking time to have fun and talk, your marriage or partnership will continue to so strong that there will be no fish big enough to need jumping!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows. See more on her web site and pick up the FREE Ebook and the totally original, 10 Commandments of Marriage.www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
‘Jumping the shark,’ is a phrase that came as a result of an old Fonzie episode on TV.
It’s accepted meaning is to do something radical and unusual to get back on course. But there are negative connotations also. Some definitions would say that it’s all over ‘when the Fonz has jumped.”
However, what those descriptions do not seem to take into account is that after that episode where the Fonz actually jumped on water skies over a shark contained in an enclosure, the show went on to produce 100 more episodes!
I want you to ‘jump the shark’ even before a jump is needed.
I want you to get very clear about the dream you have for your marriage. (That’s the core of my philosophy.) But I also want you to talk about an experience that sooner or later is going to come up in your marriage:
You are going to find yourself going off course . . .
You are going to realize that your relationship is in danger of becoming mediocre . . .
You will realize that your relationship needs an infusion of intimacy, energy, laughter, and conversation.
Take all this into account when you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your marriage. Be honest with each other that sooner or later your relationship is going to need a little reinvigoration; that you are going to need to give it a little boost.
I am suggesting that you to ‘jump the shark’ now and build that course correction into the writing your wedding vows.
“But, Rev. Linda,” you say. “We are so madly in love. That’s not going to change!”
I want remind you that divorce statistics prove otherwise: Fifty percent of 1st time marriages will end within 4 years.
Somehow those couples who were madly and gladly in love fell sadly and madly out of love!
If you spend some time up front that won’t happen to you. Here’s what I want you to do:
* Write your wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation.
* Talk about the dream you have for your life together.
* Be honest that the dream you gave voice to will sometimes get a little flat and the core values you established may be compromised.
* Promise to be the first to take the initiative to get things back on course.
* Write that promise into your vows: “I promise that I will be mindful our our promises to each other and take the initiative if I realize that things are not measuring up to our standards.”
* Reread your vows every day even after the ceremony. This keeps the dream and the promises right in front of you. You will be more able to recognize when things are veering off course.
What you want to do is to ‘jump the shark’ before there’s even a shark to jump. Having fun and being intimate on an ongoing basis will help you keep your dream alive and thriving.
* Make love on the kitchen floor!
* Go out for a long walk.
* Hold hands for 1 minute every day.
* Take a ’sleepover’ trip even if it is only for one night in a hotel close to home.
* I had a friend who wrapped herself in saran wrap and waited at the front door with a scissors in her hand!
* This same friend had a picnic on the living room floor in winter complete with bathing suits and an ant farm.
By writing your own vows, reviewing those vows, taking time to have fun and talk, your marriage or partnership will continue to so strong that there will be no fish big enough to need jumping!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Linda Bardes has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows. See more on her web site and pick up the FREE Ebook and the totally original, 10 Commandments of Marriage.www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-The Sneaky Approach
Getting your partner to agree to and participate in writing wedding or commitment vows might seem like a stretch of your imagination but I can give you a way to make writing your vows fun and he/she won’t even know that you are doing it until it’s too late to turn back.
This may be a bit sneaky and shameless but considering that writing your wedding vows can be one of the most important things you can ever to do to ensure the longevity, passion and intimacy of your relationship, I know you want to do everything you can to get this into motion.
Here’s what you are going to do. You and your partner are going to create a vision board!
This is just one of the idea generators you can find in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages.
A vision board is where you paste pictures and phrases that represent the dreams and goals you each have for yourselves and the dream you have for your marriage. Your vows will reflect those dreams. Maybe we could call your marriage or commitment vows ‘vision vows!’
Because that’s really what your vows are. The more energy in your vows, the more power there is to attract to you everything that you want and need to support your perfect dream.
Start collecting magazines on all sorts of subjects including travel, houses, furniture, family, fitness, etc. Make sure that you have the sort of print media that your partner is interested in. You should know him or her well enough to get the perfect stuff.
You can go to Google and click on ‘Images’ then keyword in what you are looking for, find something you can print out and you have instant images of your life together. Maybe you have phrases in mind. You can print out these also.
Ask your friends for magazines. If you are in a dentist or doctor’s office and the magazines are really old ask if you can have the one that you want.
Get together pictures taken of the two of you doing fun things and pictures that represent the emotional and physical closeness that is the cornerstone of a relationship and marriage.
You will need glue and scissors and poster board or foam board (for longevity). The pictures and words will represent aspects of your life.
Don’t get too bossy or direct the outcome. Just tell your partner that the two of you are going to cut out and glue pictures and words that represent what it is that you want to attract into your life and let the process unfold. Have fun. Don’t be too serious.
When you have finished the board each of you explain to the other the meaning of the pictures and phrases. Between the two of you most subjects will be covered.
Here’s where some of the sneaky stuff comes in. When your partner talks about the meaning of the images and words on the board ask questions to get to the heart of the overall dream for the marriage.
“What does that mean to you? How do you see ‘us’ in that picture?”
“What do you think we can do to make that happen?”
“There are no children in the picture. Don’t you want children?”
“Who will handle the money? How can we share this responsibility so that we are saving to be able to have what we want?”
That will give you some idea. You can come up with your own.
What I am asking you to do is to get to the essence of the dream for your life together.
That dream is what you build into your vows. You wedding vows are not the dream explained; they are the foundation that the vows are build on.
Your vows are for the purpose of making promises to each other explaining what you will do to support the dream.
Now it’s time to tell your partner what you have done.
Use reason here. Don’t get cocky and say something like, “Ha, Ha, I tricked you into telling me your secrets.”
Tell him or her that you want to write vows based around what you just talked about. Get out some paper and then begin to write down those promises. If you can do it right then and there that is best because the emotion and expectations of and for the dream are at their peak.
Here is what you can say: “Let’s write down what we are going to do to keep our dreams alive?”
“I promise to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy for both our sakes.”
“I will love you by encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.”
“I promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream alive and active.”
You can find more helpful phrases in the FREE Ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I wrote this for couples who don’t have time to use my longer version. It would be helpful for you using this ‘vision board’ process.
There you have it. Your ‘vision vows.’
Was that fun or what!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
This may be a bit sneaky and shameless but considering that writing your wedding vows can be one of the most important things you can ever to do to ensure the longevity, passion and intimacy of your relationship, I know you want to do everything you can to get this into motion.
Here’s what you are going to do. You and your partner are going to create a vision board!
This is just one of the idea generators you can find in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages.
A vision board is where you paste pictures and phrases that represent the dreams and goals you each have for yourselves and the dream you have for your marriage. Your vows will reflect those dreams. Maybe we could call your marriage or commitment vows ‘vision vows!’
Because that’s really what your vows are. The more energy in your vows, the more power there is to attract to you everything that you want and need to support your perfect dream.
Start collecting magazines on all sorts of subjects including travel, houses, furniture, family, fitness, etc. Make sure that you have the sort of print media that your partner is interested in. You should know him or her well enough to get the perfect stuff.
You can go to Google and click on ‘Images’ then keyword in what you are looking for, find something you can print out and you have instant images of your life together. Maybe you have phrases in mind. You can print out these also.
Ask your friends for magazines. If you are in a dentist or doctor’s office and the magazines are really old ask if you can have the one that you want.
Get together pictures taken of the two of you doing fun things and pictures that represent the emotional and physical closeness that is the cornerstone of a relationship and marriage.
You will need glue and scissors and poster board or foam board (for longevity). The pictures and words will represent aspects of your life.
Don’t get too bossy or direct the outcome. Just tell your partner that the two of you are going to cut out and glue pictures and words that represent what it is that you want to attract into your life and let the process unfold. Have fun. Don’t be too serious.
When you have finished the board each of you explain to the other the meaning of the pictures and phrases. Between the two of you most subjects will be covered.
Here’s where some of the sneaky stuff comes in. When your partner talks about the meaning of the images and words on the board ask questions to get to the heart of the overall dream for the marriage.
“What does that mean to you? How do you see ‘us’ in that picture?”
“What do you think we can do to make that happen?”
“There are no children in the picture. Don’t you want children?”
“Who will handle the money? How can we share this responsibility so that we are saving to be able to have what we want?”
That will give you some idea. You can come up with your own.
What I am asking you to do is to get to the essence of the dream for your life together.
That dream is what you build into your vows. You wedding vows are not the dream explained; they are the foundation that the vows are build on.
Your vows are for the purpose of making promises to each other explaining what you will do to support the dream.
Now it’s time to tell your partner what you have done.
Use reason here. Don’t get cocky and say something like, “Ha, Ha, I tricked you into telling me your secrets.”
Tell him or her that you want to write vows based around what you just talked about. Get out some paper and then begin to write down those promises. If you can do it right then and there that is best because the emotion and expectations of and for the dream are at their peak.
Here is what you can say: “Let’s write down what we are going to do to keep our dreams alive?”
“I promise to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy for both our sakes.”
“I will love you by encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.”
“I promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream alive and active.”
You can find more helpful phrases in the FREE Ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I wrote this for couples who don’t have time to use my longer version. It would be helpful for you using this ‘vision board’ process.
There you have it. Your ‘vision vows.’
Was that fun or what!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--Whose Model is it Anyway?
You will write your own personal and unique wedding vows based on certain expectations you have for your life.
I refer to this as the dream you have for your life together. By being clear about the way your want your life together to be, writing it down as vows and then pledging and promising what you will do to keep those vows alive, thriving, vital and intimate you stand a better chance of living the life of your dreams.
Yet what if those dreams are almost entirely driven by the models you have had in your life? Your parents, your grandparents, your friends parents, and other couples close to you. All of them have influenced your life in ways you can’t imagine.
Those models drive the behaviors that run your relationships. Those behaviors are what I am referring to as your default operating system.
So I will ask you two questions: Are you repeating the behaviors of the people who came before you? Do you want to repeat those behaviors?
This is not a judgmental question. I ask it just so you will have to think about the answer.
Were your models strong, loving, supportive models or were they weak or dysfunctional?
That awareness and honesty can change your life!
I want you to get as clear as you can how you want your life to be like. Forget the ‘what is my purpose’ stuff. You can’t wait around to find out your purpose. Get clear about what you want your life to be like and create a dream from that. Your purpose will appear as you live your best life.
You do not have to throw out the baby with the bathwater, however. Be aware of what aspects of your models you want to keep. Forget about what you don’t want. You want to focus on the positive and life-enhancing attitudes and habits.
What you focus on is what you will reproduce! Which is why it is good if you train yourself to see only what supports the life you want to lead.
Review those vows over and over again. As you do that you keep that dream of the life you want to live in front of you. The way you react to life, to each other, to situations and experiences will begin to change because you begin to reprogram your default operating system.
You are going to add new emotional software that little by little erases and reprograms your life.
Then if anyone asks you, “Whose life is this anyway?” you will be able to answer, MINE!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
I refer to this as the dream you have for your life together. By being clear about the way your want your life together to be, writing it down as vows and then pledging and promising what you will do to keep those vows alive, thriving, vital and intimate you stand a better chance of living the life of your dreams.
Yet what if those dreams are almost entirely driven by the models you have had in your life? Your parents, your grandparents, your friends parents, and other couples close to you. All of them have influenced your life in ways you can’t imagine.
Those models drive the behaviors that run your relationships. Those behaviors are what I am referring to as your default operating system.
So I will ask you two questions: Are you repeating the behaviors of the people who came before you? Do you want to repeat those behaviors?
This is not a judgmental question. I ask it just so you will have to think about the answer.
Were your models strong, loving, supportive models or were they weak or dysfunctional?
That awareness and honesty can change your life!
I want you to get as clear as you can how you want your life to be like. Forget the ‘what is my purpose’ stuff. You can’t wait around to find out your purpose. Get clear about what you want your life to be like and create a dream from that. Your purpose will appear as you live your best life.
You do not have to throw out the baby with the bathwater, however. Be aware of what aspects of your models you want to keep. Forget about what you don’t want. You want to focus on the positive and life-enhancing attitudes and habits.
What you focus on is what you will reproduce! Which is why it is good if you train yourself to see only what supports the life you want to lead.
Review those vows over and over again. As you do that you keep that dream of the life you want to live in front of you. The way you react to life, to each other, to situations and experiences will begin to change because you begin to reprogram your default operating system.
You are going to add new emotional software that little by little erases and reprograms your life.
Then if anyone asks you, “Whose life is this anyway?” you will be able to answer, MINE!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Monday, October 20, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-A One Page Miracle in Disguise
Your wedding or commitment vows are actually a dream in disguise. They have the potential to attract to you, with absolute precision, what you really, really want, in your individual lives and the life of the marriage.
That won’t happen if you don’t have a clear and powerful dream and vision:
* For yourself
* For your spouse or partner
* For your marriage or partnership
This is what I want you to know about why you must write your own wedding vows so they have a life beyond the end of the ceremony. . .
So they keep going and going and going . . .
So they live as long as the two of you do . . .
So they really can become a one page miracle!
You write your vows together in shared and inspired conversation, infusing the dream you have for your life together into every letter, word and sentence. You don’t actually write your dream word for word into your vows, however. Your vows are for the purpose of promising what it is you will do to keep the dream alive and sizzling. They are for the purpose of creating a one page miracle!
I want you to take a little time to get yourselves prepared before you sit down together to talk about your life and your vows.
Do you realize that most couples never take the time to talk about important things. Things like money and sex–the two most quoted reasons for divorce–and children and careers and spirituality or religion, or in-laws, or houses and cars and things are often never brought up.
Amazing!
Here’s a quote from someone who picked up one of the brochures for my one day event:
“I am going through a divorce right now. When I read your brochure I realized that my husband and I did not take any time to talk about important areas of our life. If we had a program like this I believe things would have been different!” Anne S.
Before you sit down together to write your vows take a little time to think about some of those areas of your married life.
Write each aspect or area out on a separate card. Then every once in a while pick up one card and carry it around with you. Place it in a conspicuous spot so you will be reminded of it. Then pay attention to the thoughts that pop into your head. Or the conversations you hear around you.
You may find articles in magazines, or turn on Oprah and right there is someone discussing that very topic. You will be surprised at where and how insights and thoughts or answers come to you.
When I say ‘you,’ I mean the two of you. This is not good if both of you are not engaged on some level in ‘big’ thinking.
I want you to come up with what some of the big thinkers refer to as Big Hairy Audacious Goals. You want your goals and your dreams to be too big for the two of you to effect on your own. I want you to tap into an invisible power that knows how to bring to you everything you need to be ‘living’ that BHAG.
You are going to have an amazing life that just keeps going and going and going and going because you are going to use one of the most important discoveries ever!
It’s this: Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined!
That one discovery about how the mind works has vast and very important implications for you because you can make your mind believe whatever you want.
You create a BIG dream, you write it into your vows by promising to do whatever it takes to live that dream, and then you keep reviewing those vows over and over and over until you have installed those vows as your personal operating system.
All that from your vows. I would call that a mega miracle in disguise!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples to write down the dream and then live it!
I help you to write down the dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages and Partnerships.
That won’t happen if you don’t have a clear and powerful dream and vision:
* For yourself
* For your spouse or partner
* For your marriage or partnership
This is what I want you to know about why you must write your own wedding vows so they have a life beyond the end of the ceremony. . .
So they keep going and going and going . . .
So they live as long as the two of you do . . .
So they really can become a one page miracle!
You write your vows together in shared and inspired conversation, infusing the dream you have for your life together into every letter, word and sentence. You don’t actually write your dream word for word into your vows, however. Your vows are for the purpose of promising what it is you will do to keep the dream alive and sizzling. They are for the purpose of creating a one page miracle!
I want you to take a little time to get yourselves prepared before you sit down together to talk about your life and your vows.
Do you realize that most couples never take the time to talk about important things. Things like money and sex–the two most quoted reasons for divorce–and children and careers and spirituality or religion, or in-laws, or houses and cars and things are often never brought up.
Amazing!
Here’s a quote from someone who picked up one of the brochures for my one day event:
“I am going through a divorce right now. When I read your brochure I realized that my husband and I did not take any time to talk about important areas of our life. If we had a program like this I believe things would have been different!” Anne S.
Before you sit down together to write your vows take a little time to think about some of those areas of your married life.
Write each aspect or area out on a separate card. Then every once in a while pick up one card and carry it around with you. Place it in a conspicuous spot so you will be reminded of it. Then pay attention to the thoughts that pop into your head. Or the conversations you hear around you.
You may find articles in magazines, or turn on Oprah and right there is someone discussing that very topic. You will be surprised at where and how insights and thoughts or answers come to you.
When I say ‘you,’ I mean the two of you. This is not good if both of you are not engaged on some level in ‘big’ thinking.
I want you to come up with what some of the big thinkers refer to as Big Hairy Audacious Goals. You want your goals and your dreams to be too big for the two of you to effect on your own. I want you to tap into an invisible power that knows how to bring to you everything you need to be ‘living’ that BHAG.
You are going to have an amazing life that just keeps going and going and going and going because you are going to use one of the most important discoveries ever!
It’s this: Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined!
That one discovery about how the mind works has vast and very important implications for you because you can make your mind believe whatever you want.
You create a BIG dream, you write it into your vows by promising to do whatever it takes to live that dream, and then you keep reviewing those vows over and over and over until you have installed those vows as your personal operating system.
All that from your vows. I would call that a mega miracle in disguise!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples to write down the dream and then live it!
I help you to write down the dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages and Partnerships.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows–Tap Into the Sizzle of the Universe
The time around your wedding or commitment ceremony and the writing of your personal vows is the most highly charged time you will ever experience as a couple and you can consciously use it.
What happens is that there is all this energy and creative excitement focused around you and You and YOU! The florist, the caterer, the cake maker, the wedding planner, the wedding attire people, your family, the guests, absolutely everyone is focused on your best life.
This creates an energy that sizzles like an electrical storm. It’s the entire world praying on your behalf with absolutely no doubt of the outcome. Whatever you introduce into this storm is what will get taken up and reproduced in magical and mystical ways. I want you to consciously tap into this spiritual or universal potential. I want you to create strong, powerful personal wedding vows.
Those vows are like a super strong magnet. They become synergistic. That means that 1 + 1 does not equal 2 it equals 11!
There will only be a few times in your life as a couple that will carry the same positive attention and energy of so many people. This highly charged energy can be consciously directed to create a powerful future.
The power and potential that I am talking about comes from sitting down and having a shared conversation about what is important: To the marriage and to each of you individually. Do not go off into corners to write vows and surprise each other. I want you to weave magic by creating a strong and powerful intention and that has to be done together!
When you are mindful about what it is that you want to experience in your relationship and marriage, talk it out, play with it, shape it a bit, and write it into your vows. When you do that your vows become a powerful blueprint or intention for the future. You literally explode the probability of that dream being true.
Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is true and what isn’t–science has proven this–your mind and Higher Power goes to work bringing in people, things and experiences that support those powerful desires.
Please . . . do not squander this time.
Write powerful wedding or commitment vows. Dream BIG. Give the Universe something splendid to unfold for you. It’s just waiting for you to choose.
I can help you do that with my guidelines for writing ‘vows that create powerful marriages.” Check out the Secret Life of Wedding Vows.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
What happens is that there is all this energy and creative excitement focused around you and You and YOU! The florist, the caterer, the cake maker, the wedding planner, the wedding attire people, your family, the guests, absolutely everyone is focused on your best life.
This creates an energy that sizzles like an electrical storm. It’s the entire world praying on your behalf with absolutely no doubt of the outcome. Whatever you introduce into this storm is what will get taken up and reproduced in magical and mystical ways. I want you to consciously tap into this spiritual or universal potential. I want you to create strong, powerful personal wedding vows.
Those vows are like a super strong magnet. They become synergistic. That means that 1 + 1 does not equal 2 it equals 11!
There will only be a few times in your life as a couple that will carry the same positive attention and energy of so many people. This highly charged energy can be consciously directed to create a powerful future.
The power and potential that I am talking about comes from sitting down and having a shared conversation about what is important: To the marriage and to each of you individually. Do not go off into corners to write vows and surprise each other. I want you to weave magic by creating a strong and powerful intention and that has to be done together!
When you are mindful about what it is that you want to experience in your relationship and marriage, talk it out, play with it, shape it a bit, and write it into your vows. When you do that your vows become a powerful blueprint or intention for the future. You literally explode the probability of that dream being true.
Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is true and what isn’t–science has proven this–your mind and Higher Power goes to work bringing in people, things and experiences that support those powerful desires.
Please . . . do not squander this time.
Write powerful wedding or commitment vows. Dream BIG. Give the Universe something splendid to unfold for you. It’s just waiting for you to choose.
I can help you do that with my guidelines for writing ‘vows that create powerful marriages.” Check out the Secret Life of Wedding Vows.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows is Like Putting Money in the Bank!
Wedding or commitment vows are for the purpose of creating dreams that give a couple passion for life and each other, according to Linda Bardes, ‘The Wedding Vow Coach’
The reason a couple writes their own personal wedding or commitment vows is to create an opportunity to sit down together and have what may well be the most important conversation the couple could ever have in their entire married life.
What I’m asking you to do is take a little time to create a mental picture of the life you want to lead. I want you to dream the biggest dream you can think of then deposit that into the treasury of your subconscious mind to create a Law of Attraction.
By talking about money and sex, careers, children , in-laws, religion or spirituality, houses and cars, travel, food, health, and philanthropy or any aspect of their marriage that will be of importance in the next 5-10 years, you will begin to infuse that dream into what could be called the operating system of your lives.
As you talk about the dream write it down on paper. This is for the purpose of getting it out and down on paper.
The dream is not the vows. The vows are a result of the dream. The vows are the promises you make to each other saying what each of you will do to keep that dream alive.”
I want you to be so inspired by the dream or vision you have of your life together that you will be willing to invest attention on making daily deposits into the emotional bank account of your marriage. Because, sooner or later you will have some challenges and if the bank account of your marriage is empty there will be nothing to draw on.”
Another aspect of writing vows that is is equally important is revisiting the vows.
When the ceremony is over, you are not finished with your vows. The power is in repeating those vows over and over and over again. Just like a pianist practices a symphony until it is installed in memory, so you will continues to review your vows every day until those vows becomes the chief operating system of your lives.
Sometimes you will read those vows alone and other times together. By reading them together you open doors for conversation. That way no problem or situation ever gets so completely off tract that you forget what the real problem is.
When you install your dream into your mind and your body so that it becomes a way of life, through the Law of Attraction everything you need to support your dream–the people, things, opportunities, ideas, and experiences–will show up almost effortlessly. Like a miracle.”
Indeed, you could call your vows a one-page-miracle because of the spiritual and emotional power infused in them.
I don’t want to tell you that there won’t be challenges. But if you keeps the vision or dream alive and vital, investing small amounts of physical and emotional currency, the marriage doesn’t have to be hard work. Intimacy thrives.
Reading those vows and putting attention on the little things, like saying ‘I love you’ every day, praising and complimenting each other often, never going to bed angry, holding hands for one minute every day, reading the vows every day, writing little notes, are all currency that will pay big dividends.”
You can find out more about Rev. Bardes and her work around writing wedding or commitment vows by following this link. or click on sign up on right.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Weddng Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
The reason a couple writes their own personal wedding or commitment vows is to create an opportunity to sit down together and have what may well be the most important conversation the couple could ever have in their entire married life.
What I’m asking you to do is take a little time to create a mental picture of the life you want to lead. I want you to dream the biggest dream you can think of then deposit that into the treasury of your subconscious mind to create a Law of Attraction.
By talking about money and sex, careers, children , in-laws, religion or spirituality, houses and cars, travel, food, health, and philanthropy or any aspect of their marriage that will be of importance in the next 5-10 years, you will begin to infuse that dream into what could be called the operating system of your lives.
As you talk about the dream write it down on paper. This is for the purpose of getting it out and down on paper.
The dream is not the vows. The vows are a result of the dream. The vows are the promises you make to each other saying what each of you will do to keep that dream alive.”
I want you to be so inspired by the dream or vision you have of your life together that you will be willing to invest attention on making daily deposits into the emotional bank account of your marriage. Because, sooner or later you will have some challenges and if the bank account of your marriage is empty there will be nothing to draw on.”
Another aspect of writing vows that is is equally important is revisiting the vows.
When the ceremony is over, you are not finished with your vows. The power is in repeating those vows over and over and over again. Just like a pianist practices a symphony until it is installed in memory, so you will continues to review your vows every day until those vows becomes the chief operating system of your lives.
Sometimes you will read those vows alone and other times together. By reading them together you open doors for conversation. That way no problem or situation ever gets so completely off tract that you forget what the real problem is.
When you install your dream into your mind and your body so that it becomes a way of life, through the Law of Attraction everything you need to support your dream–the people, things, opportunities, ideas, and experiences–will show up almost effortlessly. Like a miracle.”
Indeed, you could call your vows a one-page-miracle because of the spiritual and emotional power infused in them.
I don’t want to tell you that there won’t be challenges. But if you keeps the vision or dream alive and vital, investing small amounts of physical and emotional currency, the marriage doesn’t have to be hard work. Intimacy thrives.
Reading those vows and putting attention on the little things, like saying ‘I love you’ every day, praising and complimenting each other often, never going to bed angry, holding hands for one minute every day, reading the vows every day, writing little notes, are all currency that will pay big dividends.”
You can find out more about Rev. Bardes and her work around writing wedding or commitment vows by following this link. or click on sign up on right.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Weddng Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows--It's Wake Up Time for Your Cells
In case you thought I was joking about biochemistry and how it drives our lives and how by writing your own wedding vows and continuing to review those vows on a regular basis you can actually affect and sustain the level of intimacy in your relationship, I am adding a little copy that came in an Email from Joe Vitale. He is promoting the book, Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton.
“The Biology of Belief” will forever change how you think about your own thinking. Stunning new scientific discoveries about the biochemical effects of the brain’s functioning show that all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.
Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D., a renowned cell biologist, describes the precise molecular pathways through which this occurs. Using simple language, illustrations, humor, and everyday examples, he demonstrates how the new science of Epigenetics is revolutionizing our understanding of the link between mind and matter and the profound effects it has on our personal lives and the collective life of our species.
And writing your own personal wedding or commitment vows!
The line to pay attention to is the line ” all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.”
Remember that silly song, “Every little cell of my body is happy. Every little cell of my body is fine?” You can wake up your cells, introduce some positive affirmations (your wedding or commitment vows) and permanently live the life you have imagined.
I am suggesting that you write your wedding or commitment vows as a result of a shared conversation. Talk about your life together and visit aspects of your marriage or partnership, such as money, sex, family, careers, houses, cars, etc. Get emotional, exaggerate your dream.
What you are doing is energizing, entertaining and installing an actual physical chemical pattern. When you continue to revisit and reinvigorate that pattern by rereading your vows over and over and over and over again eventually it becomes permanent. At some point, just like learning to play the piano, you will have committed that pattern to memory and you will be playing, or living, it with ease.
I am asking you to consciously give voice to a dream or vivid vision that you pledge or promise to support in your vows and then continue to review those vows over and over and over and over.
In your case you are not so much trying to change your thoughts as to take the passion and persistence that you arrived at in your relationship and maintain it, heighten it and expand it in beautiful and measurable ways that then becomes your every day experience. With ease. That’s what I mean about your vows affecting your biochemistry.
This is incredible stuff.
As Jeff Herrick, the Article Guy says, “Go use this stuff!” (GUTS)
Here’s a link to my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS. This will help you get that cell transforming dream down on paper. Check out the blog for lots more articles.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
“The Biology of Belief” will forever change how you think about your own thinking. Stunning new scientific discoveries about the biochemical effects of the brain’s functioning show that all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.
Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D., a renowned cell biologist, describes the precise molecular pathways through which this occurs. Using simple language, illustrations, humor, and everyday examples, he demonstrates how the new science of Epigenetics is revolutionizing our understanding of the link between mind and matter and the profound effects it has on our personal lives and the collective life of our species.
And writing your own personal wedding or commitment vows!
The line to pay attention to is the line ” all the cells of your body are affected by your thoughts.”
Remember that silly song, “Every little cell of my body is happy. Every little cell of my body is fine?” You can wake up your cells, introduce some positive affirmations (your wedding or commitment vows) and permanently live the life you have imagined.
I am suggesting that you write your wedding or commitment vows as a result of a shared conversation. Talk about your life together and visit aspects of your marriage or partnership, such as money, sex, family, careers, houses, cars, etc. Get emotional, exaggerate your dream.
What you are doing is energizing, entertaining and installing an actual physical chemical pattern. When you continue to revisit and reinvigorate that pattern by rereading your vows over and over and over and over again eventually it becomes permanent. At some point, just like learning to play the piano, you will have committed that pattern to memory and you will be playing, or living, it with ease.
I am asking you to consciously give voice to a dream or vivid vision that you pledge or promise to support in your vows and then continue to review those vows over and over and over and over.
In your case you are not so much trying to change your thoughts as to take the passion and persistence that you arrived at in your relationship and maintain it, heighten it and expand it in beautiful and measurable ways that then becomes your every day experience. With ease. That’s what I mean about your vows affecting your biochemistry.
This is incredible stuff.
As Jeff Herrick, the Article Guy says, “Go use this stuff!” (GUTS)
Here’s a link to my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS. This will help you get that cell transforming dream down on paper. Check out the blog for lots more articles.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows–Guidelines for Keeping Intimacy Alive and Well
This is a post about writing wedding vows. But it’s also a post about keeping intimacy alive. Because intimacy is the emotional ‘glue’ that keeps a relationship fresh, and sizzling. Writing personal wedding or commitment vows is a way for a couple outline what they will do to keep and maintain the intimate life of their marriage and relationship.
A while ago I wrote a post about keeping a marriage or relationship alive by activating biochemicals through sex.
I still think sex is an important topic and what I have been trying to get across to couples is that through taking the time to sit down together and get very clear about the dream they have for their marriage by discussing aspects of their life like money, and sex, and children, and in-laws, careers, fun activities, houses, cars, philanthropy, etc. they are better equipped to keep intimacy and their sex life alive.
Intimacy is a big loaded word. I did research a while ago about what women want and what men want and what I found is that men and women want the same things–intimacy. According to the sources I read, women want emotional intimacy and men want sexual intimacy.
However, after reading some of the commentary from a TV show that Oprah did with marriage counselor, M Gary Neuman, author of The Truth About Cheating, it became obvious to me that the reason men equate intimacy with sex is that they don’t know how to go about establishing a truly emotional and intimate connection with their partner.
Here’s a quote from the show: “It’s not just about having sex; it’s about emotional attachments. It’s about showing your private self to others. It’s about going to another person for what you should be holding personal for your wife, and continuing to put your energy somewhere else draws you that much more away and [makes it] harder to get back to your spouse.”
Women don’t really know how to go about creating intimacy either. There seems to be some built-in genetic something or other–that mother thing–that is helpful but women are as hard pressed as men to ‘know’ what or how to do this thing called intimacy.
Writing wedding vows together, however, forces a couple to actually think about, talk about, write about and then pledge what they will do to keep the ‘dream’ alive. That dream has a lot of elements such as money and sex, careers, houses and cars, but it is even more about establishing a conscious intimate connection that they can then build on and keep nourishing.
Writing and pledging wedding or commitment vows is not the end all and be all, but it is a beginning, and by repeating and rereading those vows over and over and over again the couple locks in their dream and it becomes their life operating system.
Rereading their vows together also creates opportunities for conversation so that problems can be solved almost before they begin.
The real work comes in setting up some guidelines to follow. That is what writing wedding or commitment vows are for. To establish guidelines that help a couple create a powerful, intimate, and sustainable marriage.
I want you to have the best life possible and not to have to ‘work’ at it so hard, because working at putting a marriage or relationship back together after it has cracked is where the ‘hard’ work really is.
Create a dream for your life and the life of your marriage, infuse that dream with excitement and passion, getting clear about all the important aspects and elements of what makes up a successful life and relationship. Tell your partner what you need from him or her to help you keep those dreams alive. That should be included in your vows.
Because your vows are all about what you are going to do to keep the dream alive.
See my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows, to help you in your quest for the most amazing life ever!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
A while ago I wrote a post about keeping a marriage or relationship alive by activating biochemicals through sex.
I still think sex is an important topic and what I have been trying to get across to couples is that through taking the time to sit down together and get very clear about the dream they have for their marriage by discussing aspects of their life like money, and sex, and children, and in-laws, careers, fun activities, houses, cars, philanthropy, etc. they are better equipped to keep intimacy and their sex life alive.
Intimacy is a big loaded word. I did research a while ago about what women want and what men want and what I found is that men and women want the same things–intimacy. According to the sources I read, women want emotional intimacy and men want sexual intimacy.
However, after reading some of the commentary from a TV show that Oprah did with marriage counselor, M Gary Neuman, author of The Truth About Cheating, it became obvious to me that the reason men equate intimacy with sex is that they don’t know how to go about establishing a truly emotional and intimate connection with their partner.
Here’s a quote from the show: “It’s not just about having sex; it’s about emotional attachments. It’s about showing your private self to others. It’s about going to another person for what you should be holding personal for your wife, and continuing to put your energy somewhere else draws you that much more away and [makes it] harder to get back to your spouse.”
Women don’t really know how to go about creating intimacy either. There seems to be some built-in genetic something or other–that mother thing–that is helpful but women are as hard pressed as men to ‘know’ what or how to do this thing called intimacy.
Writing wedding vows together, however, forces a couple to actually think about, talk about, write about and then pledge what they will do to keep the ‘dream’ alive. That dream has a lot of elements such as money and sex, careers, houses and cars, but it is even more about establishing a conscious intimate connection that they can then build on and keep nourishing.
Writing and pledging wedding or commitment vows is not the end all and be all, but it is a beginning, and by repeating and rereading those vows over and over and over again the couple locks in their dream and it becomes their life operating system.
Rereading their vows together also creates opportunities for conversation so that problems can be solved almost before they begin.
The real work comes in setting up some guidelines to follow. That is what writing wedding or commitment vows are for. To establish guidelines that help a couple create a powerful, intimate, and sustainable marriage.
I want you to have the best life possible and not to have to ‘work’ at it so hard, because working at putting a marriage or relationship back together after it has cracked is where the ‘hard’ work really is.
Create a dream for your life and the life of your marriage, infuse that dream with excitement and passion, getting clear about all the important aspects and elements of what makes up a successful life and relationship. Tell your partner what you need from him or her to help you keep those dreams alive. That should be included in your vows.
Because your vows are all about what you are going to do to keep the dream alive.
See my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows, to help you in your quest for the most amazing life ever!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-Using the 7 Tools of Creation
When writing personal weddings or commitment vows, there is a way to do it so that those vows can be the template for something spectacular. By using the 7 tools of creation, an individual, or a couple, can create something of lasting value that can defy all the odds. And do it easily.
The seven tools of creation to use when writing your wedding or commitment vows are:
* Thought or contemplation
* Writing
* Talking
* Pledging or promising
* Review and repetition
* Affirmations and prayer
* Saying ‘Thank you!’
Thinking-By taking a question, or a particular idea you need clarification on, in this case the life of a marriage or committed relationship, and allowing it to roll around in your mind and in your life, you open yourself to expanding your thoughts to arrive at new and bigger ways of living your life. You are not trying to make anything happen. You are open to a higher way of thinking that can come in many ways through books, magazines, radio or TV, casual conversations, intuition, etc.
By making a conscious decision that you want a higher perspective and answer, and voicing that to yourself, you set in motion a process of ‘allowing’ where information, ideas, and awarenesses just sort of ’show up.’
Writing-Writing allow you to ’see’ your thoughts. They become more real and you have a greater perspective because you are outlining, describing, or concluding. The process helps you to access many parts of your brain. By writing an idea out you can more easily decide if you are actually clear about your thoughts on a particular subject. I’ve been at workshops where the answers to important questions were written with the non-dominant hand. This bypasses some judgmental thought processes to get to a raw essence of an idea.
You may write about your wedding vows and the dream you have for your life together more than once. By writing about your life and your dreams, for yourself or your relationship, you can get into the feeling, the picture and the emotion of the thing, thereby driving the energetic pattern into the cells of your body. In metaphysics we call this ‘embodying an idea.’ This means that you have ingrained the idea or made it your operating system so that you will automatically do, be, and say what it is that supports the dream you have crafted for your life together.
Talking-Talking takes your thoughts to a higher level and accesses other parts of your brain. By actually hearing your dream for your life explained or expressed in words you speak, your vision is amplified. It becomes more real. The template you have created, becomes what can be called the Law of Attraction. As it is impressed into a unified field of awareness that field, or God, or the Universe, or Spirit, or whatever you want to call it, begins to go to work for you on your behalf. Bring you to people, things, experiences, ideas and awarenesses that support your dream or your vision.
By talking about your life together as you work through the process of writing your wedding vows, you are establishing an intimacy for each other and the dream you have for your marriage or partnership that you can easily return to.
Pledging or promising-When you promise to do whatever it takes for you to stay on purpose and in passion of and for the dream you wrote into your wedding vows you are becoming a decision maker. There is power in a decision. You activate an energy that helps keep you going even when there are tough times. Robert Schuller has a great phrase he made into a book: ‘Tough times never last, but tough people do.’ Promising to stick with something until you have made it your operating system, or your way of life, activates will power, right thinking and right action.
Reviewing-When you have written and pledged your vows you are not finished with them. You are going to take those wedding vows, and read them over and over and over again. Every day! The more you read those vows, the more real they become. The more real they feel, the stronger a magnet they are. Everything you need to be living your dream shows up, almost magically and mystically. So keep rereading them over and over and over and over!
You are learning to play the symphony of your life. Every great master of any subject practiced it over and over and over again until they had that skill ingrained in their minds and bodies and the very fabric of their lives.
Affirmation/prayer-This is where you ask for help! In affirmation or prayer you are affirming that there is something bigger than you are, call it a Higher Power, that can take some of the load off, that knows how to do anything, and is delighting in ‘pressing down to overflowing’ everything you want and need to make your life extraordinary, passionate, creative, prosperous, meaningful, and fulfilling. This is where you stop trying to make things happen and allow them to happen to you by reminding yourself that you are worthy, that you deserve to be living your dream, that there is nothing that can block, hinder, slow down or other wise keep your good from you.
This is where you get out of your own way!
Saying ‘Thank You’-The bible says that before Jesus prayed he would say,’ Thank you, Father, for answering my prayer.” He ‘knew’ before he even finished the prayer that the outcome was a given. So every day you begin your day by saying ‘thank you:’ to yourself, to Higher Power, the Universe, your family, your life, and everything in your world. You are in effect opening your arms, your mind and your life for good to come from everywhere in every form.
Another way of saying ‘thank you’ is to give voice for all the good things that show. This includes, parking spots, someone who went out of their way to be helpful, for a good idea, for your partner. In fact, for everything that shows up. Get in the habit of saying ‘thank you’ for just about everything. You are also saying to the Universe, ‘I appreciate all I have and you can bring me more.’ The more you have the more you can give away, which is another way of saying ‘thank you!’
I want you to have the most amazing life possible. If you take a little time once in a while to stop, think, write, speak, pledge, review, pray or affirm and say ‘thank you,’ you will have retooled your life to seeing, experiencing and sharing the spirit of possibility.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples and individuals write down the dream and then live it!
www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
The seven tools of creation to use when writing your wedding or commitment vows are:
* Thought or contemplation
* Writing
* Talking
* Pledging or promising
* Review and repetition
* Affirmations and prayer
* Saying ‘Thank you!’
Thinking-By taking a question, or a particular idea you need clarification on, in this case the life of a marriage or committed relationship, and allowing it to roll around in your mind and in your life, you open yourself to expanding your thoughts to arrive at new and bigger ways of living your life. You are not trying to make anything happen. You are open to a higher way of thinking that can come in many ways through books, magazines, radio or TV, casual conversations, intuition, etc.
By making a conscious decision that you want a higher perspective and answer, and voicing that to yourself, you set in motion a process of ‘allowing’ where information, ideas, and awarenesses just sort of ’show up.’
Writing-Writing allow you to ’see’ your thoughts. They become more real and you have a greater perspective because you are outlining, describing, or concluding. The process helps you to access many parts of your brain. By writing an idea out you can more easily decide if you are actually clear about your thoughts on a particular subject. I’ve been at workshops where the answers to important questions were written with the non-dominant hand. This bypasses some judgmental thought processes to get to a raw essence of an idea.
You may write about your wedding vows and the dream you have for your life together more than once. By writing about your life and your dreams, for yourself or your relationship, you can get into the feeling, the picture and the emotion of the thing, thereby driving the energetic pattern into the cells of your body. In metaphysics we call this ‘embodying an idea.’ This means that you have ingrained the idea or made it your operating system so that you will automatically do, be, and say what it is that supports the dream you have crafted for your life together.
Talking-Talking takes your thoughts to a higher level and accesses other parts of your brain. By actually hearing your dream for your life explained or expressed in words you speak, your vision is amplified. It becomes more real. The template you have created, becomes what can be called the Law of Attraction. As it is impressed into a unified field of awareness that field, or God, or the Universe, or Spirit, or whatever you want to call it, begins to go to work for you on your behalf. Bring you to people, things, experiences, ideas and awarenesses that support your dream or your vision.
By talking about your life together as you work through the process of writing your wedding vows, you are establishing an intimacy for each other and the dream you have for your marriage or partnership that you can easily return to.
Pledging or promising-When you promise to do whatever it takes for you to stay on purpose and in passion of and for the dream you wrote into your wedding vows you are becoming a decision maker. There is power in a decision. You activate an energy that helps keep you going even when there are tough times. Robert Schuller has a great phrase he made into a book: ‘Tough times never last, but tough people do.’ Promising to stick with something until you have made it your operating system, or your way of life, activates will power, right thinking and right action.
Reviewing-When you have written and pledged your vows you are not finished with them. You are going to take those wedding vows, and read them over and over and over again. Every day! The more you read those vows, the more real they become. The more real they feel, the stronger a magnet they are. Everything you need to be living your dream shows up, almost magically and mystically. So keep rereading them over and over and over and over!
You are learning to play the symphony of your life. Every great master of any subject practiced it over and over and over again until they had that skill ingrained in their minds and bodies and the very fabric of their lives.
Affirmation/prayer-This is where you ask for help! In affirmation or prayer you are affirming that there is something bigger than you are, call it a Higher Power, that can take some of the load off, that knows how to do anything, and is delighting in ‘pressing down to overflowing’ everything you want and need to make your life extraordinary, passionate, creative, prosperous, meaningful, and fulfilling. This is where you stop trying to make things happen and allow them to happen to you by reminding yourself that you are worthy, that you deserve to be living your dream, that there is nothing that can block, hinder, slow down or other wise keep your good from you.
This is where you get out of your own way!
Saying ‘Thank You’-The bible says that before Jesus prayed he would say,’ Thank you, Father, for answering my prayer.” He ‘knew’ before he even finished the prayer that the outcome was a given. So every day you begin your day by saying ‘thank you:’ to yourself, to Higher Power, the Universe, your family, your life, and everything in your world. You are in effect opening your arms, your mind and your life for good to come from everywhere in every form.
Another way of saying ‘thank you’ is to give voice for all the good things that show. This includes, parking spots, someone who went out of their way to be helpful, for a good idea, for your partner. In fact, for everything that shows up. Get in the habit of saying ‘thank you’ for just about everything. You are also saying to the Universe, ‘I appreciate all I have and you can bring me more.’ The more you have the more you can give away, which is another way of saying ‘thank you!’
I want you to have the most amazing life possible. If you take a little time once in a while to stop, think, write, speak, pledge, review, pray or affirm and say ‘thank you,’ you will have retooled your life to seeing, experiencing and sharing the spirit of possibility.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples and individuals write down the dream and then live it!
www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Friday, September 26, 2008
Writing Personal Wedding Vows Amplifies Your Intentions
I want you to get so clear about the dream you have of your life together that when you write your own personal wedding or commitment vows you will be so inspired by the dream of your relationship that you will be willing to invest some attention on installing that dream as your life operating system.
Here’s what happens: When you put your attention on your ‘intention’ it is automatically amplified. It grows, is exposed, it becomes real. You can touch it, taste it, feel it, and experience it.
Put your attention on something that isn’t working and you get more of it. Because the laws of the Universe respond to the energy of your attention. It has shape and color and acts like a magnet.
If you are creating a magnet you want it to bring you what you really, really want!
The fact that 50% of marriages fail within 4 years proves to me that the couple . . .
1. Did not have a clear dream of their life together.
2. Did not take time to articulate or talk it out and write it down.
3. If they did have a dream they talked about, they did not take the steps necessary to keep it alive.
The major opinion is that marriage is hard work. I am telling you that if you keep the vision alive and well your marriage doesn’t have to be hard work.
I don’t want to tell you you won’t have some challenges. But your marriage does not have to be hard work. We are a generation that is so busy we do not have time to make things hard. It does take some attention, though.
You have to keep your ‘eyes on the prize,’ or on the dream you have for your life together.
The statistics show that 50% of 1st marriages end within 4 years. Something happened so that when those challenges showed up that was where the attention went and it grew bigger and bigger and bigger.
I want you to have such a clear intention that your troubles that you do encounter are so small they are overshadowed by the dream you have of your life together.
Here is what you must do. . .
Take a little time together to articulate the dream you have for your life and the life of your marriage. Talk about important aspects like sex and money, and children, and in-laws, and careers, and houses,and cars, and play time and philanthropy. This is the hardest part. Yet is essential.
Then write your vows and pledge or promise to do whatever it is you need to do to be living that dream.
Keep reading those vows over and over and over and over after the ceremony and like the energizer bunny, your marriage will keep going and going and going.
Because by reading those vows you will be putting your attention on your intention, which is to have a fabulous, intimate, amazing life together.
When you keep your dream alive and in feeling mode you begin to see with new eyes. You literally notice things, people, ideas, and experiences you would have never noticed before. They are all aspects of your imaginary dream in ‘living color.’
It’s not any different than buying something and then seeing it everywhere around you! It was there all along only your eyes were not opened to see it.
You open your life and your mind to ’see’ your dream by paying attention.
Attention, attention, attention.
Review, review, review.
Now, here’s another secret. When you are aware that you are ‘living the dream’ say “Thank you.”
What you are doing is anchoring in your experience and saying to the Universe that “You can bring me more of that!”
I can help you. See my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS and my blog.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Here’s what happens: When you put your attention on your ‘intention’ it is automatically amplified. It grows, is exposed, it becomes real. You can touch it, taste it, feel it, and experience it.
Put your attention on something that isn’t working and you get more of it. Because the laws of the Universe respond to the energy of your attention. It has shape and color and acts like a magnet.
If you are creating a magnet you want it to bring you what you really, really want!
The fact that 50% of marriages fail within 4 years proves to me that the couple . . .
1. Did not have a clear dream of their life together.
2. Did not take time to articulate or talk it out and write it down.
3. If they did have a dream they talked about, they did not take the steps necessary to keep it alive.
The major opinion is that marriage is hard work. I am telling you that if you keep the vision alive and well your marriage doesn’t have to be hard work.
I don’t want to tell you you won’t have some challenges. But your marriage does not have to be hard work. We are a generation that is so busy we do not have time to make things hard. It does take some attention, though.
You have to keep your ‘eyes on the prize,’ or on the dream you have for your life together.
The statistics show that 50% of 1st marriages end within 4 years. Something happened so that when those challenges showed up that was where the attention went and it grew bigger and bigger and bigger.
I want you to have such a clear intention that your troubles that you do encounter are so small they are overshadowed by the dream you have of your life together.
Here is what you must do. . .
Take a little time together to articulate the dream you have for your life and the life of your marriage. Talk about important aspects like sex and money, and children, and in-laws, and careers, and houses,and cars, and play time and philanthropy. This is the hardest part. Yet is essential.
Then write your vows and pledge or promise to do whatever it is you need to do to be living that dream.
Keep reading those vows over and over and over and over after the ceremony and like the energizer bunny, your marriage will keep going and going and going.
Because by reading those vows you will be putting your attention on your intention, which is to have a fabulous, intimate, amazing life together.
When you keep your dream alive and in feeling mode you begin to see with new eyes. You literally notice things, people, ideas, and experiences you would have never noticed before. They are all aspects of your imaginary dream in ‘living color.’
It’s not any different than buying something and then seeing it everywhere around you! It was there all along only your eyes were not opened to see it.
You open your life and your mind to ’see’ your dream by paying attention.
Attention, attention, attention.
Review, review, review.
Now, here’s another secret. When you are aware that you are ‘living the dream’ say “Thank you.”
What you are doing is anchoring in your experience and saying to the Universe that “You can bring me more of that!”
I can help you. See my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS and my blog.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-It's All About Biochemistry
What if, when you write your own personal wedding vows, you are actually affecting your biochemistry? What if you can stay inspired and in passion–purposefully? What if your wedding, marriage or commitment vows can help you do that?
OK, here it is again: you write your own wedding vows to have what may well be the most important conversation you could ever have as a couple! You take the essence of that conversation and write it into your vows. You keep those vows active by reviewing them over and over and over and over and over again.
Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, one of the best-known experts in the field of biochemistry, believes that we’re at the mercy of our biochemistry.
Wow. That sounds like we don’t have any control over ourselves at all.
While I do believe that we have built-in reactions programmed by genetics. I also believe that as we take control of our lives we affect the way our mind/bodies think, work, play, love, and dream, etc. and then that same biochemistry, which can become an enemy, becomes our friend.
Helen says there are three stages in romantic relationships: lust, attraction, and attachment.
All of them have specific hormones, chemicals, and neurotransmitters involved. They control the way you feel exhilarated and think obsessively of one person; how fast your heart beats and how you sweat; how you bond and how you stay in long-term commitments.
Wow! All that because of tiny microscopic chains of something or other.
Scott Peck wrote in one of his books, ‘falling in love is the trick nature plays on us for the propagation of the species.’
This is a good thing and this is a bit of a bad thing.
Good for obvious reasons and bad because it takes us out of our rational mind into a reactive mind.
What I’m asking you to do is to write your wedding or commitment vows out of your rational mind. Lying in each others arms promising to love, cherish and honor each other for ever and ever and ever is not from the rational mind.
Don’t misunderstand me. This is a good thing. But in order for you to take control over your biochemistry, your hormones, etc. you have to be in a conscious and rational mind, not a reactive mind.
That’s what I’m asking you to do when you write your vows.
Consciously talk about your life together. Talk it BIG. Talk about money, talk about, family, talk about careers, talk about sex. Talk about how you are going to keep sex alive.
Because, there are two hormones released by each partner during orgasm that helps them bond, oxytocin and vasopressin. This helps support behavior that leads to long-term commitment. When you think and talk about the life you want to lead and get it down on paper and then continue to review those words, you enter into the emotion that created those words.
You are activating hormones, chemicals and neurotransmitters that keep your life, your love, your passion, your attachment and commitment alive and thriving.
By reviewing those vows you reinvigorate the emotion and affect your chemistry.
All that just from writing your own personal wedding vows and continuing to review them.
Amazing isn’t it?
Go right now and follow this link to pick up the Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages. Maybe I should rename it-’How to Write Vows that Affect Your Biochemistry!’
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
OK, here it is again: you write your own wedding vows to have what may well be the most important conversation you could ever have as a couple! You take the essence of that conversation and write it into your vows. You keep those vows active by reviewing them over and over and over and over and over again.
Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, one of the best-known experts in the field of biochemistry, believes that we’re at the mercy of our biochemistry.
Wow. That sounds like we don’t have any control over ourselves at all.
While I do believe that we have built-in reactions programmed by genetics. I also believe that as we take control of our lives we affect the way our mind/bodies think, work, play, love, and dream, etc. and then that same biochemistry, which can become an enemy, becomes our friend.
Helen says there are three stages in romantic relationships: lust, attraction, and attachment.
All of them have specific hormones, chemicals, and neurotransmitters involved. They control the way you feel exhilarated and think obsessively of one person; how fast your heart beats and how you sweat; how you bond and how you stay in long-term commitments.
Wow! All that because of tiny microscopic chains of something or other.
Scott Peck wrote in one of his books, ‘falling in love is the trick nature plays on us for the propagation of the species.’
This is a good thing and this is a bit of a bad thing.
Good for obvious reasons and bad because it takes us out of our rational mind into a reactive mind.
What I’m asking you to do is to write your wedding or commitment vows out of your rational mind. Lying in each others arms promising to love, cherish and honor each other for ever and ever and ever is not from the rational mind.
Don’t misunderstand me. This is a good thing. But in order for you to take control over your biochemistry, your hormones, etc. you have to be in a conscious and rational mind, not a reactive mind.
That’s what I’m asking you to do when you write your vows.
Consciously talk about your life together. Talk it BIG. Talk about money, talk about, family, talk about careers, talk about sex. Talk about how you are going to keep sex alive.
Because, there are two hormones released by each partner during orgasm that helps them bond, oxytocin and vasopressin. This helps support behavior that leads to long-term commitment. When you think and talk about the life you want to lead and get it down on paper and then continue to review those words, you enter into the emotion that created those words.
You are activating hormones, chemicals and neurotransmitters that keep your life, your love, your passion, your attachment and commitment alive and thriving.
By reviewing those vows you reinvigorate the emotion and affect your chemistry.
All that just from writing your own personal wedding vows and continuing to review them.
Amazing isn’t it?
Go right now and follow this link to pick up the Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages. Maybe I should rename it-’How to Write Vows that Affect Your Biochemistry!’
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-Repetition and Visualization are Keys to Success
Did you know that when you craft a vivid vision for your marriage and then infuse that vision into your vows, you are actually installing a visualization into them? It’s one of the tools successful individuals use to bring their goals and dreams into reality.
I want you to have passion in your life; sustained passion and purpose that doesn’t get watered down with your daily lives.
Your vows are an amazing and powerful tool for you and if you use them correctly they will help you grow and sustain your dreams.
You not only create or craft a vivid vision and dream by writing your vows together in shared and inspired conversation, but by reviewing those vows over and over and over again you begin to ‘visualize’ the outcome of your life even before you are actually living it.
And you hardly know you are doing it.
Then you take everything one step further and consciously practice visualizing the two of you actually living, breathing, touching, tasting, and experiencing your life.
The sequence is this: You write your vows, you pledge them at your ceremony, you read your vows over and over and then you synergize them by actually visualizing your outcome.
Repetition and visualization are your keys to success for two reasons.
1. Your mind thinks in pictures and images.
2. Your subconscious mind drives your behavior.
Science has discovered that your mind doesn’t know the difference betweens something that is real and something that is vividly imagined. Whatever you keep picturing and confirming will reproduce itself in your life.
Your subconscious mind will move you into the actions that align with the mental image you keep affirming.
Your mind will do this almost effortlessly if you take some time and effort to program it with your dream.
It’s a natural sequence to read your vows before you go to sleep, then when you put your head on the pillow to drift of with the visualization of what you read, your subconscious will go to work as you sleep!
I can help you get it all started. THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages and Partnership, will help you to create the picture you need to use the visualization tool.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
I want you to have passion in your life; sustained passion and purpose that doesn’t get watered down with your daily lives.
Your vows are an amazing and powerful tool for you and if you use them correctly they will help you grow and sustain your dreams.
You not only create or craft a vivid vision and dream by writing your vows together in shared and inspired conversation, but by reviewing those vows over and over and over again you begin to ‘visualize’ the outcome of your life even before you are actually living it.
And you hardly know you are doing it.
Then you take everything one step further and consciously practice visualizing the two of you actually living, breathing, touching, tasting, and experiencing your life.
The sequence is this: You write your vows, you pledge them at your ceremony, you read your vows over and over and then you synergize them by actually visualizing your outcome.
Repetition and visualization are your keys to success for two reasons.
1. Your mind thinks in pictures and images.
2. Your subconscious mind drives your behavior.
Science has discovered that your mind doesn’t know the difference betweens something that is real and something that is vividly imagined. Whatever you keep picturing and confirming will reproduce itself in your life.
Your subconscious mind will move you into the actions that align with the mental image you keep affirming.
Your mind will do this almost effortlessly if you take some time and effort to program it with your dream.
It’s a natural sequence to read your vows before you go to sleep, then when you put your head on the pillow to drift of with the visualization of what you read, your subconscious will go to work as you sleep!
I can help you get it all started. THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages and Partnership, will help you to create the picture you need to use the visualization tool.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Your Wedding Vows are the Vision of The Life You Want to Lead
My philosophy about writing personal wedding vows and creating a strong and beautiful relationship is mainly about sitting down together and consciously and deliberately crafting a vision for your life and the life of your marriage and then infusing that dream into your vows.
James Ray, one of the guys in the movie, The Secret, sent me an Email newsletter today with the following. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Keep in mind your wedding vows and the dream you have for a fabulous, and fantastic future.
See blog for rest of article.
Love, light and laughter, Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
James Ray, one of the guys in the movie, The Secret, sent me an Email newsletter today with the following. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Keep in mind your wedding vows and the dream you have for a fabulous, and fantastic future.
See blog for rest of article.
Love, light and laughter, Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Writing Wedding Vows-The Secret Life of Vows
I have cracked the code on writing wedding vows!
This is ground breaking stuff!
Because, the truth about wedding vows is that your vows have the potential to attract to you everything you could ever want in your life or marriage!
That won’t happen if you don’t have a clear and powerful dream and vision.
· For yourself.
· For your spouse or partner,
· For your marriage or partnership
Here’s what I want you to know about why you must write your own wedding vows so they have a life beyond the end of the ceremony.
You write your own wedding vows to create what may well be called a 'One Page Miracle.'
Read more about the Secret Life of Vows.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
This is ground breaking stuff!
Because, the truth about wedding vows is that your vows have the potential to attract to you everything you could ever want in your life or marriage!
That won’t happen if you don’t have a clear and powerful dream and vision.
· For yourself.
· For your spouse or partner,
· For your marriage or partnership
Here’s what I want you to know about why you must write your own wedding vows so they have a life beyond the end of the ceremony.
You write your own wedding vows to create what may well be called a 'One Page Miracle.'
Read more about the Secret Life of Vows.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-An Exercise in Imagination and BIG Thinking
You might want to use the idea I present in this post as a way to begin to consciously craft a dream for your life together. It can be a basis for the vows that you write. It’s an exercise in thinking BIG that becomes a powerful intention. Most personal motivators have used this and continue to use it on a regular basis because it forces them to keep expanding their expectations.
This simple exercise is going to give you an opportunity to let your imagination fly free. Don’t be afraid to dream big. Imagine things that you can’t possibly think will ever come about. In the imagining of a thing is the potential for it’s success.
You could begin to fill in the blanks some evening over dinner and make it an ongoing monthly event. Just imagine how this can open up conversation about the impossible becoming possible.
In a notebook (that you can keep) write down the following headings on separate pages and number your page from 1-101:
WHAT WE WANT TO BE
WHAT WE WANT TO DO
WHAT WE WANT TO HAVE.
You are not trying to fill it all in at one time but enter as much as you can think of.
Remember this is not about practicality, it’s about thinking out of the box.
Include physical, mental and spiritual aspects.
Again, everything and anything is possible so let your imagination soar. You are stretching your believability arms.
If your intention is clear and you’re passionately involved in your vision, the means for achieving it will come to you. The how-to’s will simply begin to manifest in ways more magnificent than you can imagine.
Write your vows to support the dreams that you wrote. Include a line something like this: “I promise to always dream with you and imagine the most that is possible.”
Then, of course, keep reading and reading those vows over and over and over. You will begin to see those ‘impossible’ people, places, things, ideas, situations, experiences and opportunities show up in magical and mystical ways.
THINK BIG!!
(Use this exercise for your own personal life as well as the life of your marriage.)
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
See, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows
This simple exercise is going to give you an opportunity to let your imagination fly free. Don’t be afraid to dream big. Imagine things that you can’t possibly think will ever come about. In the imagining of a thing is the potential for it’s success.
You could begin to fill in the blanks some evening over dinner and make it an ongoing monthly event. Just imagine how this can open up conversation about the impossible becoming possible.
In a notebook (that you can keep) write down the following headings on separate pages and number your page from 1-101:
WHAT WE WANT TO BE
WHAT WE WANT TO DO
WHAT WE WANT TO HAVE.
You are not trying to fill it all in at one time but enter as much as you can think of.
Remember this is not about practicality, it’s about thinking out of the box.
Include physical, mental and spiritual aspects.
Again, everything and anything is possible so let your imagination soar. You are stretching your believability arms.
If your intention is clear and you’re passionately involved in your vision, the means for achieving it will come to you. The how-to’s will simply begin to manifest in ways more magnificent than you can imagine.
Write your vows to support the dreams that you wrote. Include a line something like this: “I promise to always dream with you and imagine the most that is possible.”
Then, of course, keep reading and reading those vows over and over and over. You will begin to see those ‘impossible’ people, places, things, ideas, situations, experiences and opportunities show up in magical and mystical ways.
THINK BIG!!
(Use this exercise for your own personal life as well as the life of your marriage.)
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
See, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-How Compatible Are You Anyway?
When I give my seminars for writing your own personal wedding vows, I take it as a success if a couple decides that they are not compatible enough to follow through with their wedding.
Truthfully, it hasn’t happened yet, but it could and is probably only a matter of time.
What I want to share with you today is some material I heard from a marriage coach on a TV show that I listened in on too late to get everything. She was talking about the 7 questions to ask yourselves when it comes to whether or not you are compatible.
I only got 5. But these five are still very important. Here they are:
1. Have I set my own separate identity? Do you have other friends and activities outside the relationship that give you a strong sense of self. Times have changed. It used to be that a woman married her husband and took on his identity and his dreams and goals. It’s vastly different these days.
2. Are your financial personalities compatible? How do you handle money? Is one of you a spender and the other a saver? How do you handle debt? Who pays the bills? All these are questions that should be answered early on.
3. What are your goals and your career aspirations? Do you both want children? Will someone stay home with them? Who? If the opportunity came up would you move somewhere else if you didn’t know anyone there?
4. What are your spiritual needs? What is the role of religion in your life?
5. Are your ideas of fun compatible? Does your partner like physical activities like backpacking and you would rather go to the movies? Is your partner a sportsaholic and you don’t care who is playing what or where or when? Does you partner like to engage in activities like golf but you aren’t interested.
That’s the end of my notes. I’m going to add two of my own. These are questions that I have my couples spend some time with at the seminars and when getting ready to write their own personal wedding or marriage or commitment.
6. What are your values? Values are more than not lying and cheating. Some of them you will have covered in the above questions. Here are a few to think about: money, sex, self acceptance, religion and spirituality, competition, community, extended family, team work, knwledge, loyalty, beauty, philanthropy, etc. On a score of 1-10, how do you rate the importance of each topic?
Here is a quote from the 10 Commandments of Marriage: Commandment #1-Honor Yourself- “When you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust other people, your partner, and the universe at large. it’s the basis for everything else that defines your life.” (Go to the wedding vow eBook page link and follow the link for a totally free copy of 10 Commandments or go to www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com )
7. What makes you come alive? What do you love? Here’s a quote by Howard Thurston, “Do not ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and then go out and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” When you are loving what you do then life is a whole lot easier.
A lot to chew on, isn’t it? Take it all a bite at a time. Print out this article and then take one question at a time.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Truthfully, it hasn’t happened yet, but it could and is probably only a matter of time.
What I want to share with you today is some material I heard from a marriage coach on a TV show that I listened in on too late to get everything. She was talking about the 7 questions to ask yourselves when it comes to whether or not you are compatible.
I only got 5. But these five are still very important. Here they are:
1. Have I set my own separate identity? Do you have other friends and activities outside the relationship that give you a strong sense of self. Times have changed. It used to be that a woman married her husband and took on his identity and his dreams and goals. It’s vastly different these days.
2. Are your financial personalities compatible? How do you handle money? Is one of you a spender and the other a saver? How do you handle debt? Who pays the bills? All these are questions that should be answered early on.
3. What are your goals and your career aspirations? Do you both want children? Will someone stay home with them? Who? If the opportunity came up would you move somewhere else if you didn’t know anyone there?
4. What are your spiritual needs? What is the role of religion in your life?
5. Are your ideas of fun compatible? Does your partner like physical activities like backpacking and you would rather go to the movies? Is your partner a sportsaholic and you don’t care who is playing what or where or when? Does you partner like to engage in activities like golf but you aren’t interested.
That’s the end of my notes. I’m going to add two of my own. These are questions that I have my couples spend some time with at the seminars and when getting ready to write their own personal wedding or marriage or commitment.
6. What are your values? Values are more than not lying and cheating. Some of them you will have covered in the above questions. Here are a few to think about: money, sex, self acceptance, religion and spirituality, competition, community, extended family, team work, knwledge, loyalty, beauty, philanthropy, etc. On a score of 1-10, how do you rate the importance of each topic?
Here is a quote from the 10 Commandments of Marriage: Commandment #1-Honor Yourself- “When you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust other people, your partner, and the universe at large. it’s the basis for everything else that defines your life.” (Go to the wedding vow eBook page link and follow the link for a totally free copy of 10 Commandments or go to www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com )
7. What makes you come alive? What do you love? Here’s a quote by Howard Thurston, “Do not ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and then go out and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” When you are loving what you do then life is a whole lot easier.
A lot to chew on, isn’t it? Take it all a bite at a time. Print out this article and then take one question at a time.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it.
www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-What We Can Learn From Political Speeches
I was thinking last night, after listening to the vice president candidate for the Republican Party, Sarah Palin, about how the format of electoral speeches is a bit like the format for writing wedding or marriage vows.
There seems to be three main parts to the speech.
1. Who am I, where did I come from and what do I stand for
2. What is the dream I’m trying to sell you on
3. This is what I’m willing to do to make that dream come true
Let’s see how this translates into the writing of your vows.
Let’s start with ‘who I am.’ You could write something like this: “I am the most lucky woman in the world to be marrying my soul mate, my love, the light of my life. You have added a dimension to my life that I cherish. With you I have dreamed bigger than I ever thought I could and believed in myself with more passion than ever before.”
Then the dream. I suggest that to get the most out of your vows you sit down together and talk about the life you want to live together. (I give you more guidelines and idea generators in my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
What are the elements that will make it an amazing life? What will it look like, feel like (as in a hand resting on your shoulder or holding hands), feel like (energy, passion, and comfort), taste like (late night spaghetti dinners by candlelight with wine after the kids are tucked tight in bed-if you want kids and have you talked about that?) sound like (lots of laughter, singing, encouraging conversation and affirmations), look like (where are you living, what are the ‘things’ that compliment your family). “We have created a dream that will give us the energy to keep striving for the best in ourselves and in each other. We have affirmed that we will seek to grow together, to keep our passion alive, to be models for our children and others and make a difference in the world.”
Next the promise. What are you willing to do to keep the dream alive? Some of the answer to this question has to do with your own sweet self. “I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.” “I will honor who I am by living from my values and my integrity and be impeccable with my word.”
“I will love you by always making our relationship a priority in my life.” “I will love you be encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.” “I will promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream we have crafted alive and growing.”
That should just about do it for today.
Except for this. Political speeches usually seem to be pointing fingers at others and throwing cold water on who they are and what they are offering. That is not an option in your life.
You life is about supporting each other, building each other up when there are times your partner doesn’t know who they are or whether they are even living up to their own expectations of themselves.
Your life is about sometimes seeing more than is visible and continuing to affirm that the dream is alive and well!
Keep living the dream. Follow the RSS feed to sign up to receive postings as they appear.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach-Helping couples ‘live the dream.’
“Email me. I want to know what you’re thinking.” RevLinda@weddingvowsandceremonies.com
There seems to be three main parts to the speech.
1. Who am I, where did I come from and what do I stand for
2. What is the dream I’m trying to sell you on
3. This is what I’m willing to do to make that dream come true
Let’s see how this translates into the writing of your vows.
Let’s start with ‘who I am.’ You could write something like this: “I am the most lucky woman in the world to be marrying my soul mate, my love, the light of my life. You have added a dimension to my life that I cherish. With you I have dreamed bigger than I ever thought I could and believed in myself with more passion than ever before.”
Then the dream. I suggest that to get the most out of your vows you sit down together and talk about the life you want to live together. (I give you more guidelines and idea generators in my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding Vows. www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com
What are the elements that will make it an amazing life? What will it look like, feel like (as in a hand resting on your shoulder or holding hands), feel like (energy, passion, and comfort), taste like (late night spaghetti dinners by candlelight with wine after the kids are tucked tight in bed-if you want kids and have you talked about that?) sound like (lots of laughter, singing, encouraging conversation and affirmations), look like (where are you living, what are the ‘things’ that compliment your family). “We have created a dream that will give us the energy to keep striving for the best in ourselves and in each other. We have affirmed that we will seek to grow together, to keep our passion alive, to be models for our children and others and make a difference in the world.”
Next the promise. What are you willing to do to keep the dream alive? Some of the answer to this question has to do with your own sweet self. “I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.” “I will honor who I am by living from my values and my integrity and be impeccable with my word.”
“I will love you by always making our relationship a priority in my life.” “I will love you be encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.” “I will promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream we have crafted alive and growing.”
That should just about do it for today.
Except for this. Political speeches usually seem to be pointing fingers at others and throwing cold water on who they are and what they are offering. That is not an option in your life.
You life is about supporting each other, building each other up when there are times your partner doesn’t know who they are or whether they are even living up to their own expectations of themselves.
Your life is about sometimes seeing more than is visible and continuing to affirm that the dream is alive and well!
Keep living the dream. Follow the RSS feed to sign up to receive postings as they appear.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach-Helping couples ‘live the dream.’
“Email me. I want to know what you’re thinking.” RevLinda@weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Writing Wedding Vows-Vow to Never Go to Bed Angry
One of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is to Never Go To Bed Angry. It’s a good line to add to your vows when writing your own vows. But the commandments are not the only resource to use that phrase.
I’ve been casually going through Wilfred Peterson’s poem, The Art of Marriage and today I want to talk about the line, “Never go to bed angry.”
I thought this idea was so important I put it into the 10 Commandments of Marriage. It’s #7. I’m going to move it up to #5 and follow it with ‘Do little things for each other.” and 8, “Go out on dates.” (You can get a free copy at my website) www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
The reason I’m moving it up in importance is that I realize that if you don’t clear the air before you go to sleep then it’s harder to do little things for each other the next day because there is a tension that interferes with your thinking.
That tension is there because if you go to bed with all those unresolved emotions that is what you sleep on. That is what you wake up to. You’ll probably not even read your vows as I have suggested you do every night.
Reading your vows every night is powerful but not a magic elixor if you ignore the tension between the two of you.
Make no bones about it, if you have unresolved issues between the two of you then you will not put your focus where it needs to be the next day. You will be caught in distraction that really could be dangerous. Or you miss opportunities.
But the worst of it is that whatever distance the situation caused will continue to grow wider and wider until it seems cavernous, like the Grand Canyon.
At some point you will begin to add other things and annoyances to the situation and even forget what the real problem was.
One of the reasons why I want you and your partner to write your vows together is for more than giving voice to a dream of your life together. It is to set in motion a remembered intimate situation that was totally nonthreatening.
Before you even get into bed resolve your differences.
Talking out your frustration, anger, sadness, or disappointment at night will save you time, energy and mistakes the next day.
Read more about vows, marriage, 'writing down the dream' and 'living the dream'at my website, www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com and www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples ‘write down the dream’ and then live it!
I’ve been casually going through Wilfred Peterson’s poem, The Art of Marriage and today I want to talk about the line, “Never go to bed angry.”
I thought this idea was so important I put it into the 10 Commandments of Marriage. It’s #7. I’m going to move it up to #5 and follow it with ‘Do little things for each other.” and 8, “Go out on dates.” (You can get a free copy at my website) www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
The reason I’m moving it up in importance is that I realize that if you don’t clear the air before you go to sleep then it’s harder to do little things for each other the next day because there is a tension that interferes with your thinking.
That tension is there because if you go to bed with all those unresolved emotions that is what you sleep on. That is what you wake up to. You’ll probably not even read your vows as I have suggested you do every night.
Reading your vows every night is powerful but not a magic elixor if you ignore the tension between the two of you.
Make no bones about it, if you have unresolved issues between the two of you then you will not put your focus where it needs to be the next day. You will be caught in distraction that really could be dangerous. Or you miss opportunities.
But the worst of it is that whatever distance the situation caused will continue to grow wider and wider until it seems cavernous, like the Grand Canyon.
At some point you will begin to add other things and annoyances to the situation and even forget what the real problem was.
One of the reasons why I want you and your partner to write your vows together is for more than giving voice to a dream of your life together. It is to set in motion a remembered intimate situation that was totally nonthreatening.
Before you even get into bed resolve your differences.
Talking out your frustration, anger, sadness, or disappointment at night will save you time, energy and mistakes the next day.
Read more about vows, marriage, 'writing down the dream' and 'living the dream'at my website, www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com and www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples ‘write down the dream’ and then live it!
Friday, August 29, 2008
When Writing Vows Keep in Mind You'll be Reviewing Them Over and Over
When you pledge your vows at your wedding ceremony you are not done with them. You are going to keep rereading them to pump the creative energy of the Universe into them and make them a Law of Attraction.
Keep that in mind when you write your personal wedding vows. I want you to put some substance into them. I want you to infuse them with a dream and a vivid vision for your marriage.
That means you are not going to write them just so they sound like some poet came to live with you for a week. Impressing your guests is the least of it. Because, when the ceremony is over no one is going to remember what you said.
Your vows are for the two of you. Period. If you write them together your vows reflect the dream you have for your lives and for your marriage.
“You remind me of the sun rising in the East on a clear morning,” may be poetic but it doesn’t MEAN ANYTHING!
Your vows have to mean something. They have to have some substance. They are the dream you have for your life together!
Because your marriage vows are the dream you have for your life together, you must write your vows together. Don’t go off into a dark corner and surprise your partner. Surprise is not good here. You want to literally be on the same page.
Sit down together and talk about the dream you have for yourself and your life together. First one of you shares the dream for your individual life apart from the marrriage. This is most likely your career. Then the other shares their dream. Then talk about the dream for your marriage. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, etc. Talk about sex, and money, and children, and religion or spirituality, about houses and cars, about travel, about philanthropy, and anything you can think about that will make up the reality and experience of the marriage.
(In my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages , I give you lots of help with this including a ‘living the dream’ workbook. www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
Talk about what you will each do to help the other achieve their dream and talk about what you will have to do to keep ‘living the dream.’
That’s the basis of your vows. It’s not the vows yet. But the essence.
Now put what you talked about into written vows.
“I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.”
“I vow to make our time together a priority in my life.”
“I promise to encourage your dreams and I promise to dream those dreams with you.”
“I promise never to go to bed angry.”
All these are great lines as long as you know what they mean.
Think BIG. Dream BIG. Live BIG!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘Live the Dream” at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Keep that in mind when you write your personal wedding vows. I want you to put some substance into them. I want you to infuse them with a dream and a vivid vision for your marriage.
That means you are not going to write them just so they sound like some poet came to live with you for a week. Impressing your guests is the least of it. Because, when the ceremony is over no one is going to remember what you said.
Your vows are for the two of you. Period. If you write them together your vows reflect the dream you have for your lives and for your marriage.
“You remind me of the sun rising in the East on a clear morning,” may be poetic but it doesn’t MEAN ANYTHING!
Your vows have to mean something. They have to have some substance. They are the dream you have for your life together!
Because your marriage vows are the dream you have for your life together, you must write your vows together. Don’t go off into a dark corner and surprise your partner. Surprise is not good here. You want to literally be on the same page.
Sit down together and talk about the dream you have for yourself and your life together. First one of you shares the dream for your individual life apart from the marrriage. This is most likely your career. Then the other shares their dream. Then talk about the dream for your marriage. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, etc. Talk about sex, and money, and children, and religion or spirituality, about houses and cars, about travel, about philanthropy, and anything you can think about that will make up the reality and experience of the marriage.
(In my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows that Create Powerful Marriages , I give you lots of help with this including a ‘living the dream’ workbook. www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com )
Talk about what you will each do to help the other achieve their dream and talk about what you will have to do to keep ‘living the dream.’
That’s the basis of your vows. It’s not the vows yet. But the essence.
Now put what you talked about into written vows.
“I will love you by striving to grow and be healthy for both our sakes.”
“I vow to make our time together a priority in my life.”
“I promise to encourage your dreams and I promise to dream those dreams with you.”
“I promise never to go to bed angry.”
All these are great lines as long as you know what they mean.
Think BIG. Dream BIG. Live BIG!
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘Live the Dream” at www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com/blog
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Writing Personal Wedding Vows-You are 99.9% Ahead of Everyone Else
I took the following from an Email from Joe Vitale. I felt it said very well what I have been trying to tell people about why you should write your own wedding or marriage vows.
He has a program he sells that he calls, Miracle Coaching, and he talks about the Law of Attraction, or Law of Cause and Effect. Or another way to put it is to say “You have to Decide.” You can check out his site at www.MrFire.com
“You are the masterpiece of your own life; you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is your life (your marriage).
What does that mean and why is it important to you?
It means that you do not have any limits as to what you can accomplish. You just need to have a plan and work it. But it is all up to you.
So now that you know what you would dare, what you would dare to be and what you would dare to have if there were no limits - you are ahead of 99.9% of people.
“What would you dare” is another way of saying that the two of you sculpt the form of your marriage the way you want. Not the way anyone in your family lived. Not how anyone on TV lives. Of course there are some good role models you want to look at for what they have to teach you , but your dream is your dream!
Now you need to simply put together a plan to get here. Believe me when I say this is not rocket science. In fact, you may be surprised at it simplicity.
What can you dare? How big can you dream? That’s the simple part.
But, Rev. Linda, we have to face reality.
No, never. Make your own! That is what you do when you write your wedding vows together and infuse them with your dreams.
That dream is your PLAN. That dream written into your personal wedding vows is your P LAN! You will have infused it with your imagination, creativity and energy. That plan takes on a life of its own and goes to work immediately to bring you the sculpting tools, the ideas, the experiences that manifest as your amazing marriage and partnership.
I give you everything you need in order to begin to think ‘big’ and dare to dream a big dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages. Follow this link or the one on the right–wedding vows- www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Why don’t you sign up to receive new postings as I write them. Follow the RSS feed.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘write the dream’ and then go and ‘live it.’
RSS Trackback URL 27. August 2008 (14:29)
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He has a program he sells that he calls, Miracle Coaching, and he talks about the Law of Attraction, or Law of Cause and Effect. Or another way to put it is to say “You have to Decide.” You can check out his site at www.MrFire.com
“You are the masterpiece of your own life; you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is your life (your marriage).
What does that mean and why is it important to you?
It means that you do not have any limits as to what you can accomplish. You just need to have a plan and work it. But it is all up to you.
So now that you know what you would dare, what you would dare to be and what you would dare to have if there were no limits - you are ahead of 99.9% of people.
“What would you dare” is another way of saying that the two of you sculpt the form of your marriage the way you want. Not the way anyone in your family lived. Not how anyone on TV lives. Of course there are some good role models you want to look at for what they have to teach you , but your dream is your dream!
Now you need to simply put together a plan to get here. Believe me when I say this is not rocket science. In fact, you may be surprised at it simplicity.
What can you dare? How big can you dream? That’s the simple part.
But, Rev. Linda, we have to face reality.
No, never. Make your own! That is what you do when you write your wedding vows together and infuse them with your dreams.
That dream is your PLAN. That dream written into your personal wedding vows is your P LAN! You will have infused it with your imagination, creativity and energy. That plan takes on a life of its own and goes to work immediately to bring you the sculpting tools, the ideas, the experiences that manifest as your amazing marriage and partnership.
I give you everything you need in order to begin to think ‘big’ and dare to dream a big dream in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF WEDDING VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages. Follow this link or the one on the right–wedding vows- www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Why don’t you sign up to receive new postings as I write them. Follow the RSS feed.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping you to ‘write the dream’ and then go and ‘live it.’
RSS Trackback URL 27. August 2008 (14:29)
Filed under: General
Write a Comment
Logged in as: Linda | Logout
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Wedding Vows Create Key Memories
was thinking this morning, as I sipped my second cup of cold coffee, about wedding or marriage vows and how the subconscious mind works.
For most people, unless they have studied metaphysics or mental science or some such discipline, the concept of a subconscious or unconscious mind is vague at best.
Here is what came out of those cold cups of coffee, cold because of all the thinking that was going on in between sips.
And even though it was ‘hot' thinking I haven't yet learned how to motivate molecules to physically change form: like heating up coffee or bending spoons.
Well, anyway, the thought that came to me was the concept of memories.
More...
Why?
Because everything we think, do, or are has to do with memories. Memories that have been encoded into our cells.
Even the way our bodies function is as a result of memory; most of those functions we inherited from before we were born, way back to some universal idea of humans as we developed over time. We can call them DNA or genetics but when it comes right down to it those are all encoded memories.
On some level all our experiences are turned to memories that hang around in our personal physical and mental data bank. Every minute we are comparing what we are hearing, seeing, feeling, etc. with the information in that data bank.
Based on what we find that matches the memories we have, or doesn't match anything, our ‘subconscious' is giving us directions on what to do, what to say, what to think, where to go, and how to do it. Or how not to do or say or go or be.
That's what I call default thinking.
If we want our lives to be any different than they are we must change the energy or vibration of the memories. We must consciously choose or decide on the type of memories we want to store up in our data bank. And then go about experiencing them so we can add to the 'frame of reference.'
The idea of choosing to create memories seems a lot easier to me than trying to change our minds or our thinking.
Ask yourself:
"How do I want my life to be? What does it look like, feel like, taste like, smell look like?" Then create experiences that add new memories to the data bank. When there are more memories that match what you want, that becomes the dominant force factor, or attracting factor.
I am calling them ‘key' memories.
The idea of search, find, and show up works much like search engines. The more key words you have in your web site the more likely it is that the search engines will choose your web site to show up early in the search results.
Keep adding key memories. Those key memories have a dominant feeling, shape, color, sound, etc.
Create your vision and then keep adding ‘key' memories until you have more matches that support your dreams than ones that resist or even negate them.
Writing wedding vows from the conscious creation of a vision and dream that has power, passion and purpose behind them is like storing up key memories before they are actually experienced.
Because the subconscious, or your memories, doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
Is that a wedding gift without a priceag or what? See more at www.weddingvowsandceremonies where I have an amazing Ebook on writing wedding vows. Click on the RSS feed on the Weding Vow Blog to receive new postings.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
For most people, unless they have studied metaphysics or mental science or some such discipline, the concept of a subconscious or unconscious mind is vague at best.
Here is what came out of those cold cups of coffee, cold because of all the thinking that was going on in between sips.
And even though it was ‘hot' thinking I haven't yet learned how to motivate molecules to physically change form: like heating up coffee or bending spoons.
Well, anyway, the thought that came to me was the concept of memories.
More...
Why?
Because everything we think, do, or are has to do with memories. Memories that have been encoded into our cells.
Even the way our bodies function is as a result of memory; most of those functions we inherited from before we were born, way back to some universal idea of humans as we developed over time. We can call them DNA or genetics but when it comes right down to it those are all encoded memories.
On some level all our experiences are turned to memories that hang around in our personal physical and mental data bank. Every minute we are comparing what we are hearing, seeing, feeling, etc. with the information in that data bank.
Based on what we find that matches the memories we have, or doesn't match anything, our ‘subconscious' is giving us directions on what to do, what to say, what to think, where to go, and how to do it. Or how not to do or say or go or be.
That's what I call default thinking.
If we want our lives to be any different than they are we must change the energy or vibration of the memories. We must consciously choose or decide on the type of memories we want to store up in our data bank. And then go about experiencing them so we can add to the 'frame of reference.'
The idea of choosing to create memories seems a lot easier to me than trying to change our minds or our thinking.
Ask yourself:
"How do I want my life to be? What does it look like, feel like, taste like, smell look like?" Then create experiences that add new memories to the data bank. When there are more memories that match what you want, that becomes the dominant force factor, or attracting factor.
I am calling them ‘key' memories.
The idea of search, find, and show up works much like search engines. The more key words you have in your web site the more likely it is that the search engines will choose your web site to show up early in the search results.
Keep adding key memories. Those key memories have a dominant feeling, shape, color, sound, etc.
Create your vision and then keep adding ‘key' memories until you have more matches that support your dreams than ones that resist or even negate them.
Writing wedding vows from the conscious creation of a vision and dream that has power, passion and purpose behind them is like storing up key memories before they are actually experienced.
Because the subconscious, or your memories, doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
Is that a wedding gift without a priceag or what? See more at www.weddingvowsandceremonies where I have an amazing Ebook on writing wedding vows. Click on the RSS feed on the Weding Vow Blog to receive new postings.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Wedding Vows Make MARRIAGE Even More Special
I was reading a blog this morning about how writing personal wedding vows make a wedding even more special.
You can make you MARRIAGE even more special by writing your own vows!!
There is a little known secret about wedding vows: They have the potential to draw to a couple everything that they need to be 'living the dream' that they wrote into their vows. Their vows are sort of like a spiritual and mental plan that the Universe recognizes as a magnet and somehow sends the people, things, opportunities, experiences and ideas that support that plan.
But here's some of what is needed to create that Law of Attraction or grow a strong magnet: The plan, the vows, have to be reread and reread and reread until they become 'second nature.'
There are a couple of ways this can be done.
1. Print out two copies of the vows and put one copy by each side of the bed to be read each night by each individual. Once a month read them together.
2. Print out one copy that stays in the bedroom and both partners read the vows together every night.
3. Both partners read the vows together every morning before they leave the house.
By reading those vows every day they become infused into the minds, lives and spiritual activities of the couple. I call that document a one page miracle. See more about 'writing down the dream,' and 'keeping the dream alive,' in other blogs.
www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda.
You can make you MARRIAGE even more special by writing your own vows!!
There is a little known secret about wedding vows: They have the potential to draw to a couple everything that they need to be 'living the dream' that they wrote into their vows. Their vows are sort of like a spiritual and mental plan that the Universe recognizes as a magnet and somehow sends the people, things, opportunities, experiences and ideas that support that plan.
But here's some of what is needed to create that Law of Attraction or grow a strong magnet: The plan, the vows, have to be reread and reread and reread until they become 'second nature.'
There are a couple of ways this can be done.
1. Print out two copies of the vows and put one copy by each side of the bed to be read each night by each individual. Once a month read them together.
2. Print out one copy that stays in the bedroom and both partners read the vows together every night.
3. Both partners read the vows together every morning before they leave the house.
By reading those vows every day they become infused into the minds, lives and spiritual activities of the couple. I call that document a one page miracle. See more about 'writing down the dream,' and 'keeping the dream alive,' in other blogs.
www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Wedding Vows-The Little Things are the Big Things
In my wedding ceremonies, before we get to the wedding vows, I talk about the empty box (metaphor for the marriage or partnership) and relate it to a bank account.
This is from one of my wedding ceremonies.
"Binding two people in a spiritual atmosphere of love and trust is what makes this union a marriage. It is indeed a meeting and melding of hearts and lives. That love and trust is sort of like the ribbon that holds the two parts of a gift box together."
And, indeed, marriage is like a box. In order to take anything out of it you must first put something into it.
Another way of putting it is that this box is a kind of spiritual bank account.
Put love, joy, appreciation, compassion and support into the box and it will multiply so that when you need it there is something there to sustain you.
You can’t go to the bank and ask for money if you don’t have anything in your account. You can try but you’re not going to get anything.
It’s the same way with a marriage. If you haven’t put any energy, attention into the marriage, even in little ways, it won’t hold together when there are difficulties or challenges.
Here’s a little more from that ceremony:
Try to fall more head over heels in love with each other every day. Look for even the smallest thing to be grateful and excited about.
Every night before you go to bed and every morning find one thing to be grateful for and tell each other.
One of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is, “Do little things for each other.” All those little things, actions, words, and even thoughts all add up and like money, compound.
Find a way to add a few words to your wedding vows. Here is a suggestion: “I will remember to appreciate you in thought, word and deed, every day and support our marriage by not taking you for granted.”
Leave notes, say ‘thank you,’ ask what you can do to help, touch each other easily and often, say ‘I love you,’ for no reason at all.
Big expressions of love and attention are wonderful but in the long run it’s the little things that build up trust the most.
Just be natural and have fun.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
This is from one of my wedding ceremonies.
"Binding two people in a spiritual atmosphere of love and trust is what makes this union a marriage. It is indeed a meeting and melding of hearts and lives. That love and trust is sort of like the ribbon that holds the two parts of a gift box together."
And, indeed, marriage is like a box. In order to take anything out of it you must first put something into it.
Another way of putting it is that this box is a kind of spiritual bank account.
Put love, joy, appreciation, compassion and support into the box and it will multiply so that when you need it there is something there to sustain you.
You can’t go to the bank and ask for money if you don’t have anything in your account. You can try but you’re not going to get anything.
It’s the same way with a marriage. If you haven’t put any energy, attention into the marriage, even in little ways, it won’t hold together when there are difficulties or challenges.
Here’s a little more from that ceremony:
Try to fall more head over heels in love with each other every day. Look for even the smallest thing to be grateful and excited about.
Every night before you go to bed and every morning find one thing to be grateful for and tell each other.
One of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is, “Do little things for each other.” All those little things, actions, words, and even thoughts all add up and like money, compound.
Find a way to add a few words to your wedding vows. Here is a suggestion: “I will remember to appreciate you in thought, word and deed, every day and support our marriage by not taking you for granted.”
Leave notes, say ‘thank you,’ ask what you can do to help, touch each other easily and often, say ‘I love you,’ for no reason at all.
Big expressions of love and attention are wonderful but in the long run it’s the little things that build up trust the most.
Just be natural and have fun.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda
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